10. Your Viagra prescription includes a Popsicle stick and some duct tape
9. The only 100% covered expense is embalming
8. Your Prozac comes in colors and has little "m"s on each pill
7. Preventive Care Coverage includes "an apple a day"
6. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month
5. The Lone Star Bar and Grill is an approved pharmacy
4. The only proctologist lists his address as Rotorooter
3. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles
2. Directions to the Dr.'s office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park"
1. The annual breast exam is conducted at Hooter's
