Author Topic: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP  (Read 6206 times)

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Offline Ernie

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #25 on: May 28, 2006, 05:59:03 PM »
best wishes, always sorry to hear such things :(
Its all happening !
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Offline Dusthawk

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #26 on: May 28, 2006, 06:12:35 PM »
Tom, Just so you know, I have three of my prayer circles working on this as well for you. If I could I'd be right there with ya pounding doors.

Peace, Brother,

Jeff
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ElCheapo

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #27 on: May 28, 2006, 06:35:42 PM »
Found here today.... DMFB.... She had the nerve to be like "What's everyone all worried about?" Exchange of her dumb excuses and LIE LIES LIES, Mom trying to be nice, hear her being a #$%* and mom laid out a good old fasioned #$%* slap for her right after Lydia swore at her.

Her new boyfriend showed up. I exchanged some choice words with her. And for the first time I have cut her off from help. I WILL not under any circumstances chase her down again. She lied to me as fast as she spoke. She gave some stupid response like "What do you want me to do about it?" I responded with "F^&K OFF" justĀ  plain "F^&K OFF", do not call anymore for help from me because you will not be getting it. And I walked away..... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

We left her and Jamie to work it out. Later when we were at my sister inlaws she called to badger mom one more time about hitting her. Mom just hung up..

Right now I guess there needs to be distance. The good thing is new BF says to her you want to stay with, then you sign a restrainging order on Dan. So far she has agreeed to do this.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2006, 06:44:39 PM by ElCheapo »

Offline Ernie

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #28 on: May 28, 2006, 06:40:09 PM »
awsome at least shes back safe and sound,maybe she'll think twice next time ,great news all in all though ;)
Its all happening !
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jsaab2748

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #29 on: May 28, 2006, 06:41:03 PM »
I can't add any more to what's already been written by all. I'll assure you of my own, and again, evryone's, continuing hope/prayers that all tuns out well.

jsaab2748

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #30 on: May 28, 2006, 06:46:25 PM »
A little late with my message, but glad you found her safe :)

ElCheapo

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #31 on: May 28, 2006, 06:59:34 PM »
The weekend has been horrific but our daughter turned up safe and I want to thank all of you for your prayers and concern.  What a great bunch of guys!
Hope we can get together sometime... Tom needs someone to verbally spar with besides me...  :)
 
Helen

Offline Uncle Ernie

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #32 on: May 28, 2006, 07:14:07 PM »
Helen! Wow. I can't imagine my wife ever finding her way here. Very cool of you. Hope La Cheap-wad knows how fortunate he is.

Anyhoo- I recommend a lesson in reality; a visit to the local battered women's shelter. Girls in her situation live in denial, but it might plant a seed so she'll think about the road she's travelling.
Dude- your 8 layers are showing!

Offline Jay B

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #33 on: May 28, 2006, 07:35:30 PM »
Thank Goodness she's OK. Sounds like you still have a long road ahead, but at least your daughter is safe.
Jay
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ElCheapo

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #34 on: May 28, 2006, 07:38:34 PM »
We will make it, we always do.  ;)

Offline bill440cars

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #35 on: May 28, 2006, 07:40:21 PM »

                 Tom, you and your wife have been through hell, no doubt. We all are glad that she's safe,
          I really hate that you and Helen have to go through this turmoil with Lydia though. We all have
          our burdens, and some more so than others. Sounds like you guys have a good sized load of
          your own. I just pray that Lydia will see the light soon and realize where here priorities should
          be and that you all can be a family. Either way, I hope you and Helen can hang together
          through it all. We've had some pretty good blow ups between us and our daughter but,
          nothing like what you all have gone through. You two deserve a break and with that I'm gonna
          go.   Bill
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Offline heffay

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #36 on: May 28, 2006, 08:43:58 PM »
cheapo~
been out of town for a few days and came back to see this thread... i'm glad you found her and i'm sure all the prayers helped. 

having been in plenty of skirmishes with the parents i'd like to say that she'll come around in the long run... it took me years but, i respect my parents more than i ever thought would have been possible... just give her the benefit of the doubt.  i'd bet she deserves it.   :)
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eldar

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #37 on: May 28, 2006, 09:03:41 PM »
Same as heffay for me. I go out for the weekend and look what happens!

It is always good to find a loved one safe, even if they act like things were no big deal. A trip to the abused womens center does sound like a good idea. So many girls these days think nothing bad will ever happen yet you read about it almost every day.
I have this to look forward to as my girls grow up.

I wish you luck in patching things back together and regardless of the friction, I am happy you were able to find her.

Offline Orcinus

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #38 on: May 28, 2006, 09:30:52 PM »
EC & Helen, I'm so glad that this all turned out to be ok,  Good luck at getting Lydia to understand just what she's done to you this weekend.  Try to enjoy what's left of it.

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Offline clintinga

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #39 on: May 28, 2006, 10:08:32 PM »
Glad she is safe- my prayers are with you and your family.

Clint

Offline Dusthawk

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #40 on: May 28, 2006, 11:09:28 PM »
T & H,

Very relieved she is safe(even if a bit lousy with attitude). My prayer circles will be delighted, I'll keep out the friction for them, let them feel they helped.

I don't have a daughter yet and I don't mean to tell you how to be a parent by any means, but if it were me I would tell her how you felt when she disappeared like that and that if I knew the kind of thanks I got from her I would have left her lost as she is not the daughter I thought I had.

And before anybody in these forums gets all incensed about this type of response, When I was twelve my Mom freaked out when I went with a friend camping in the local woods and I forgot to tell her exactly when or even where. I mentioned it in passing the night before and when she woke up the next morning I was already gone, tent and everything. When I showed up Sunday evening she laid into me like a Wolverine and I got all P.O.'d as well and blew her off. About twenty minutes later when she cooled down she came to my room and laid that bit on me where she shouldn't have been so worried and tried looking everywhere for me because I apparently wasn't the son she thought she had. Mom then turned around and didn't talk to me for two days. I felt so horrid about what I did that I found every way I could to apologise and make it up to her. Mom was the most important person in my life, and still is to some extent. You see, she passed away in my arms 23 days before my 15th birthday. That is a lot of the reason I am who I am today, everything I do, I wonder if she is casting a critical eye upon me from heaven, and the last thing I want to do is disappoint her.

That said,

Peace, Brother

Jeff ''Teddybear'' Merrill
« Last Edit: May 29, 2006, 10:47:01 PM by Dusthawk »
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Offline Raul CB750K1

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #41 on: May 29, 2006, 12:34:32 AM »
Hey Tom, I haven't used the computer during the weekend and just now read all the story. I'm glad that you found her. My daughter is just three years old now, but I wonder sometimes how will I deal with she and the boy when they become 15 and the "parental struggle" begins.

The other day in a shopping mall I lost her in sight for about two minutes and it was really disturbing. It's amazing all the thinking and suffering you can endure in two minutes, let alone a couple of days.


Raul


Offline oldbiker

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #42 on: May 29, 2006, 01:01:58 AM »
Tom, remember that the bad feelings towards her at the moment are really  just relief that she is safe. Soon they will pass so tell her that you love her and all will be well. I know because my younger son is 48 and still comes to Mum and Dad when he needs Help (money). I still wouldn't be without him.

comcrx

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #43 on: May 29, 2006, 06:08:45 AM »
Tom, its monday morning and I was up north at the cabin all weekend and this is my first chance to read/post

I'm extremely glad this ended in a positive light!

I live only a few blocks from where your daughter goes to school and was almost ready to to a quick run through the area looking for her car, but I'm happy to not have to do that.
as a former junkie myself, trust me when I say that this dan guy(the wanna be gangster) will deal with himself soon enough. he's on a fast track downstairs if ya know what I mean, and the immense effort it would take to turn that around would surely fix some of the other stuff that is wrong with the way he handles his situations. to rephrase without sugar-coating it, he'll either get better or die
as far as your daughter goes, hopefully all will return to being well soon enough. I'm sure once all of the emotions calm down, on both sides, y'all will be able to talk about this and get some understanding
if theres any help you need, just ask

andy

Offline golden_child

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #44 on: May 30, 2006, 12:24:52 PM »
I'm jumping in a bit late here but I've been out of town all weekend.

I'm happy to hear your daughter is home safe.

Offline Ted Nomura

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #45 on: May 30, 2006, 01:44:40 PM »
Good to hear that your daughter is safe. My sister lives in Minneapolis so I was planning to let her know until I heard about the good news. Oh, the headaches some fathers had to face but better safe than sorry. And never say never!
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Offline Rushoid

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #46 on: May 30, 2006, 01:53:55 PM »
Sorry I'm getting here late - been out of town. Very happy she is safe! My 17 year-old daughter skipped school last Friday and had us worried sick. I tore into her pretty hard too. I keep telling myself that she's a better kid than I was at that age. That helps to keep me in check.

Good Luck,
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Offline Chris Schneiter

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #47 on: May 30, 2006, 01:57:17 PM »
E.C. I'm so glad this was a false alarm. As the single parent of a 15 year old girl this just stopped me in mY tracks...I'm glad you and your wife have each other for comfort and strategy, and your daughter is ok, even if not in the best way..
Don't forget about her new boyfriend. He may not have known her for too long, but I'm sure he's traumatized none the less...when I was 19, I watched as my highschool sweetheart walked down the street and out of view...she didn't call, she didn't contact her family...we spent the night driving around the streets looking for her...the next mornig, she called from her college dorm..."what's the matter? I was just with a bunch of friends!"...she had no clue how cruel or inconsiderate she had been...it would have even been ok if I knew what she was up to, as long as I knew she was ok...that experience stuck with me for years...her boyfriend may need help to get over it. you too.
I feel bad for anyone who has to go through what you did...no one should have to envision what you did.
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ElCheapo

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #48 on: May 30, 2006, 02:35:52 PM »
I would like to thank everyone for their prayers and best wishes.

Since the big blow up things have gotten back to a relatively open communication state for now, and a visist is planned in the . It was almost like she wanted and needed help and was calling her new boyfriend for help and we ( the great parents that we are) skid across the plate at the WRONG time.

Like I said, we will make it...

huntman58

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Re: My daughter is missing anyone in Minneapolis/ ST Paul Minnesota HELP
« Reply #49 on: May 30, 2006, 07:25:23 PM »
Found here today.... DMFB.... She had the nerve to be like "What's everyone all worried about?" Exchange of her dumb excuses and LIE LIES LIES, Mom trying to be nice, hear her being a #$%* and mom laid out a good old fasioned #$%* slap for her right after Lydia swore at her.

Her new boyfriend showed up. I exchanged some choice words with her. And for the first time I have cut her off from help. I WILL not under any circumstances chase her down again. She lied to me as fast as she spoke. She gave some stupid response like "What do you want me to do about it?" I responded with "F^&K OFF" justĀ  plain "F^&K OFF", do not call anymore for help from me because you will not be getting it. And I walked away..... >:( >:( >:( >:( >:(

We left her and Jamie to work it out. Later when we were at my sister inlaws she called to badger mom one more time about hitting her. Mom just hung up..

Right now I guess there needs to be distance. The good thing is new BF says to her you want to stay with, then you sign a restrainging order on Dan. So far she has agreeed to do this.
I know this is lat but glad you found here .I also have called people I know in your area and let them also know. yes some times,time is whats needed I know it was between my parents and I. now mom and I are best friends but dad is gone .I am glad he and I made peace years before thow as we got many a good time later. I know am going threw the time deal with my own girl never easy but it is what has to be also. again glad she is safe and that you know were she is and smartenof to give it time if thats whats needed as only you and yours can make that call.
 as parents we all blew it some times or do not do the exact right thing at the right time but looking abck on life it is easy to see 20/20 but we can only judge and make calls as we see them right then and there . one thing i have learnd as hard as it is is I always have an open door for my kids . but they also know they may have to listen to me and that i may also demand an explanation of why
 
peace
Marty
« Last Edit: May 30, 2006, 07:35:53 PM by huntman58 »