Author Topic: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas  (Read 3661 times)

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Offline mick750F

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Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« on: October 06, 2005, 02:11:37 PM »
   A friend just sent this to me so I thought I' pass it on.

      Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
 
   Positive ground depends upon proper circuit functioning, the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work; we know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of the electrical system, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing.

   When, for example, the smoke escapes from an electrical component (i.e., say, a Lucas voltage regulator), it will be observed that the component stops working. The function of the wire harness is to carry the smoke from one device to another; when the wire harness "springs a leak", and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterwards. Starter motors were frowned upon in British Automobiles for some time, largely because they consume large quantities of smoke, requiring very large wires.

   It has been noted that Lucas components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than Bosch or generic Japanese electrics. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brakes leak fluid, British tyres leak air and the British defense establishment leaks secrets...so, naturally, British electrics leak smoke.
   
'
Glosta, MA
It's not the heat...it's the humanity.

eldar

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #1 on: October 06, 2005, 02:40:33 PM »
Now this gets a good HA HA! ;D

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #2 on: October 06, 2005, 03:03:57 PM »
I agree, still chuckling.  ;D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

smithrelo

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2005, 12:44:37 PM »
"we know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of the electrical system, it stops working. "

This is also true of any British-made (or designed) automobile - as my 1966 Sunbeam Tiger attested to.  That car WOULD NOT RUN if the temp was under 32 degrees - because there was not enought "cranking amps" in their dinky batteries...so me, being the genius I am, decided to "up the amps" with a NEW DIE HARD Battery from the local Sears store!........


You guessed it - SMOKE came out from EVERYWHERE - and I learned that above truism about smoke/electrial systems/not working!  FIRST HAND!

Rewiring that car cost MORE than I paid for the entire CAR!!!

Linda
(who wishes she still had her Tiger! Loved that car when it would run-wanted to fire-bomb it when it wouldn't)

Offline Jonesy

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2005, 04:53:37 PM »
Yeah... feeds into the old joke about why the English drink warm beer- Lucas made the refrigerators!

"Lucas- they brought us into the darkness!"
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"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8"

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2005, 09:24:43 PM »
as my 1966 Sunbeam Tiger attested to. SMOKE came out from EVERYWHERE -
Linda
(who wishes she still had her Tiger! Loved that car when it would run-wanted to fire-bomb it when it wouldn't)

I forgot about my Tiger.  I thought the dash fires was the heat source in the winter.  It had heated seats!  until the carpet was all burnt up.  Fun car to drive, hell to push.
These wonderful little birds are great flyers, delicious eating, excellent for training your hunting dog, and just fun to shoot,or stuff and keep around the house.  Bobwhites can be put with other types of Quail and have very large penis's.  Quail are very popular with the babes.

Offline Quail "Owner of the comfortable k8"

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Re: Electrical Theory by Joseph Lucas
« Reply #6 on: October 09, 2005, 09:36:51 PM »
My New Lucas Monitor! ;D
These wonderful little birds are great flyers, delicious eating, excellent for training your hunting dog, and just fun to shoot,or stuff and keep around the house.  Bobwhites can be put with other types of Quail and have very large penis's.  Quail are very popular with the babes.