Author Topic: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*  (Read 3312 times)

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Offline trueblue

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No, it's not crocs, snakes or even spiders...


It's a Drop bear, just the mention of their name strikes fear into the heart of anyone who has been savaged by one of these vicious creatures.






A few ways to avoid attacks

*Avoid walking under trees. If for some bizarre reason you feel a compelling urge to walk under every tree you see, attempt to avoid the chainsaw of natural selection by lying down under trees and spitting upward. Drop Bears will typically spit back down at you. If you successfully detect a Drop Bear - Move. Quickly.

*Do not camp or pitch tents under trees. Especially trees with long overhanging branches. If the drop bears don't get you, the eucalypt's annoying habit of shedding boughs during dry conditions will.

*Rub Vegemite behind your ears. Drop Bears cannot abide the smell of Vegemite. Do not fall for the common mistake of rubbing toothpaste behind your ears: that's just silly. Stick to the Vegemite! Do not be lured by the misconception that rubbing the #$%* of an Australian politician behind your ears will prevent attack. It may stink but it's full of bull#$%*!

*Stick forks in your hat. While this may not actually prevent the Drop Bear from attacking you, it will certainly deter it from attacking you again.

*If you suspect an encroaching attack by a Drop Bear, walk on your hands. This totally confuses drop bears, as they begin to wonder if they are actually below you looking up through the ground. This is so distressing for the Bear that it often triggers an onset of sudden exploding head syndrome.

*Before setting out on a bushwalk (aka Magic Roundabout) trickle rivulets of your own urine on your footwear.

*German WW I helmets with the spikes on the head were introduced in June of 1916 when the Australian 105th Laundry and Dirty Tricks Brigade started dropping drop bears into the enemy trenches from special "eucalyptus zeppelins," and to this day a more potent deterrent has yet to be found.

*If you want to prevent a drop bear from raiding your campsite spread a 6 pack of lite beer around your campsite. The scent of the lite beer repels the drop bear away from your campsite. WARNING:do not place XXXX beer around your campsite. This will only attract more drop bears and they will stay for hours more. If beer is essential (as it often is) only bring Fosters. The smell alone will knock out a healthy adult Drop Bear for up to 4 hours.

*Wearing a cork hat after covering your face with Vegemite has been known to keep away Drop Bears. This may be because the scent of the Vegemite confuses the Drop Bears into thinking that you're Australian. Be careful though, because if the entire face isn't covered, it has been known to fail.

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Offline fmctm1sw

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2012, 07:27:34 PM »
Reminds me of the "Sea Bear" episode on Spongebob...
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Offline mark

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2012, 01:47:35 AM »
oh.... thread title made me think of this one:



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Offline Duke McDukiedook

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #3 on: July 02, 2012, 10:20:24 AM »
I knew it, National Geographic is full of #$%*.
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Online Don R

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #4 on: July 02, 2012, 10:52:55 AM »
Snakes and spiders and drop bears, oh my,
« Last Edit: July 02, 2012, 10:58:42 AM by Don R »
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Offline 333

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #5 on: July 02, 2012, 11:04:51 AM »
oh.... thread title made me think of this one:

Makes me think of a bunch of them.  I just don't remember where they all are.
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Offline 74cb750

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2012, 06:01:45 AM »
scary place to live.
Laugh at least once a day.
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Offline mark

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2012, 08:38:58 PM »
oh.... thread title made me think of this one:

Makes me think of a bunch of them.  I just don't remember where they all are.

The 'Hoff soap was more disturbing but had nothing to do with Australia.

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Offline BeSeeingYou

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #8 on: July 15, 2012, 10:33:14 PM »
In the news today here in Minnesota.  A woman swimming in Island Lake near Duluth was attacked and severely bitten by an otter.  25 bite marks through the wetsuit  she was wearing.  So yeah we have dangerous animals too........USA, USA, USA....not just for pussies. ;D ;D ;D 
« Last Edit: July 15, 2012, 10:35:50 PM by srust58 »

Offline Retro Rocket

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #9 on: July 16, 2012, 12:39:04 AM »
In the news today here in Minnesota.  A woman swimming in Island Lake near Duluth was attacked and severely bitten by an otter.  25 bite marks through the wetsuit  she was wearing.  So yeah we have dangerous animals too........USA, USA, USA....not just for pussies. ;D ;D ;D

We have pussies too mate.... ;D ;D ;)
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Offline trueblue

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #10 on: July 16, 2012, 03:56:56 AM »
In the news today here in Minnesota.  A woman swimming in Island Lake near Duluth was attacked and severely bitten by an otter.  25 bite marks through the wetsuit  she was wearing.  So yeah we have dangerous animals too........USA, USA, USA....not just for pussies. ;D ;D ;D

We have pussies too mate.... ;D ;D ;)
and cats too ;)
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Offline Retro Rocket

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #11 on: July 17, 2012, 04:48:16 AM »
Don't forget the "blind mullet" also mate, usually found swimming in the surf at Bondi..... :o
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Offline Duke McDukiedook

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #12 on: July 17, 2012, 11:31:00 AM »
It's just a Baby Ruth, see?      **chomp**
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Offline trueblue

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Re: Australia's biggest danger *Warning images may be disturbing*
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2012, 02:53:58 AM »
Then there is the Ooroo, not as common now as they once were, but still dangerous.  The Ooroo is Australia’s biggest and nastiest breed of kangaroo. Luckily, the Terras have eaten most of them and now there is only a few left. The Ooroo is as mad as a march hare and a million times more dangerous. You can not reason with an Ooroo. They attack for no reason and destroy everything in their path. Only the very strongest would dare fight an Ooroo.  There is also the hoop snakes, it’s mode of transport is quite unique.  It swallows its tail forming a circle then propels itself through the outback like the hoop it’s named after.  Its venom causes delusions which makes a person go loopy for a few days, (in this state many people have become lost in the bush). 
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