Author Topic: Redneck "STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN"  (Read 989 times)

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Offline roy1

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Redneck "STARSHIP ENTERPRISE CAPTAIN"
« on: July 17, 2012, 11:46:54 AM »


Your Starship Enterprise Captain might be a redneck if....


Your shuttlecraft has been up on blocks for over a month
 
He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles

You have a shuttle called "Billy Joe Bob"
 

He has the sensor array repaired with a bent coathanger and aluminum foil

He installs a set of bullhorns on the front of the saucer section

He says "Got your ears on, good buddy" instead of "open hailing frequencies"
 
He hangs fuzzy dice over the viewscreen
 
He keeps a six-pack under his command chair and a gun rack above it
 
He says "Yee-Ha!" instead of "Engage"
 
He has a hand-tooled holster for his phaser
 
He insists on calling his executive officer "Bubba"
 
He sets the fore viewscreen to reruns of "Bassmaster"
 
He programs the food replicator for beer, ribs, and turnip greens
 
He paints the starship John Deere green
 
He refers to a Pulsar as a "Blue Light Special"
 
He refers to the Mutara Nebula as a "swamp"

His moonshine is stronger than Romulan Ale
 
His idea of dress uniform is CLEAN bib overalls
 
He wears mirrored shades on the Bridge


He  sets phaser to "Cajun"





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