The cubicles in men's toilets piss me off. They should be completely sound proofed, as whenever I go to drop the kids off at the pool, I find the whole process both embarrassing and hilarious, in equal, er, dollops.
Men's cubicles are only for doing number two's. A real man will never use the cubicle for anything but taking a load off his mind, unless he is suffering from terminal constipation, which usually results in just as much hilarity for me when there's tooting coming from every cubicle.
Today, I walked along the row of cubicles, trying to find one as far as possible from the other occupied cells, so as to (hopefully) muffle the noise of my pre-poop farting. I'd only just sat down, when the door in the adjoining cubicle slammed shut, followed by the sound of pants dropping, and some raucous farting.
I tried to time my emissions with that of my new neighbour, but after awhile I was reminded of Derek and Clives' famous "Farting Contest", and I muttered to myself "And the gun goes off", which my neighbour heard, and started laughing out loud.
I used his laughter to camouflage my own farting, while at the same time laughing like a loon. Before long, the whole bank of cubicles were (possibly literally) pissing themselves, and there was a continual artillery barrage. Having finished my business, and by now slightly high on the cloud of methane wafting around my cubicle, I made good my escape.
As much as it was an enjoyable experience, it was nonetheless, an experience I could do without. I believe that men's cubicles should undergo a complete redesign, folks defecating should neither be seen, nor heard...........
