I don't think you blokes are pissed off at all, I think you're just having a chat, which really pisses me off!
OK, here I am, a hard working Aussie taxpayer, home after a hard couple of hours (don't tell the boss, but I pissed off from work early today, for the fourth time this week.......) slog at the ol' salt mine, half drunk (a mate retired today, so I had to go to his piss-up) and tired.
There's nothing I like better when I get home on heavy days like this than to crash into my comfy Italian leather rocking recliner and watch some cable TV, while dribbling 160 proof Wild Turkey down my neck.
I got myself a drink, grabbed the remote, collapsed into my chair, hit the button on the remote, and ........... nothing. WTF? I climbed outta my chair, grabbed the other remote, hit the tit, and.......... fcuk-all happened! WTFF? I checked the power board, power supply, cables running every which way, and nothing seemed out of order, except the box wouldn't light up.
I rang the Foxtel line and got the robot. "Good Afternnon, please tell me a little about what you'd like to talk about today" "My fcuking Foxtel Box is Fcuked!", I shout into the phone. "Right, so you have a technical issue, yes?" "Fcuking Oath mate, this piece of shiit won't fcuking go, it's rooted!" I reply.
"Right, we will now attempt to reboot your Foxtel box remotely. Please hang up, and if your Foxtel box is still not working, please call us right back". "No worries Robby, give it a bash you robot dickhead!"
10 minutes later, no go. Fcuk it, I call them back., and get Robby the Robot back again. He puts me Thru to Azir, in Pakistan or India, or some other fcuking third world toilet. Azir asks me whats wrong, and I say that the Foxtel box is fcuked. He tells me in his crappy Muslim voice, that my power supply is buggered. (it's not) I say that it's not, but he's unmoved, I'll receive a new power supply in 5 working days.
I tell him that it's not the power supply, but he tells me to piss off, and asks me if there's anything he can help me with today? I say 'Yep, you can roll over and die you waste of skin", but I don't think he understands and wishes me a lovely day.
I call back in 20 minutes or so, and this time I get Andy. Andy is another curry muncher, but a nice bloke. I tell him about Azir, but he's really not interested, so I let it die. He agrees that the box is indeed fcuked, and thanks me for my patience, and straight away I start to like him. He tells me he'll get a new box within 48 hours and asks if he can be of any more help. I ask him to punch Azir in the face, but he tells me that he's not allowed to.
So here I am, sitting in my lovely Italian leather armchair with a lovely glass of Turkey Lurkey, singing Christmas fcuking Carols and wishing the world wasn't quite so full of deadschidts........... Oh well, time for a Nap, I was so pissed off last night I couldn't sleep! Cheers, Terry.
