Author Topic: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.  (Read 1402897 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3775 on: September 15, 2013, 03:00:05 am »
Yep, sounds good to me mate, watch yer old pooch though, a mate of mine's little dog used to drink out of his salt water pool in Brissie, and one day he came home and the dog was dead. The vet told him it was his salt water diet.........

I know what you mean about chlorine too, I worked at a "Farmers Store" when I was a kid and we sold the stuff in bulk, and I had more holes in my jeans than a poofter Greenie! ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3776 on: September 15, 2013, 03:23:59 am »
Charlie jumps in for a bit of a swim sometimes nut I don't think that he's too keen on the sodium chloride.  ;D

Years ago I had a German Shepard called Zac.
We on the piss one night and had a pig on the spit.
Well Zac woofed into the leftovers and the poor bastards guts easy so swollen from the tucker that he could hardly walk.

So I took him down to Vestys Beach that morning for a swim.
When he got out of the water, he laid the biggest turd on the beach that I've evrr seen. 
It was a record breaker.  ;D
It put our indiginous brothers to shame.  ;D
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I'd be worried about me.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3777 on: September 15, 2013, 03:50:27 am »
Ha ha, I can relate to Zac's plight. Many years ago I was out bush on exercise doing some army stuff, digging fighting trenches etc, it was in the middle of winter, snowing, and guys were going down with hyperthermia.

We couldn't get back into town because the roads had turned to mud, and rations were running low. Somehow the Padre got out to us and he had a big esky full of thick corn soup, which was still warm! There was enough to feed 100 of us, so the 30 of us who were actually there, ate very well indeed.

A couple of days later, I felt that I could no longer contain the several litres of delicious corn soup that I'd consumed, so I took my shovel and went for a walk. I dug a scrape in the side of a hill with a bit of low cover, and proceeded to give birth to the biggest corncob that you've ever seen, it was so thick that I was bleeding, and so long that it was pushing me up in the air. I had to sort of "duck walk" along as I laid this thing out, and afterwards, I felt like I'd been raped by Mandingo.

I wanted to pick it up and carry it across my shoulders to show the other guys how big it was, but just as I was deciding which way I'd go we were "attacked" by the enemy party, so I had to do a runner, but no joke, if I'd had a spare boot I could have done one hell of a Rolf Harris impersonation! (and no, I'm not talking about his recent troubles.........) ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline petercb750

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3778 on: September 15, 2013, 04:11:39 am »
I'm pissed off that I probably won't sleep real well tonight now, visions of Terry with Mandingo, corn cob turds, bleeding arseholes.....ah Terry, where would we be without you  ;D
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3779 on: September 15, 2013, 05:12:28 am »
Thanks Pete, I couldn't let Mick get away with that story without relaying (re-laying?) that story.

I'm pissed off with the biatch who sold me the Subaru right now. I bought the car from Gum Tree from a Bogan biatch in Geelong who didn't mention that the entire cooling system needed to be replaced, so I've worked my arse off every weekend since I bought it to fix that mess and replace a rear hub, replace all the missing belt cover screws, give it a full service, flush the brakes, wash all the crud off the underneath of the engine, etc etc, so I could get a "Roadworthy Certificate" which is needed to transfer the registration.

Last Monday I finally got it in for an inspection, there were only a few things that had to be fixed which I've done this weekend, and tomorrow I get the Roadworthy Certificate. Today I get an email from her telling me that she's cancelling the rego first thing tomorrow.

I ask her why, and she says I've been making excuses for the last 6 weeks and I should have had the roadworthy by now. I tell her that if she'd told me that the entire cooling system was fcuked, I wouldn't have bought the fcuking car in the first place, and she should have expected it to take longer than we'd both expected to get a roadworthy considering it's faults. She says, too bad, she's gonna cancel the rego anyway.

This isn't a huge problem, I can get a permit to drive it to the roadworthy tester then drive it to Vicroads to just register it as an unregistered car, but she pisses me off. I comprehensively insured it in my name from day one and told her in writing that I'd accept responsibility for any speeding fines, but that's not good enough for the lowlife biatch.

Karma is a terrible thing, she's unemployed and so is her live-in boyfriend and she's got a couple of kids, (probably as a result of the "Baby Bonus") her rented house is an absolute pigstye, inside it looks like something out of one of those "Hoarders" shows. She's also got a big old Pit Bull. (illegal in Victoria) It might be time for a visit from Child Services, or Centre-Link, or her local Bylaws Officer, or even all three methinks.............. ;D     
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline OldSchool_IsCool

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3780 on: September 15, 2013, 05:44:59 am »
I'm pissed off with myself just now. I bought a tool called a "Mighty Vac" a few years ago, which has multiple uses, but I bought it for bleeding the brakes on my old BMW K1100LT when I installed braided steel lines.

Being the brain surgeon that I am, I never read the instructions on how to set it up, or how to use it, so I had a pretty crappy experience with it. I haven't used it since.

Today I had to "flush" the old brake fluid from my beautiful Subaru and replace it with nice new stuff. This time I read the instructions and set it up properly, and wow, what a piece of cake! I did all four calipers with no drips, no leaks, no air in the lines, and I only used around 400 ml of brake fluid to do the whole car.

I think I better flush the brakes on the Cafe Racer next weekend, there's really no need, but I just like playing with this toy............. ;D   

Wrong thread for this, but since you brought it up...

The MiteVac is a real work saver when it comes to changing fork oil in a pressurized front end, like ur Goldwing.  By the book, you drain the fluid and disassemble the top of the fork, pressure tubes and all.  What a pain!!

With a MiteVac, a Shrader valve (or some other means to connect to the pressure tubes) and a few lengthe of aquarium tube, it's a snap!  Just drain the old fluid from the drain at the bottom of the fork box.  Attach some aquarium tube to the drain hole.  Put the other end of the tube in a bottle with a measured amount of fork oil.  Use your MiteVac to draw a vacuum on the pressure tubes and the fork oil is drawn up into the fork like a teenager on a Slurppie!!  Keep pulling the vacuum as you replace the drain plug.  Repeat on the other side.
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Lot’s of things. You’ve been watching me.
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Offline Bailgang

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3781 on: September 15, 2013, 06:35:03 am »
I put my 550 up for sale on CL last night and I've already got someone trying to scam me this morning. What a way to start a Sunday.  >:(
Scott


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Offline krusty

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3782 on: September 15, 2013, 03:11:58 pm »
Don't recall saying Kevin was my hero, which he isn't, and neither was Julia.

Ha ha, well you seemed a bit #$%*ty with Abbott, but only because you didn't understand what you were talking about regards the source of funding for the paid maternity leave.

I hope I've made that clear for you now, and if you've got any more political questions, let me know. Cheers, Terry. ;D

But a decision to cut the company tax rate by 1.5 per cent to ensure big companies are no worse off from the levy has caused controversy. Shareholders will take a $1.6 billion hit because they will receive fewer tax credits on their shares (the tax credits are not available on the levy). Many self funded retirees rely on these tax credits to reduce their tax bills. The Australian Shareholders Association says direct share investors and retirees drawing an income from self-managed superannuation funds will be hard hit.

The change will also hit the retirement savings of all Australian workers, although the impact is small. According to modelling by Rice Warner, for a male worker aged 30, earning an income of $70,000, the change would reduce his retirement balance by $2,200 to $623,200.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national-news/federal-election/women-wooed-by-abbott8217s-parental-leave-scheme-8212-but-funding-questions-remain/story-fnho52qo-1226703459911#ixzz2f090ZhBL

As for Abbott, or Rudd, or Gillard, I'm not one who is swayed by personalities and the way they are portrayed in the biased press media (Murdoch of course, the economic refugee who went to the US and took up US citizenship so he could make more billions than he could here).
Its the policies I look at and what benefit they would have for all and not just a few. I don't rubbish others opinions, its their free choice and also BTW the last election was the first time I've voted Labor for many years and no, I've never voted for greens either.
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Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3783 on: September 15, 2013, 06:58:37 pm »
Thanks Pete, I couldn't let Mick get away with that story without relaying (re-laying?) that story.

I'm pissed off with the biatch who sold me the Subaru right now. I bought the car from Gum Tree from a Bogan biatch in Geelong who didn't mention that the entire cooling system needed to be replaced, so I've worked my arse off every weekend since I bought it to fix that mess and replace a rear hub, replace all the missing belt cover screws, give it a full service, flush the brakes, wash all the crud off the underneath of the engine, etc etc, so I could get a "Roadworthy Certificate" which is needed to transfer the registration.

Last Monday I finally got it in for an inspection, there were only a few things that had to be fixed which I've done this weekend, and tomorrow I get the Roadworthy Certificate. Today I get an email from her telling me that she's cancelling the rego first thing tomorrow.

I ask her why, and she says I've been making excuses for the last 6 weeks and I should have had the roadworthy by now. I tell her that if she'd told me that the entire cooling system was fcuked, I wouldn't have bought the fcuking car in the first place, and she should have expected it to take longer than we'd both expected to get a roadworthy considering it's faults. She says, too bad, she's gonna cancel the rego anyway.

This isn't a huge problem, I can get a permit to drive it to the roadworthy tester then drive it to Vicroads to just register it as an unregistered car, but she pisses me off. I comprehensively insured it in my name from day one and told her in writing that I'd accept responsibility for any speeding fines, but that's not good enough for the lowlife biatch.

Karma is a terrible thing, she's unemployed and so is her live-in boyfriend and she's got a couple of kids, (probably as a result of the "Baby Bonus") her rented house is an absolute pigstye, inside it looks like something out of one of those "Hoarders" shows. She's also got a big old Pit Bull. (illegal in Victoria) It might be time for a visit from Child Services, or Centre-Link, or her local Bylaws Officer, or even all three methinks.............. ;D   
Yeah but,
I wanna win the turd story telling competition.  ;D

OH OH - What have I started now.  ;D
If I was you
I'd be worried about me.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3784 on: September 16, 2013, 12:44:36 am »

But a decision to cut the company tax rate by 1.5 per cent to ensure big companies are no worse off from the levy has caused controversy. Shareholders will take a $1.6 billion hit because they will receive fewer tax credits on their shares (the tax credits are not available on the levy). Many self funded retirees rely on these tax credits to reduce their tax bills. The Australian Shareholders Association says direct share investors and retirees drawing an income from self-managed superannuation funds will be hard hit.

The change will also hit the retirement savings of all Australian workers, although the impact is small. According to modelling by Rice Warner, for a male worker aged 30, earning an income of $70,000, the change would reduce his retirement balance by $2,200 to $623,200.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/national-news/federal-election/women-wooed-by-abbott8217s-parental-leave-scheme-8212-but-funding-questions-remain/story-fnho52qo-1226703459911#ixzz2f090ZhBL

As for Abbott, or Rudd, or Gillard, I'm not one who is swayed by personalities and the way they are portrayed in the biased press media (Murdoch of course, the economic refugee who went to the US and took up US citizenship so he could make more billions than he could here).
Its the policies I look at and what benefit they would have for all and not just a few. I don't rubbish others opinions, its their free choice and also BTW the last election was the first time I've voted Labor for many years and no, I've never voted for greens either.


Well googled Krusty, and of course being a Labor voter, it's expected that you'd single out one side of the media, and not the other. It's the Labor way...........

As a self funded retiree you have a huge array of investment opportunities available to maximise your return, so all you need to do is invest your money in countries that don't offer a paid maternity leave scheme, although I just did a wiki search and discovered that:

 "Only four countries have no national law mandating paid time off for new parents: Liberia, Papua New Guinea, Swaziland, and the United States.[3] In the U.S., the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 (FMLA) mandates up to 12 weeks of (potentially unpaid) job-protected leave, including parental leave, for many American workers. Subnational laws also vary; for example the U.S. state of California does mandate paid family leave, including parental leave for same-sex partners."

Maybe you could invest in McDonalds? You don't see too many Mackers employees of child-bearing age, so your money would be pretty safe there, I'd reckon? Or maybe a gay nightclub? The Catholic Church executive would have a pretty low birth rate, so that'd be OK, but they do get sued on a fairly regular basis, so maybe not? Anyway, if I think of anything else, I'll let you know. Cheers, Terry. ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3785 on: September 16, 2013, 12:46:31 am »

Wrong thread for this, but since you brought it up...

The MiteVac is a real work saver when it comes to changing fork oil in a pressurized front end, like ur Goldwing.  By the book, you drain the fluid and disassemble the top of the fork, pressure tubes and all.  What a pain!!

With a MiteVac, a Shrader valve (or some other means to connect to the pressure tubes) and a few lengthe of aquarium tube, it's a snap!  Just drain the old fluid from the drain at the bottom of the fork box.  Attach some aquarium tube to the drain hole.  Put the other end of the tube in a bottle with a measured amount of fork oil.  Use your MiteVac to draw a vacuum on the pressure tubes and the fork oil is drawn up into the fork like a teenager on a Slurppie!!  Keep pulling the vacuum as you replace the drain plug.  Repeat on the other side.

Good to know, thanks mate, last time I did the forks it almost bloody killed me! Cheers, Terry. ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3786 on: September 16, 2013, 12:58:31 am »
Yeah but, I wanna win the turd story telling competition.  ;D

OH OH - What have I started now.  ;D

You're on Mick, because that story was just the tip of the turd berg, I have a repertoire of schidt stories that'd make a Labor politician cringe, so bring it on! (and these stories must be genuine personal experiences, not internet story plagiarism, OK?)

Take a virtual slap across your cheeks (either end) with my imaginary glove Mick, this is a Dung Duel! Cheers, Terry. (Poo-Meister) ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3787 on: September 16, 2013, 01:15:31 am »
Ooher, and also, reference that nasty biatch who gave me a hard time about my beautiful 450 dollar Subaru, well I won!

Yep, I went over to the roadworthy inspector's shop first up this morning and had him check the items needed to get the certificate, then straight over to my local Vicroads office (DMV) and explained the situation to the lady there, and apart from being a babe, she was really nice, and even though I didn't have a transfer of registration certificate signed by the seller, because I had a signed receipt that was good enough for her, and she transferred the registration in 5 minutes flat, and only charged me 59 bucks. Woohoo!

She also told me that if the seller had cancelled the registration I could have sued her, but I said that I wasn't interested in suing anyone, I was just happy that it was cleared up. The nice Vicroads lady said that the seller could also be fined for selling me a registered car without a current roadworthy certificate, so she might be in for a shock. I'd feel sorry for her, if she hadn't pissed me off................ ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3788 on: September 16, 2013, 02:14:06 am »
Yeah but, I wanna win the turd story telling competition.  ;D

OH OH - What have I started now.  ;D

You're on Mick, because that story was just the tip of the turd berg, I have a repertoire of schidt stories that'd make a Labor politician cringe, so bring it on! (and these stories must be genuine personal experiences, not internet story plagiarism, OK?)

Take a virtual slap across your cheeks (either end) with my imaginary glove Mick, this is a Dung Duel! Cheers, Terry. (Poo-Meister) ;D
Righto
Let the Turdorama begin.   ;D

When we were kids still going to school, we'd go camping in the Flinders Ranges in the Port Germain Gorge during the school holidays.
My Dad bought the old Bangor School in about 1963 for 100 pounds.
It was on about an acre and a quarter of land and it was a great place for us kids out in the bush.

Anyway, as time went by we got "trusted" to be there by ourselves.  ;D
So what that meant to us young lads was to develop some new tricks.

What we use to do was to get a cardboard box and then we'd all lay a big cable in it.  ;D
Next thing was to wrap the box up in some gift paper so that it looked like the real deal.

Then we'd place the Bog Box on the side of the road and patiently wait for our victim.
Along they'd come and pull up and then look around with a real sneaky look on their faces just incase anyone was watching.

Little did they know that we were hiding in the bush an holding our guts trying to silent.  ;D

So off they'd go speeding away and stop a couple of hundred yards up the road to open their present.

Then the car door would swing open with that much force that it nearly slammed shut again.  ;D

Then the Bog Box would come flying out and all we could hear were some very naughty words being yelled out as the tears of laughter ran down our cheeks.  ;D

So there's the story of the Bog Box.  ;D
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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3789 on: September 16, 2013, 03:01:36 am »
I think you and I must have had a similar upbringing Mick, my best mate at the time, Ocker Balmer and I did exactly (ex-fcuking-zactly!) the same thing, the shops in Bairnsdale (where I grew up) had a big car park in Riverine Street and therefore, there was a lot of slow moving traffic, so we had much fun with the "Turd in a shoebox" trick.

Now for an original story. When I was posted to Sydney in 1980/81, I drank on an all too regular basis at the West Ryde Hotel. Great pub, lots of bikers and babes, and always something interesting to watch, like a shooting, or a stabbing, especially when one or two of the local 1% clubs were involved. I saw the Bandido's and Comanchero's "getting it on" (not in a sexual way) only a few months before the Father's Day Massacre. Good times.

Anyway, I was drinking with my mate Tom, and a guy who was vaguely familiar came up to us and introduced himself as a driver in the Army that we both knew, who'd been thrown out for drugs a couple of years prior. I'd known him to say G'Day to, but I didn't hang out with him, and I didn't know he'd been dishonorably discharged. (For the purpose of the exercise I'll just call him Bill, I won't mention his real name just in case he's still alive, which I seriously doubt.....)

He was drinking with his mate, another ex-army guy who'd gotten out around the same time that Bill got the boot. Unlike a lot of other industries at the time, soldiers had superannuation even back then, so they'd both been given a few grand each, so they decided to drive around Oz in Bill's HX "Sandman" panel van. They'd drive all day, then sleep in the van at night, usually after around a million beers and a few joints. As it was Bill's car, the deal was that if they were lucky enough to pick up some women, Bill would sleep in the panel van, and his mate would have to seek alternative accommodation for the night.

They got up to the Gold Coast, and dropped into the North Kirra Surf Life Saving Club for some drinks. After much drinking and smoking, Bill managed to pick up a nice local girl for some nocturnal exercise. Bill's mate slept on the beach. Next morning, Bill's mate wandered back to Bill's van, and saw that the tailgate was wide open, and people were standing around laughing, or looking disgusted, or both.

What had happened, is that whilst Bill was "making love" to the local lady, he accidentally brought up his lunch, and vomited all over her. He apologised and she seemed to be accepting of his remorse, so they cleaned her and the van as best as they could, and went off to sleep. Then she waited until Bill was unconcious, straddled him, and dropped a huge "Blind Mullet" right in the middle of his naked chest. She then opened the tailgate so that everyone could admire Bill in his birthday suit, with that thing parked on his chest......... ;D     
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline petercb750

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3790 on: September 16, 2013, 03:05:47 am »
I'm staying out if this, I could never top either of those stories.
That pisses me off. ;D
1972 750/4 K2 (his), 1976 400/4 (hers)
1982 CB1100RC (ours)

Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3791 on: September 16, 2013, 04:01:55 am »
I'm staying out if this, I could never top either of those stories.
That pisses me off. ;D
There must be at least one story that you can share with us maaaate.  ;D
We won't tell anyone - promise.  ;D

What's said here stays here
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Sometimes  ;D
If I was you
I'd be worried about me.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3792 on: September 20, 2013, 03:50:21 am »
Well I'm pissed off that Mick hasn't come back with another poo story yet, I've still got another couple up my, er, sleeve? Anyone else pissed off about that? Anyone got a good poo story while we're waiting?

Anyone pissed off about anything? I'm pissed off that O'Bammy wanted to bomb Syria and Alex the Poo-tin came along and said, "Well we COULD bomb 'em, but why don't we just take all their naughty chemical weapons offa them Kom-rad?

Geez, I never thought a Ruskie could outsmart an American President, but there you go, old Poo-Tin made Bazza O'Bammy look like a war monger, which must have pissed him right off! ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3793 on: September 20, 2013, 04:34:55 am »
We were at a party one night and I can't remember if we got invited or if we invited ourselves.
It didn't matter because we just wanted to have some fun.  ;D

The host and his friends were these University turnouts who didn't fart or pick their noses in public.
And of course, if you rode a Honda 4 you were the sh1t of the earth.

Anyway, as the night progressed, everyone was getting fairly whacked and as usual a bit of agro developed.
So being the peace making fellas that we were, we had a bit of a dust up on the footpath outside.

Now that problem had been sorted out we came back inside only to be told by this host Uni sh1twit to fcuk off because we were causing too much strife. ;D

Well we tried to negotiate with him but he wasn't gonna budge.
So we left there peacefully and were standing out the front haven' a durry and beer when this idea came into my head.

The front door of the house was open so me and my mate snuck in and found this turkey's bedroom.  ;D

His bed was all nicely made with a big flash doona cover and these really nice fluffy pillows.
It was fit for a King.

Very gently, we rolled back the top covers and laid this steamy brown turd  onto the sheet and then remade the bed.  ;D

Then we wiped our arses on the pillow cases and flipped them over to hide the evidence.  ;D

To be a fly on the wall that night would've been priceless as he slipped into the cot.  ;D
Especially if he thought he was gonna score with one of the pissed sheilas.  ;D
If I was you
I'd be worried about me.

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3794 on: September 20, 2013, 05:43:51 am »
Well done Mick, I'll see your story and come right back at ya! ;D

I left school at the end of a disasterous Catholic boarding school education experience in 1975, and after a couple of dead end jobs and some drug experimentation, eventually joined the Army in 1977. Being the awesome bloke that I obviously am, I made some good friends pretty quick, and settled into a life of hard training and drunken debauchery.

I had a bit of a set on the Marist Brothers (Catholic Monks, basically) who'd tried to make my life hell, but had failed miserably. My "education" came to a crashing halt when I gave one of the "Tougher" brothers (our football coach) a couple of knuckle sandwiches one evening and sat him on his arse, and was quickly expelled. One of the happiest days in my life, if not my parent's.........

Anyway, one Saturday night one of my new mates and I found ourselves in the town where my old school still is, so I decided in my drunken stupor, that I'd give him a guided tour. Now being a boarding school, the place is never really closed and there are teachers or prefects patrolling the grounds and buildings at all hours of the day or night, but with our new found military skills, we managed to sneak into the administrative building and slip the lock on the principle's office.

I took great pleasure in trashing the office (as quietly as possible) while my mate John fired a massive sloppy diarrhoea missile into the top drawer of the Principle's antique oak desk. The stench was such that I nearly puked, but John took it in his stride, and used a nicely pressed shirt that was hanging behind the door to wipe his butt, then rehung it with the poop side facing the door so it wouldn't be discovered immediately.

On the way out I stole the Principle's cane just in case I needed a weapon during our escape, and we locked the door on our way out so hopefully it wouldn't be found until the  following Monday. Apparently our little escapade made the local newspaper, but they didn't go into all the gorey details, probably to prevent any "copycat" attacks, you wouldn't want to clean out that desk's top drawer more than once............. ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline petercb750

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3795 on: September 20, 2013, 03:13:45 pm »
You guys talk a load of sh1t. ;D

I just want to say that I am NOT pissed off..........yesterday was my last day in the salt mine and I now have a week off before I start my new job on the 30th.....you fkn beaudie!!!! ;D 8)
1972 750/4 K2 (his), 1976 400/4 (hers)
1982 CB1100RC (ours)

Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3796 on: September 20, 2013, 03:45:39 pm »
Fantastic Pete, and I hope the new job is all that it's cracked up to be. Don't forget that we could all probably benefit from some sweet insurance deals............. ;D
I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline petercb750

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3797 on: September 20, 2013, 03:48:24 pm »
Thanks mate.
I'm sure I could come up with something................. ::) ;D
1972 750/4 K2 (his), 1976 400/4 (hers)
1982 CB1100RC (ours)

Offline sohc boy

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3798 on: September 20, 2013, 04:36:03 pm »
....Fkn funny as . i cant stop laughing  ;D
i live by the voice inside my head

Offline mick7504

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Re: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.
« Reply #3799 on: September 20, 2013, 05:32:17 pm »
Hey Pete
How ya going mate.
I've still gotta send that tape & DVDs to you.
Faarkk who's a slack basrard and why am I.  ;D
Hope ya not pissed off with me mate.  ;D

I'll get that sorted Pete.
If I was you
I'd be worried about me.