Topic: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.

[Don R]

 I was enjoying a cajun seafood treat and had to relieve myself of a beer or two. I washed my hands before and after, but upon returning to the table my willy started burning. It was terrible! I swear it had red fingermarks on it later.
 Needless to say the wife woldn't get near me for a day or so.

[Terry in Australia]

That's no good Don, lucky you didn't need to wipe your arse as well mate!

TV's piss me off. Only a little over a week ago my TV blew up (well, crapped out, but "blew up" sounds better) then last night the wife's TV went out in sympathy!

Now we've always had our own TV's because she has no interest in car and bike shows, and I can't bear watching the soap opera's and English cop shows that she loves, so first thing this morning she dragged me up to the appliance store and I came out 900 bucks poorer, but with a happy wife. Looks like I won't be buying too many bike parts this month..............

[Raef]

I have been on a three day work trip, returning home I was traveling south on I-69 In a company van with the cruise set on 65 mph in a 70 mph zone. Entering FtWayne the speed reduces to 65 mph, a car passes me on the wrong side and whips over in front of me only to see the cop in the speed trap he in nearly daily, she slams on her brakes in front of me. To make this already boring story shorter, The cop pulled me over and cited me for following to close and reckless driving. I drive on average 58 k miles a year and have not been pulled over since 2/2000 and now, just like that, I am looking at losing my job and my drivers license, man I hate cops. 2 months before a got ran off the road by a guy, 2 miles up the road, with no insurance and the cop didn't cite the guy, my car was totaled  and I never got a dime, did I say how much I hate cops

[dave500]

you need a dash cam man!im a garbage truck driver and do a #$%* load of miles every day,the #$%* that i see and people will lie if theres an incident,youve every right to be pissed off!

[Terry in Australia]

WTF? That fcuking sucks mate, did you tell the cop what happened?

A few years ago I was driving at around 35 in a 60 zone, stuck behind a "Truck and Trailer" carting rocks. Because it was a single lane either side of the white line and the heavy traffic I couldn't overtake him for around 15 miles.

I finally got a chance to get past him and took off, and as I drew level, I saw a car coming in the opposite direction, so I had to speed up to around 75 to get past him. As I did so, the car in the distance put on it's flashing lights, it was an unmarked cop car.

Not only did the little turd book me for speeding, he also tried to get me for crossing double lines, because when I finally pulled up from 75 I was parked adjacent double white lines. I tried to explain that I'd only increased my speed when I saw him, and if I hadn't sped up (I couldn't drop back behind the truck as there was a heap of cars that had been stuck behind him) I would've had a "head on" with him, but he didn't care, all he said was, "whatever, you were still speeding", and handed me a 300 dollar "on the spot" fine.

Fcuk this, I wrote a letter to the clerk of courts explaining that this priick wouldn't listen to reason, I was only trying to avoid a crash, blah blah blah, and in time I got a letter back saying that they'd taken my statement into account, and had reduced the fine from 300 bucks to 250. Big fcuking deal, thinks I. On top of that they "awarded" court costs of 350 bucks agains me! Fcuk! Now I'm up for 600 bucks, I should have just bent over and taken it up the arse!

Now I hadn't even told the wife that I'd been done, let alone that I was now up for 600 bucks because I decided to defend my (otherwise excellent....) driving history. I rang the clerk of courts to question the courts decision. He said that it was correct, my fine had been reduced by 50 bucks, so I asked why I had to pay 350 in court costs? He checked on the computer and said, "Oops, that should have been 35 dollars". So the good news was that I'd saved 315 dollars, but the bad news was that (in my opinion) I shouldn't have been booked at all.

I don't hate all cops, I know some really good ones, but if I saw that little arsehole who booked me on a nice quiet road lat at night, I'd run the baastard over! Arsehole cops who just book you because they can, piss me off  

[Terry in Australia]

im a garbage truck driver

That's alright Dave, I'm a crap car driver..........

[Raef]

We didn't exchange 10 words, he ask if "I knew why I was pulled over", I sad "no" he told me. I must have turned red instantly because before I got 2 words out he just turned and walked away, when he returned he handed me the ticket and informed me "this will require a trip to court"  and walked off. Douch bag


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[Terry in Australia]

That sucks mate, go to court, be polite, but make sure that the judge understands what was going on, just being there in court will go a lot better for you than if you don't, especially if you tell him/her that you haven't been cited in 14 years, do 65000 miles per year, and really need your license to keep your job. Cheers, Terry.

[Raef]

Yea that's the plan, don't really care about the job, been a union mason for 27 years, doing industrial Maintenence "firebrick" since the economy turn south, getting pretty sick of the travel. But the driving recorded is like your credit report, let em at it and your screwed   


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[mick7504]

My youngest daughter is into this recycling thing now so that she can earn a bit more pocket money which is good.
I reckon that it's a good thing when they learn early that you have put in an effort to make a few bucks.

There's been that many times when I've lost my fencing pliers or wire cutters in the bush and they're nowhere to be found.
So for a few bucks, she'll get onto her pushbike with Charlie the Sausage Dog in tow and scour the joint until she finds 'em. 

Now she's realised that you get 10 cents from the "Can Man" for every empty beer bottle as well.
Knowing that, I'm never without a cold beer anymore but the missus smelt a rat and got up me for drinking too much piss. 

Whatever you do, you're in the sh1t.
Pisses me off. 

[dave500]

get her scavenging in skip bins and collecting copper wire,with the plastic on its around 2.40/kilo,with it off it goes near four bucks!and fetch me a beer while shes at it!burrp,im often told off about drinking beer by my wife,at least i aint a spirit drinker i tell her.

[mick7504]

That reminds now Dave, I've got a few miles of old Telstra cable down in the shed from years ago.
They pulled a new line through up our road and left the old cable wound up outside of my joint so I snavelled it. 

There's also a big mob of bare copper cable buried in the back paddock that I used as earth for the electric horse fence when I had those bitin' bastards here.

I don't mind the ol' neddys but they use to piss me off when they'd give you a quick nip on the arm. 

[trueblue]

That reminds now Dave, I've got a few miles of old Telstra cable down in the shed from years ago.
They pulled a new line through up our road and left the old cable wound up outside of my joint so I snavelled it. 

There's also a big mob of bare copper cable buried in the back paddock that I used as earth for the electric horse fence when I had those bitin' bastards here.

I don't mind the ol' neddys but they use to piss me off when they'd give you a quick nip on the arm. 

Had a four legged bag of dog food years ago, she used to nip when you took her chaff out to her.  The old lump of black poly soon stopped her.  A couple of good whaps soon settled her down.  She was the biggest #$%* of a horse I've ever had.  She would pig root everytime you tried to ride her, kick and strike out, bite and just generally be a #$%*.  I wanted to send her to the glue factory but in the end we found some sucker to take her off our hands. 

[Terry in Australia]

Samsung TV's piss me off. After waiting until almost 6pm for the wife's new 50 inch TV to get delivered it only took a few minutes to attach the stand and connect it up, and as soon as I powered it up I noticed what looked like a bright light in the bottom left corner of the screen. Poop.

As I was tuning it in, there then appeared a small black blob forming in the same corner, and as I watched it, it got larger. The wife, being braver then I, poked the "blob" with her finger and pulled it away real quick as it was hot. As we both watched on in awe, the actual plastic surround started to melt. I switched it off.

"The Good Guys" had closed by now, so I rang the Samsung help line. The operator asked me to switch it back on, but the screen wouldn't come back on at all, so he gave me a reference number and told me to call The Good Guys tomorrow, and they'll give me a new TV or a refund. I suppose I'll just get another Samsung, but the wife's not happy, and if she's not happy, we're all not happy..............

[FrankenFrankenstuff]

I keep forgetting how to do......stuff.

[FuZZie]

Hummm..... Beerzheimer's?

[faux fiddy]

Seriously Terry, whenever you handle them wear rubber gloves.  The missus made the mistake of using her bare hands while picking some of ours and got a little juice on her hand.  She said her hand felt like she had dunked it in deep heat, to make matters worse before she had realised she had the juice on her hand she scratched her nose, she had red puffy eyes, a runny nose and all the fun bits that go with chilli near the eyes, I'm just pissed off I never thought to get a photo

Thanks mate, when I took it home I had it standing up on the floor on the passenger side of the Subaru, and even with the windows open, my eyes started to water a little? I like this guy!

The Habanero Man

One time my Dad was in the kitchen and started screaming. I thought something was terribly wrong. He said he had taken a bite of one of the peppers I left on the counter.

Oh yeah, with the latex gloves you still seem to get a glow on your hands if you handle enough. And be careful not to take a piss with residue on your hands. I made that mistake before and the little fireman was pissed off about it.

[flatlander]

they have these posers here who are hired by the city from private companies, to roam the streets and hand out parking tickets, fines for dogs pooping on the sidewalk or have a word with kids smoking or drinking in the park… they don't hunt real criminals but they get to wear some sort of uniform, carry handcuffs and pepperspray, no gun. kinda like cops without balls.

so today's sort of a nice day. early spring, still chilly but sunny. i'm outside my house working on the bike. there's a paved walkway leading up to the house where i often work, neighbours park their bikes etc.
two of these tossers walk up to me, ask me how long i've been busy there today. and by the way, it's illegal to do maintenance work on a public road. and if i want to do it i'd need a permit and take safety precautions coz it could be dangerous…
i make the mistake of trying to reason with them: that it's just me and my neighbours walking there, no public traffic. that we all work on our stuff there and are totally fine with it. that there's nothing dangerous going on here. and that plenty of people fix their bicycles or wash their cars on the sidewalk. for all it's worth, i just had taken the exhaust off so the "danger" was that of a parked bike without an exhaust - must be really scary to some.
they didn't get any of that, of course. one of them gets all pissy, like he doesn't understand why i feel i need to say these things. i didn't use any foul language only expained, mind you. the "good cop" of the two says he'd let me off without a fine if i cleared away my work stuff now and remembered for next time. what a great end of an otherwise nice afternoon!
after this the two losers went on to hassle another neighbour who was unloading his car. apparently they felt they had to remind him that this was not a designated parking spot.
imagine if all you do for your work is roam the streets trying to kill time by making yourself unpopular with perfectly innocent people just going about their stuff 

went inside to tell my girlfriend about this nonsense. she just says laconically: guess that's what you get when it's starting to become a hipster area!
funnily we had just talked earlier today that it seemed like more and more hipster places were opening up in the neighbourhood, and made jokes about how we could kinda subtly make them understand that this was not that part of town. we live in the wild east of amsterdam that's always been a bit rough around the edges. nothing really bad but enough of a reputation to keep the tossers out. ok there had been a lot of squatters, unofficial businesses and even the occasional shooting or drug den but that's actually a long time ago and in those days we didn't see any of these wannabe sheriffs around and got along just fine.
anyway, if all i need to do in order to keep these fake cops busy now is work on my bike in the sun, that can't be a good thing 

[Damfino]

I keep forgetting how to do......stuff.

What kind of 'stuff', Joe? 'Franken-stuff'??

[Terry in Australia]

they have these posers here who are hired by the city from private companies, to roam the streets and hand out parking tickets, fines for dogs pooping on the sidewalk or have a word with kids smoking or drinking in the park… they don't hunt real criminals but they get to wear some sort of uniform, carry handcuffs and pepperspray, no gun. kinda like cops without balls.

so today's sort of a nice day. early spring, still chilly but sunny. i'm outside my house working on the bike. there's a paved walkway leading up to the house where i often work, neighbours park their bikes etc.
two of these tossers walk up to me, ask me how long i've been busy there today. and by the way, it's illegal to do maintenance work on a public road. and if i want to do it i'd need a permit and take safety precautions coz it could be dangerous…
i make the mistake of trying to reason with them: that it's just me and my neighbours walking there, no public traffic. that we all work on our stuff there and are totally fine with it. that there's nothing dangerous going on here. and that plenty of people fix their bicycles or wash their cars on the sidewalk. for all it's worth, i just had taken the exhaust off so the "danger" was that of a parked bike without an exhaust - must be really scary to some.
they didn't get any of that, of course. one of them gets all pissy, like he doesn't understand why i feel i need to say these things. i didn't use any foul language only expained, mind you. the "good cop" of the two says he'd let me off without a fine if i cleared away my work stuff now and remembered for next time. what a great end of an otherwise nice afternoon!
after this the two losers went on to hassle another neighbour who was unloading his car. apparently they felt they had to remind him that this was not a designated parking spot.
imagine if all you do for your work is roam the streets trying to kill time by making yourself unpopular with perfectly innocent people just going about their stuff 

went inside to tell my girlfriend about this nonsense. she just says laconically: guess that's what you get when it's starting to become a hipster area!
funnily we had just talked earlier today that it seemed like more and more hipster places were opening up in the neighbourhood, and made jokes about how we could kinda subtly make them understand that this was not that part of town. we live in the wild east of amsterdam that's always been a bit rough around the edges. nothing really bad but enough of a reputation to keep the tossers out. ok there had been a lot of squatters, unofficial businesses and even the occasional shooting or drug den but that's actually a long time ago and in those days we didn't see any of these wannabe sheriffs around and got along just fine.
anyway, if all i need to do in order to keep these fake cops busy now is work on my bike in the sun, that can't be a good thing 

That sucks mate, over here, you own your home and the land it's built on, but the sidewalk (footpath) belongs to the local council. Some councils will fine you for parking on the footpath, even though you are responsible for keeping the grass mowed etc.

I had my wife's car parked on it one day and as I'd just had a new windscreen fitted there was no registration sticker on it. I had a knock on the door, and when I opened it, there was a representative from the council asking me about the abandoned car on my footpath?

I said "What do you mean abandoned?" and he said that if it wasn't registered, it was classed as abandoned. I said that it was registered, I just replaced the windscreen and needed to get a new sticker.

He said that I'd have to park it on my own property or he'd have it towed away, so I told him that he better get off my fcuking property or I'd punch his fcuking head in, so he did. I then drove over to the Vicroads (DMV) office and got a new sticker, and parked it back on the footpath. 20 minutes later, the little council Nazi comes back, with a tow truck driver.

He asks me if I'm going to move my car, so I ask why, and he points to my windscreen, and realises that there's now a current registration sticker on it, and says, "when did you put the sticker on it?" I said, "What are you talking about?" He reminds me of our earlier conversation and I pretend that I've never seen him before and don't know what he's talking about, and he goes banana's!

The tow truck driver calls him a fcukwit and tells him that he'll send the council the bill, the little creep starts raving about how he was going to report me to the council bylaws section, I keep asking him what he's talking about, and he eventually storms off, and I never see him again, the wanker.

Puffed up little poofters who think they can exert their authority on me piss me off...............

[flatlander]

well done terry, i like your style 

it's the same here with the sidewalk. but in our case, we're at the end of a dead-end where nobody drives who doesn't have business there. then from there, you walk up to the house on a piece where car's can't drive. only people who walk there are those who live there or are visiting. while i do get why there are rules about not using public roads as an open-air workshop i certainly wasn't in anyone's way. i guess those morons got the part of the brain called "common sense" amputated.

[petercb750]

they have these posers here who are hired by the city from private companies, to roam the streets and hand out parking tickets, fines for dogs pooping on the sidewalk or have a word with kids smoking or drinking in the park… they don't hunt real criminals but they get to wear some sort of uniform, carry handcuffs and pepperspray, no gun. kinda like cops without balls.

so today's sort of a nice day. early spring, still chilly but sunny. i'm outside my house working on the bike. there's a paved walkway leading up to the house where i often work, neighbours park their bikes etc.
two of these tossers walk up to me, ask me how long i've been busy there today. and by the way, it's illegal to do maintenance work on a public road. and if i want to do it i'd need a permit and take safety precautions coz it could be dangerous…
i make the mistake of trying to reason with them: that it's just me and my neighbours walking there, no public traffic. that we all work on our stuff there and are totally fine with it. that there's nothing dangerous going on here. and that plenty of people fix their bicycles or wash their cars on the sidewalk. for all it's worth, i just had taken the exhaust off so the "danger" was that of a parked bike without an exhaust - must be really scary to some.
they didn't get any of that, of course. one of them gets all pissy, like he doesn't understand why i feel i need to say these things. i didn't use any foul language only expained, mind you. the "good cop" of the two says he'd let me off without a fine if i cleared away my work stuff now and remembered for next time. what a great end of an otherwise nice afternoon!
after this the two losers went on to hassle another neighbour who was unloading his car. apparently they felt they had to remind him that this was not a designated parking spot.
imagine if all you do for your work is roam the streets trying to kill time by making yourself unpopular with perfectly innocent people just going about their stuff 

went inside to tell my girlfriend about this nonsense. she just says laconically: guess that's what you get when it's starting to become a hipster area!
funnily we had just talked earlier today that it seemed like more and more hipster places were opening up in the neighbourhood, and made jokes about how we could kinda subtly make them understand that this was not that part of town. we live in the wild east of amsterdam that's always been a bit rough around the edges. nothing really bad but enough of a reputation to keep the tossers out. ok there had been a lot of squatters, unofficial businesses and even the occasional shooting or drug den but that's actually a long time ago and in those days we didn't see any of these wannabe sheriffs around and got along just fine.
anyway, if all i need to do in order to keep these fake cops busy now is work on my bike in the sun, that can't be a good thing 

That sucks mate, over here, you own your home and the land it's built on, but the sidewalk (footpath) belongs to the local council. Some councils will fine you for parking on the footpath, even though you are responsible for keeping the grass mowed etc.

I had my wife's car parked on it one day and as I'd just had a new windscreen fitted there was no registration sticker on it. I had a knock on the door, and when I opened it, there was a representative from the council asking me about the abandoned car on my footpath?

I said "What do you mean abandoned?" and he said that if it wasn't registered, it was classed as abandoned. I said that it was registered, I just replaced the windscreen and needed to get a new sticker.

He said that I'd have to park it on my own property or he'd have it towed away, so I told him that he better get off my fcuking property or I'd punch his fcuking head in, so he did. I then drove over to the Vicroads (DMV) office and got a new sticker, and parked it back on the footpath. 20 minutes later, the little council Nazi comes back, with a tow truck driver.

He asks me if I'm going to move my car, so I ask why, and he points to my windscreen, and realises that there's now a current registration sticker on it, and says, "when did you put the sticker on it?" I said, "What are you talking about?" He reminds me of our earlier conversation and I pretend that I've never seen him before and don't know what he's talking about, and he goes banana's!

The tow truck driver calls him a fcukwit and tells him that he'll send the council the bill, the little creep starts raving about how he was going to report me to the council bylaws section, I keep asking him what he's talking about, and he eventually storms off, and I never see him again, the wanker.

Puffed up little poofters who think they can exert their authority on me piss me off...............

Gold   

[dave500]

years ago a mate of mine got his car clamped(hes plumbing ute with oxy/acet gear) in a private car park and caught the guy as he was putting it on,hes got a sweeney cockney accent and told him im not in the mood and to get it off now,the guy didnt want to so he just fired up the oxy set in the back and said get it the #$%* off or ill cut it off then cut you in half aswell,it came off then,you gotta fight fire with fire?

[AJK]

Terry, thats a classic.

The world has gone mad hasn't it. He was probably trying to justify getting payed that day by getting you on the sticker. People like this are parasitic & are a burden on the general public. Just another mosquito. Petty jobs for non-humans. I guess he's still sleeping well at night though. Be nice if he had a skill of some sort and actually contributed to humanity though.

PS: You don't have to mow your footpath. You can let it grow into a hedge. Its theirs remember. I know some older folk who havn't mowed their footpath in years & wait for the local council to do it (which is probably about once a year).

[Retro Rocket]

Terry, thats a classic.

The world has gone mad hasn't it. He was probably trying to justify getting payed that day by getting you on the sticker. People like this are parasitic & are a burden on the general public. Just another mosquito. Petty jobs for non-humans. I guess he's still sleeping well at night though. Be nice if he had a skill of some sort and actually contributed to humanity though.

PS: You don't have to mow your footpath. You can let it grow into a hedge. Its theirs remember. I know some older folk who havn't mowed their footpath in years & wait for the local council to do it (which is probably about once a year).

I know a bloke in The Redlands {south of Brisbane} that was threatened with a fine for parking on the front part of his driveway, even though he paid for the concrete it is still part of the council owned footpath. He wrote a very long detailed letter to the council and told them the land was theirs then they can maintain it, after about 3 months the council started mowing it and have done so ever since.....Power happy little germs with nothing better to do.....