Topic: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.

[dave500]

it was named after some #$%* whos surname was towns,too bad his name wasn't mr retard,retardville is perfect.

[mick7504]

Fcuk mate.
It sounds very similar to Darwin.
It's been fcuking mongrol hot here and the aircons have been redlining for christ knows how long now.

Can't wait for the next power bill.
I reckon that I'll have to ring the ANZ and apply for a fcuken bridgeing mortgage to pay for the #$%*.

It pissed down here last night and this morning.
Big mobs of it.
Now the fcuking grass is growing again already.

The last time that I was in Townsville with the Darwin lads was 23 years ago, and we've never been invited back there again after we drank 'em under the table and ate all of their tucker.

They never got over that and are still pissed off about it. 

[trueblue]

Fcuk mate.
It sounds very similar to Darwin.
It's been fcuking mongrol hot here and the aircons have been redlining for christ knows how long now.

Can't wait for the next power bill.
I reckon that I'll have to ring the ANZ and apply for a fcuken bridgeing mortgage to pay for the #$%*.

It pissed down here last night and this morning.
Big mobs of it.
Now the fcuking grass is growing again already.

The last time that I was in Townsville with the Darwin lads was 23 years ago, and we've never been invited back there again after we drank 'em under the table and ate all of their tucker.

They never got over that and are still pissed off about it. 

Mick, send some of them monsoons down here, we have had #$%* all rain for nigh on 6 months.  We have had just enough to stop the place turning to dust.  The grass has been dead since early October, except for a few days after every shower of rain. 

[mick7504]

The bloody rains been a bit slow coming on this year mate.
We've had a few thunderstorms but they've just been poofta ones.

I reckon that the monsoon will kick in towards the end of the year.
Every year it changes depending on the El Nino and La Nina effect.
When the ocean currents travel across from Peru, we generally get a good blast of Monsoonal/Cyclonic weather.

It was a good downpour here last night and Death Valley is starting to green up again.
You just can't beat that rainfall to do the trick in the garden.
They reckon that it's the Nitrogen in the rain but I'm fcuked if I know and that pisses me off. 

[Terry in Australia]

Well I'm back, and have thought of a few other things not needed in Townsville:

Dickhead bar staff who ask, "Would you like a glass of ice with your cider?" Of fcuking course I want a glass of ice mate, or else it'll fcuking evaporate in the fcuking bottle!

Townsville drivers. Useless crunts driving schitty old 4 wheel drives at 10 KPH under the speed limit on every highway, I drove up to Cowley Beach on Tuesday and spent half my time overtaking these retards.

5 metre long (16 and a half feet long) Crocodiles sneaking around in the city's creeks and waterways, I drove past a group of Abo's who'd set up a little shanty town on the side of a creek a couple of miles from the CBD, and I thought they should have put up a sign reading "Live Bait"..............

Locals complaining about how hot it is. If it's too hot for them, what fcuking hope have I got? Fcuk it's hot...........

Hire car companies that don't supply GPS units. Fcuk me, isn't Townsville some sort of holiday destination, (probably for pedophiles, to get them used to the heat before they finish up in hell, which is probably cooler than Townsville anyway) which leads one to assume that the people hiring their cars are not familiar with the area? I eventually found a "Dick Smith" shop and bought a cheap Navman, the same one that Thrifty supplies at every other outlet, except the one in Townsville..........

Ooher, I better wash my soggy bag of washing, then it's lunchtime, and one good thing is that the food in the hotel is excellent, so I'm off for a big fat steak and a couple of coldies before I drive over to my brother's place. He's not talking to my sister at the moment, so I have to drive down to her place at Airlie Beach tomorrow for lunch. Families piss me off............. Cheers, Terry.

[750cafe]

Families piss me off.............
Cheers, Terry.

Ben Franklin was the intelligent gentleman that said that "fish and family both begin to stink in three days". True enough!  LOL!
Good to see that you are at least eating well Terry. 


Eric

[dave500]

watch the stingers as well terry,they come out of the tap!dont let any mozzies bite you or youll get sick and die.

[faux fiddy]

Families piss me off.............
Cheers, Terry.

Ben Franklin was the intelligent gentleman that said that "fish and family both begin to stink in three days". True enough!  LOL! 


Eric

Mom had that in Latin on an ash tray. My uncle came to stay for a week and he said he would find the translation for her. Oops.

[Terry in Australia]

watch the stingers as well terry,they come out of the tap!dont let any mozzies bite you or youll get sick and die.

Fark! I wish I'd read your post a couple of hours ago Dave, with luck Heaven will be around 70 deg F with no more than 50% humidity.........

[mick7504]

Well, the day started off with all good intentions until I got out of bed this morning.
So after a cup of coffee and some toast and vegemite for brekky, I headed down to the shed for some productivity.

Only to be greeted by 10 million fcuking meat ants that have appeared since the rain has started.
The fcukas were everywhere.
Well that sorta stuffed up the plans for an early start.
Then only to find that there was no #$%*ing ant spray left and be buggered if I was going for a trip up to Bunnings to get some more.
Righto you bastards, out with the petrol and we'll see how ya like that.
Jobs right. 



Then I fired up the John Deere Ride On mower and there was this screaming noise coming from underneath, so I shut her down, pulled the cutting deck out and found one of the idler pulley bearings seized with a fcuked pulley and the fcuking cutting deck had a fatigue fracture through it which made me feel like crackin'  a fat.
OK, guess we're not mowing today.



Ok, lets have a go at the compressor with the new single phase motor and see how that goes.
No worries, she's pumping the air tank up like nobody's business and straight away, I was starting to feel un pissed off. 
Until it got to 95psi and the fcuken drive belt flew across the workshop.



Well, I'll fix you ya fcuken poofta, so I made up up a jigga to put some more tension on the belt and guide it which turned out to be a waste of valuable drinking time.
The bloody belt kept flying off and by then, it was time to take a walk. 



One thing that I do like is lighting fires. 
So now that we've had a few good downpours, I chucked a match in the palm frond pile down in the back paddock and up she went.
You beauty, then all of a sudden, this fcuken bandicoot came hi tailing out with a hot arse.
Well that made my day because I reckon that it was the sneaky fcuka that's been chewing on the tomato bushes and hiding from Charlie. 

[petercb750]

Great bandicoot balls of fire. ...hopefully he's #$%*ed off for good.
Sounds like you had one of those days mate.

We're getting ready to put the house on the market, so I spent the day raking leaves and gravel paths and washing fkn windows. .....cleaning windows pisses me off.

[mick7504]

Are you going to stay in Victor H Pete?
I keep saying that I'll put this joint on the market.
Lifes good here but the maintnance and upkeep is wearing thin.
Only trouble is that I'd be the neighbour from hell if I moved to suburbia.

Ya just can't beat the bush and it's good for the kids. 

[petercb750]

Doing what I never thought I'd do Mick, going back to the big smoke.
Lots of reasons, but it's all good, positive stuff.
The 160km round trip to work each day has a bit to do with it. ....I find all I'm doing is coming home to sleep. The mrs might sell her business down here, so she's happy to do the big commute until that happens, I've done it for the last 14mths.
Moving pisses me off, but it's for the right reasons. Plus it'll put me closer to the hills roads 

[mick7504]

Best wishes whatever you do Pete.
My brother lives at Woodcroft and sister at Aldgate.
I could probably sort of handle that but you need some breathing space.

[750cafe]

Well, the day started off with all good intentions until I got out of bed this morning.
So after a cup of coffee and some toast and vegemite for brekky, I headed down to the shed for some productivity.

Only to be greeted by 10 million fcuking meat ants that have appeared since the rain has started.
The fcukas were everywhere.
Well that sorta stuffed up the plans for an early start.
Then only to find that there was no #$%*ing ant spray left and be buggered if I was going for a trip up to Bunnings to get some more.
Righto you bastards, out with the petrol and we'll see how ya like that.
Jobs right. 

Then I fired up the John Deere Ride On mower and there was this screaming noise coming from underneath, so I shut her down, pulled the cutting deck out and found one of the idler pulley bearings seized with a fcuked pulley and the fcuking cutting deck had a fatigue fracture through it which made me feel like crackin'  a fat.
OK, guess we're not mowing today.

Ok, lets have a go at the compressor with the new single phase motor and see how that goes.
No worries, she's pumping the air tank up like nobody's business and straight away, I was starting to feel un pissed off. 
Until it got to 95psi and the fcuken drive belt flew across the workshop.

Well, I'll fix you ya fcuken poofta, so I made up up a jigga to put some more tension on the belt and guide it which turned out to be a waste of valuable drinking time.
The bloody belt kept flying off and by then, it was time to take a walk. 

One thing that I do like is lighting fires. 
So now that we've had a few good downpours, I chucked a match in the palm frond pile down in the back paddock and up she went.
You beauty, then all of a sudden, this fcuken bandicoot came hi tailing out with a hot arse.
Well that made my day because I reckon that it was the sneaky fcuka that's been chewing on the tomato bushes and hiding from Charlie.  \

Some days, you just wish that you had stayed in bed.    Perhaps the happy ending is that you will now have tomatoes!   

Eric

[Ravie]

Tags are due on the truck. Tomorrow I am driving an "illegal" vehicle. Got til Wed til I have enough money or a day off to get them so hopefully I don't get a 160 dollar ticket between now and then. Got one a few years ago, would rather not do that again. Ugh.

[Duke McDukiedook]

I have somehow attained that golden age where whenever I #$%* I usually have to wash my ass afterwards or else my bunghole gets chapped and pissed at me. Doesn't matter if it is the driest turd or pebble #$%*, have to wash. A bidet would help, my next house will have one dammit.

That pisses me off.
 

[demon78]

You to triple D What can I say it's a bummer and you know why it's the Golden Age because you piss your self all the time.
Bill the demon.

[Duke McDukiedook]

I have noticed my underdrawers have gotten yellower up front and browner in the back over time.
Never used to have that problem unless it was taco Tuesday with extra diablo sauce.

[vfourfreak]

I have noticed my underdrawers have gotten yellower up front and browner in the back over time.
Never used to have that problem unless it was taco Tuesday with extra diablo sauce.

Paddy went to his doctor feeling terrible in general. The doctor examined his file and found to his horror that the last full check up Paddy had was 10 years previously when he was a young stripling of 60 yrs. Dear me said the doc, you ought to be having more regular check ups Paddy, I'd be worried about diabetes and colon cancer. Here he says handing him a small kidney dish and a jar, go into the next room and I need you to come back with a sample of your urine and faeces. Ah jaysus Doc says Paddy, I'll just give you me underdrawers.

Kev

[martin99]

Glad to see we're finally having a sophisticated discussion in this thread

Another anomaly I have noticed as the years have passed, is the amount of pubic hairs left behind in the toilet bowl after sitting for a while, sometimes with the minimum of rummaging too!

Usually the first flush will dispose of them, but I generally find one or two clinging stubbornly to the rim above where the water can't reach. In this situation I have to wait until I need to pee again (that's not a long wait either) when I can return and...

wait for it...

Piss them off

[bear]

Stop sooking ya barstards.
At least ya don't have to stick a hose down the eye of your oldfella four times a day.
That "pisses me off".

Cheers,
Brian

[rb550four]

Hey, How old do ya have to be before all this sh1t happens?
 I'm in a 56 year old body with a 38 year old mind,still commando, tell me I'm safe until the 70's, please.
 Where can I download the manual for this vintage body and find out about all the rest of the parts that wear out before the power plant quits.
How come we always have to learn stuff this way ? It's like learning about sex from your older friends when you were 13....4 years before sex ed. in school, which was  at least  2 years too late  in my neck of the woods.
 Just the thought of this being the norm that I can look forward to, is a kind of pissin me off.

[mick7504]

A mate of mine has been wheelchair bound for 40 years now after a motorbike smash that left him a paraplegic.
Anyway, he's got one of those colostomy bags that he reckons is a fcuking fashion accessory. 
As Monty Python (Life of Brian) said, always look on the bright side of life. 

[demon78]

Yeah I think we'd all better talk to management about the crappy documentation #$%* the engineering orders have had so many revisions and are so out of date that they are useless, what kind of chicken #$%* outfit is this any way I mean a plague of locusts how does that relate to the here and now are they Mark 1 or are they Mark 5's?. What a crappy way to run a world I bet that up there/headquarters is not run that way Methuselah lived 900 years, thrilling that's before they hung all the mods on him.
Any how it would be nice if there was a manual.
Bill the demon.