Topic: Let it all hang out,tell us how you really feel and what pisses you off.

[Terry in Australia]

Ha ha, well there you go Mick, the logistics of deceit are quite often difficult to coordinate, but I pride myself on stealthy motorcycle purchases, and in this case, the stars have aligned, and everything's falling into place.

The money's come from untraceable sources that the wife isn't aware of, and Cliff (maduncle) has volunteered to collect it from the bike shop in Melbourne and deliver it to Canberra in his ute, so all going well, it'll be another perfect crime..........  
 

[mick7504]

The perfect crime is an understatement mate.
Better give me Uncle Cliffs phone number.
I'm liking the sound of this. 

[Terry in Australia]

Well I was so excited about my latest motorcycle purchase that I forgot to relay my latest adventure in this eminent tome of pissedoffiness.

On Friday I knocked off work (pissed off early) at midday, and just for a change, drove direct to Bairnsdale (my home town) to visit my mum and finish off the BMW R1200C fuel tank I've been de-rusting and replacing the fuel pump assembly, etc. The lady owner had paid my cousin for the work, so I needed to get the tank reassembled and back to her.

Instead of driving to Melbourne then on to Bairnsdale, I elected to drive through Cooma, Bombala, Cann River, Orbost, then on to Bairnsdale. The only problem was, I missed the turnoff to Bombala, but as Bega was only another 60 Kms (35 miles) from the Bombala turnoff, I decided to continue on, as I was enjoying the drive, and another hour or so wouldn't mess with my loose itinery.

What I wasn't aware of, was a down hill stretch that made the "Dragons Tail" look like a 3 lane highway. Fark! Seriously, the mass of 15 MPH corners would have made Valentino Rossi schidt himself, and by the time I was halfway down the mountain the brakes on my little Subaru were cooked, and non functional. It was like the disc pads were self lubricating, the harder I pushed the brake pedal, the faster I went!

It's got an auto transmission, so all I could do was use the "Lock" button which apparently locks the transmission in second gear for driving in snow, and I used the handbrake (which has an expanding drum within the rear discs) which, while I couldn't actually stop, retarded my manic progress ever so slightly.

When I arrived in Bairnsdale my older sister and my cuz came over with some Chinese takeaway, and when I told them about my adventure my mum said she thought that place was called "Brown Mountain" which I assumed referred to the "Brown Mountain" I'd deposited in my trousers when I was sailing thru the corners at twice or three times the posted speed, with no farking brakes! Luckily for me there was little traffic, or I would definitely have either collected someone, or gone off the sheer drops on the other side.

The rest of the drive was uneventful, and it was a bit of a trip down memory lane driving thru Eden where I spent several camping holidays with my family back in the 1960's and early 1970's, the place really hasn't changed much, the "Garden of Eden" camp park is still there and still operating, and the main street doesn't look any different after almost 50 years, amazing.

So apart from almost killing myself, (which pissed me off, if I do ever kill myself, I want it to be on purpose, and preferably whilst banging a supermodel when I'm in my 90's) it wasn't a bad drive, although I won't be doing it again any time soon...............          

[Demon67]

I think Terry, it's at the century and a massive heart attack on the glory stroke.After all there are standards.
Bill the demon.

[seanbarney41]

Terry, it pisses me off that I know you won't listen when I tell you how crappy your most recent motorcycle purchase is.  But hey, congrats.  I know you wanted that #$%* box for a long time.

[Demon67]

OK Terry, Mick etc. What's going on with Abbot?

[Retro Rocket]

OK Terry, Mick etc. What's going on with Abbot?

He's gone, the most incompetent PM in Australia's history is gone, best thing to happen to the Liberal party in years, no more brainless three word slogans and combative politics, the liar never got out of opposition mode....

[Terry in Australia]

Geez, Abbott more incompetent than Rudd/Gillard? That's a big call........ Poor old Electricity Bill is sharting himself now though, he thought he was a sure bet for the next election, but now he's not so sure...........

[mick7504]

Malcolm Turnbull will be sworn in as the new Prime Minister today Bill.
I think that a few changes at the top and a new direction will be on the menu.
Big Tony's probably feeling a bit pissed off this morning. 

[Demon67]

Jesus guys I thought your system was about the same as ours if someone can replace a sitting PM that must make it more interesting..
Bill the demon.

[petercb750]

You have to laugh, Turnbull. ...I do not want the job, I am not interested, Abbott is our leader and will stay that way.....oh ok then, I'll do it. FFS. can't trust or believe any of them. How many PM changes in the last 5 years with how many elections? What a farce.
But I am grateful for one thing. ...it's given me something to be pissed off about....apart from going to the rolls royce driving dentist again today. 

[Retro Rocket]

Far more incompetent than the previous Government, the only reason Abbott got in was due to the shear amount of lies he told, everything he said was bull#$%*, Gillard and Rudd ran the country FAR BETTER than this idiot, passed far more legislation, due to being better negotiators and were lauded by the worlds monetary experts for their handling of the GFC, we cam out of it with the second LOWEST debt in free market world,  it was the #$%*y infighting and back stabbing that killed Gillard and Rudd,  and they deserved it. Go to the Federal governments own website and look at the balance of trade figures, the debt to GDP ratio and where spending was headed at the time of the last election, it would be nice to see some facts here. Every monetary indicator now,  is worse by a long way compared to when the last government was in, and Abbott and Eleventy Joe didn't have a GFC to contend with, blind ideological bullsh1t and no idea how to run the country is what got them sacked.... If Howard hadn't had spent 380 billion from the mining boom trying to buy the electorate with unnecessary tax cuts , Gillard and Rudd would have had it easy, that would be something to crow about,  but as it is with Liberal governments in Australia, Howard left us with a massive structural deficit and had to sell off Telstra to get a very small surplus that the right in this country constantly rave on about. Its a pity more people didn't know a bit more about politics and didn't get their information from right wing rubbish commentators and newspapers....  Shorten will be the next to go.... Politics in Australia at this point in time, is a complete joke...

[Terry in Australia]

Anyhoo........... 

So as not to have this wonderful thread shut down due to the confusing political rants of my learned colleagues, I'll think of something else that pisses me off. Oooh, I've just thought of one! Gas suppliers! I switched to Simply Energy a couple of years ago because AGL sucks balls, anyway, I'd been happy with them right up until this week when I received an "overdue account reminder".

Hmmmmnnn, that's strange, I thought to myself, I paid that fcuking account early, so as to receive the $91.71 "Pay on Time" discount? I checked the old compuker, and sure enough, I paid it as soon as I received it, 6 days before it was due! Interestingly enough, the "unpaid" portion was the equivalent to the discount. WTF?

I rang SE, and spoke (surprisingly) to an Aussie woman who was most apologetic, she confirmed that I'd paid the bill early and promised to waive the overdue amount. Lucky for her too, I'd only been waiting 7 fcuking minutes while some boring krunt told me repeatedly how fcuking lucky I was to have chosen Simply Fcuking Energy to provide my energy needs, and I was ready to rip her a new one if she stepped out of line, I'm extra brave at the other end of a telephone, dontchaallknow?.

Afterwards, during a period of naval gazing, I couldn't help but wonder if this was some bourgeois plot by the ruling elite to further grind the working man down? Sending out gas accounts offering discounts at short notice so that most of us poor "sons of toil" don't have the wherewithal to sell an organ in time to pay their massive bills before the due date, and hence, the inability to take advantage of their pitiful discounts? It's enough to make a man openly weep into his glass of Chivas..........

[mick7504]

Well, we paid our last respects to our mate Burgy today who passed away a bit over a week ago.

Funeral services are always a very sombre occasion although we were given an opportunity to publicly speak about some of our escapades from years gone by that brought quite a bit of laughter amongst the tears.

As we found out afterwards, Burgys wife Wendy, was completely oblivious to our stories that were told at the service and rather surprised that her "Blued Eyed Husband" had been such a naughty boy (with the assistance of his mates) preceeding their marriage.

But it was all good and we said goodbye to our 'ol mate who had a hard shell and a big heart of gold.

One thing that Burgy loved, was cutting things in half with detonating fuse (Cordex)
A long time ago, Burgy scored a barrel off the back of a cement truck and decided that he wanted to make a couple of big pot plant holders for the backyard.

So out came the Cordex and BOOOOM.
No worries, the job was right but, after the rocks and dust had settled, the neighbours joint had fcucking holes all through the side of their fibro/cement sheet house.
But Burgy did the right thing and fixed it up.

Farewell mate.

[petercb750]

Yeh, as you get older Mick you start going to more and more funerals as those around you drop off....it pays to not think about it too much. But funerals where friends and good times are remembered with a few laughs are winners compared with everyone feeling depressed and sorry for themselves. ...you'd swear that sometimes people act like it's all about them, and not the old mate in the box....and that pisses me off.
Hope Burgy has a good trip.

[Terry in Australia]

Yep, I remember back in 2009 when my uncle died, we were at the cemetary after the funeral and my dopey mate Dobbo said to my dad, "Hey Jim, you must know more people below the ground than you do above it?" Well it knocked the wind out of Dad, he'd just lost his childhood mate and was obviously thinking about his own mortality, I felt like kicking Dobbo's arse. I didn't though, belting someone at a funeral tends to piss the families of the bereaved family off.............

[Terry in Australia]

I've been thinking about this all week. I'm staying in a nice hotel, but the lift is made by a company called "Schindler". Schindler's Lift? Is this some sort of insensitive play on words? If I was a 4 x 2, I'd be pissed off!

[petercb750]

I've been thinking about this all week. I'm staying in a nice hotel, but the lift is made by a company called "Schindler". Schindler's Lift? Is this some sort of insensitive play on words? If I was a 4 x 2, I'd be pissed off!

Haha, nice one Tez 

[Terry in Australia]

Thanks Pete, where is everyone, too pissed off to come here for a whine?

Technology continues to piss me off. Both my cars that I regularly drive (Rally Roo and Ford Exploder) were built in the 1990's, and (although the Ford also has a CD stacker under the rear seat) they both have cassette players. Ah, cassettes, what wonderful devices they are, mini "reel to reel" tapes that contain some of the greatest music known to man.

I have heaps of them, from Jimmy Barnes' "Barnstorming" to "The Doors Live", to Cat Steven's "Tea for the Tillerman", "Peter Frampton Live" and my favourite, "War of the Worlds", narrated by Richard Burton, with David Essex, Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy) and Julie Covington, (Don't cry for me, Argentina) to name but a few. 

When I bought the Rally Roo I actually bought a CD player for it, but then when I started driving to and from Canberra each weekend I rediscovered my dusty collection of cassettes (I'd been driving company vehicles for the last 12 years so only had the option of listening to the radio or a few CD's that I've amassed) and my love of my cassette collection came back, with a vengeance, so the new Alpine CD player went into the garage. I think I've done 4 or 5 return trips now, so that's around 65 hours of listening to music, and well, I've just about gone thru every cassette that I own.

I got so desperate, I bought someone else's cassette collection on eBay, (around 30 tapes) and surprisingly they had pretty good taste, most of the titles are ones that I've previously owned and loaned, (the main source of my missing cassettes, apart from leaving them in the player when I've traded in a car, or the tape breaking on my well used titles) or would have bought eventually.

Anyway, for fathers day, my boys bought me a Pioneer CD player, and a JB Hifi gift card. As much as I love both my sons, this gift is next to useless, the CD player is out in the garage sitting next to the Alpine CD player, and as I can't buy new cassettes anymore, the gift card's not going anywhere either................      

[mick7504]

The fcuking Auditors will be here this coming Tuesday and Wednesday and I haven't been able to crack a fat about that.

All of this over regulation just makes you wanna suck ya sh1t to a point and stab yourself in the eye.

Yesterday, I had a young fella on work experience with me for the day.
So we sat down and had a bit of a chin wag and the poor bastard was that fcuken nervous about what he should and shouldn't be doing because of this horse sh1t that's been drilled into his head.

He was good and keen young lad and I told him that the most important thing to keep in mind is to never put your finger where you wouldn't put your prick.

Well that put a big grin on his pimply, bum fluff face and he got stuck into a good days work, even if he was covered in diesel engine oil from arsehole to breakfast time at knock off.

Auditors piss me off and this over fcuking regulation pisses me off as well.
But that's the world today.
And that pisses me off too. 

[mick7504]

Thanks Pete, where is everyone, too pissed off to come here for a whine?

Technology continues to piss me off. Both my cars that I regularly drive (Rally Roo and Ford Exploder) were built in the 1990's, and (although the Ford also has a CD stacker under the rear seat) they both have cassette players. Ah, cassettes, what wonderful devices they are, mini "reel to reel" tapes that contain some of the greatest music known to man.

I have heaps of them, from Jimmy Barnes' "Barnstorming" to "The Doors Live", to Cat Steven's "Tea for the Tillerman", "Peter Frampton Live" and my favourite, "War of the Worlds", narrated by Richard Burton, with David Essex, Phil Lynott (Thin Lizzy) and Julie Covington, (Don't cry for me, Argentina) to name but a few. 

When I bought the Rally Roo I actually bought a CD player for it, but then when I started driving to and from Canberra each weekend I rediscovered my dusty collection of cassettes (I'd been driving company vehicles for the last 12 years so only had the option of listening to the radio or a few CD's that I've amassed) and my love of my cassette collection came back, with a vengeance, so the new Alpine CD player went into the garage. I think I've done 4 or 5 return trips now, so that's around 65 hours of listening to music, and well, I've just about gone thru every cassette that I own.

I got so desperate, I bought someone else's cassette collection on eBay, (around 30 tapes) and surprisingly they had pretty good taste, most of the titles are ones that I've previously owned and loaned, (the main source of my missing cassettes, apart from leaving them in the player when I've traded in a car, or the tape breaking on my well used titles) or would have bought eventually.

Anyway, for fathers day, my boys bought me a Pioneer CD player, and a JB Hifi gift card. As much as I love both my sons, this gift is next to useless, the CD player is out in the garage sitting next to the Alpine CD player, and as I can't buy new cassettes anymore, the gift card's not going anywhere either................      

Mate, I reckon that I must have over five and a half fcuking thousand songs that were illegally downloaded from Napster, Audio Galaxy and Lime Wire.
This all started back in the day when when the ol' 56K dial up modem was the Rolls Royce of cyberspace.

Now there's a few beauties there.
Marty Robbins - A White Sports Coat and a Pink Carnation
Lonny  Donnegan - My ol' Mans a Dustman
Lloyd Price - Personality

There's heaps more from the 50's and 60' and through until probably 2000 or somewhere around there until this fcuken poofta music started.

I used to make a CD every Easter just because, and we'd sit out in the bush with the CD player around a camp fire and sing and drink until we fell off our logs. 

[Terry in Australia]

That sounds like a great way to spend an Easter Mick, my favourite Easters were spent at Mount Panorama, sitting around a fire drinking piss and taking in the sights and sounds of what was Australia's greatest annual motorcycle event, eventually stolen from us by the NSW Police (the best cops that money could buy, back in the day) and the fcuking media who set the boys up, and then filmed the "carnage".

It sold lots of newspapers and advertising time on channel 7, but fcuked my Easters when it disappeared up it's own arse after 1987, when the crowds dropped away to nothing. Jeez, I wasn't pissed off until I remembered how much I enjoyed riding up to Bathurst every Easter, and never on the same bike.............

[mick7504]

Easter has always been a gamble up North with the weather Terry.
But it's always been good.

The kids love the bush so long as they've got a dry nest to sleep in and a wood fired barbeque to cook the tucker on.

The ol' mate Big Merv religiously brings his Dan Wesson .44 (Uncle Dan) with him and shoots the sh1t out of empty beer cans.
Big Merv does his own reloading and the sneaky fcuka occasionally sneaks a hot load into the chamber which fcuks up your arm.
Trying to lift a cold beer up to your mouth was fcuking painfull.

So to pay him back, we bought a pair of sheilas black knickers from Target and put them into his glove box.
Eventually, his missus found them and I don't think that any further explaining is required.

Big Merv was pissed off and he doesn't sneak hot loads into Uncle Dan anymore. 

[Terry in Australia]

Ha ha, that reminds me of when the missus thrust a condom at me with a "What's this?!!" look on her face about 15 years ago. I knew nothing about it, apparently it had fallen out of the washing machine, and, as we didn't use them, she assumed that I was banging someone else. Eventually my oldest son admitted that it was his (which it was) and I was forgiven. I was a tad pissed off, as I couldn't think what I'd actually done wrong?

[calj737]

Sort of a, "If you have to ask, its easier to show you" moment, eh Terry?