Topic: Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?,

[70CB750]

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges at you...

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
What is a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP?
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Is he really a terrorist? Am I guilty of profiling?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint & weed day.
Can we make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
This is all so confusing!


Republican's Answer:
BANG!


Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG ! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Click

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!' 'Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?!

Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'

Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

[mono]

Bwahahaha!!!      

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[Roach Carver]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[SGTBob]

PERFECT!!!   

[MoMo]

kind of political but to the point....Larry

[Retro Rocket]

kind of political but to the point....Larry

Really...

The first answer "D" is from a dumb arse, thats all, and after listening to all the right wing, religious, back flipping dribble from the "other party" recently, i mean really !!  If i started quoting the last "R" dumb arse that "owned" your country you all would run away and hide, ashamed and embarrassed.... Another poorly disguised political post that no longer belongs here..... You guys are too funny.... 

[Roach Carver]

I havent seen you policing the other threads like the pissed off thread with your extensive knowledge of our politicians and political system. I know nothing about your government down under and honestly its of no consequence to me. I dont live there or vote there, therefore I really have no say. I have seen many liberal stabs here and there on this forum and said nothing. Its a joke, its in the humor section. Maybe its time to lighten up a little bit. Especially since you dont have a dog in this hunt as we say here.

[Retro Rocket]

The whole world has a dog in the fight {hunt} mate, look what the last Government did to the rest of the world....
Funny thing is that most of the rest of the world is educated on the American system, America in general could do well by knowing how the "rest of the world" operates and how its decisions effect everyone else..... Just a side note, most Aussies in general know as much about your system as you or I do, we are educated internationally here, there's a lot more to the world than any singular country...

Maybe its time to lighten up a little bit

I could say the same exact thing about this thread mate as it was aimed at making fun of the "D" side of politics and going on forum rules, probably shouldn't have been posted in the first place, humor or not, its political... Policing is for the mods, opinions are for its members....

[Roach Carver]

So you live on the other side if the world and you know as much as I do about my government? What my local, state and federal government are up to? Come on man... There have been plenty of right wing jokes and I didnt complain about it nor did I see anyone else. I didnt get my feelers hurt either. Anyway, I just want to go back to looking at motorcycles and quit worrying about politicians in general. You guys are welcome to them all, liberal and conservative. Btw what you see on the good ole t.v. isnt reality here or there.

[70CB750]

ROFLMAO - so this joke is offensive for Australians?  Now thats hilarious.

[Retro Rocket]

Hey, no problems, no hurt feelings as you put it...We were talking Fed here mate and yes, we all know lots about your federal government and its policies both domestic and international,  i don't need to know any local government laws or by laws, they don't effect anyone outside your country,  i didn't get my education from TV either, the world financial crisis wasn't made up by the news channels......  We have a completely different system of education here.... I actually like discussing politics as i am interested in it from a civilian point of view, its just hard to talk about without the sh1t hitting the fan....

I'm not offended by it at all i just saw the irony in the right leaning motives behind it... {untruths} Typical...

It doesn't really matter anyway because humor or not, its still political and i expect it will be locked anyway....

[Roach Carver]

Well, I actually dont want to discuss it. Its a volatile subject right now in the states ( or as Terry put it "Divided States of Embarrassment"). As far as "untruths", that comes from both sides and its far more than typical.  Both parties will say and do whatever they think will keep them in power.

Anyway, I got a good laugh out of this one so thanks to the original poster.

[Roach Carver]

Also, who is this roy guy and does he only hang out in the humor section? Is he testing out material on us?

[MoMo]

kind of political but to the point....Larry

Really...

The first answer "D" is from a dumb arse, thats all, and after listening to all the right wing, religious, back flipping dribble from the "other party" recently, i mean really !!  If i started quoting the last "R" dumb arse that "owned" your country you all would run away and hide, ashamed and embarrassed.... Another poorly disguised political post that no longer belongs here..... You guys are too funny.... 

No comment , other than it is always nice to be insulted.  Thanks Mick...Larry

[70CB750]

Hey, no problems, no hurt feelings as you put it...We were talking Fed here mate and yes, we all know lots about your federal government and its policies both domestic and international,  i don't need to know any local government laws or by laws, they don't effect anyone outside your country,  i didn't get my education from TV either, the world financial crisis wasn't made up by the news channels......  We have a completely different system of education here.... I actually like discussing politics as i am interested in it from a civilian point of view, its just hard to talk about without the sh1t hitting the fan....

I'm not offended by it at all i just saw the irony in the right leaning motives behind it... {untruths} Typical...

It doesn't really matter anyway because humor or not, its still political and i expect it will be locked anyway....

With all due respect - seeing USA from the outside does not count for much.  I lived in Czech Republic for 33 years, last few years I was married to an American.  Our education system is indeed international - to prove my point let me say,that to pass USA citizenship test, there was nothing new for me in the study material except Federalist Papers.
Anyway, I had pretty good knowledge of the good ole USA before moving here, but still living abroad or doing short visits, will not tell you much about this country  - I have been through myself.

My opinion is that you flared up due to your political believes but that was never the intention.  It is a joke and joke is a joke is a joke.  Without stereotyping, there would be precious few jokes out there.

[Markcb750]

Ha, pretty close to Canada too.

I think Afghanistan has the level of "freedom" the "government is too big crowd" , craves.

[joeson]

Reminds me of George Carlin this JOKE. How did Roy get mentioned in this thread ?LoL Chill enjoy

[Retro Rocket]

kind of political but to the point....Larry

Really...

The first answer "D" is from a dumb arse, thats all, and after listening to all the right wing, religious, back flipping dribble from the "other party" recently, i mean really !!  If i started quoting the last "R" dumb arse that "owned" your country you all would run away and hide, ashamed and embarrassed.... Another poorly disguised political post that no longer belongs here..... You guys are too funny.... 

No comment , other than it is always nice to be insulted.  Thanks Mick...Larry

I'm not sure how you read that Larry but there was no insult in there at all....

Another poorly disguised political post that no longer belongs here

The original post mate, if thats what you are referring to...

[Retro Rocket]

With all due respect - seeing USA from the outside does not count for much.

It may surprise you to know that i have some very good American friends, also it isn't very hard to access policy statements and other government info on their own websites, i take the news channels with a grain of salt. I am quite surprised that you guys would think or even wonder why a foreigner would show interest in what happens in the US considering that fact that what goes on there can generally have a far broader reach. {seems a lot of you don't realize that} We have a saying here, if the USA sneezes the world catches a cold....  If you surmised that i "flared up" due to my political beliefs you are sadly mistaken, all politicians are self interested morons and suck generally, its just that some make slightly more sense that others, i did say "slightly"...

I'm out of here anyway, its too hard to explain something that some of you clearly don't want to hear....

[Duanob]

Hey this aint political at all  ..............................................

BTW I am a #$%*ing liberal, I do own guns, and I vote! At least that's what my bumper sticker says.

[70CB750]

Whatever, talk what you want.

[mono]

Sheesh guys, lighten up.  Its a joke.  Its funny because its stereotypical and pushes the boundaries of political correctness. 



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[Terry in Australia]

Sheesh guys, lighten up.  Its a joke.  Its funny because its stereotypical and pushes the boundaries of political correctness. 

Yeah c'mon guys, calm down, it's only a joke, I like this quote from Letterman about "Dubbya" :

''It's interesting what former presidents do when they leave office. Bush is now working as a motivational speaker. And if you want to be motivated, who better to turn to than the guy who invaded the wrong country and started a depression.'' —David Letterman 

[6adan]

Southerner.