`
1. Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed.
2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.
3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)
4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.
5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.
6. Use extra Polygrip so your teeth don't end up under the bed.
7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.
8. Make all the noise you want....the neighbors are deaf, too.
9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!!
10. Don't even think about trying it twice. . .. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . ...
11. Cut the little E.D. pill in half to prevent a potential Heart blow out. ( a pretty young Pharmacy Tech advised me on this recently)
12. Don't eat anything before taking the E.D. pill or the results will be rather limp. (personal experience)
13. Stay with Levitra or Viagra. Cialis will make you half way horny for a week. (Cialis has a totally different chemical makeup)
`