Hmmnn, that's an idea, I've got a couple of elderly parents who are having problems getting up the stairs in their house, but retirement homes are so damn expensive, maybe I could frame 'em for a heinous crime (maybe flailing a helmet thief with an apple peeler?) so they get sentenced to life imprisonment in one of those nice cushy jails?
Let's face it, they're never gonna get out of that retirement home anyway, and I can visit 'em regularly, they'll get 24 hour "around the clock" supervision, and 3 square meals a day, free medical and a host of activities to keep their ol' criminal minds off committing more vile crimes against humanity, before they retire to their comfy air-conditioned cells? Bonus! Now where did I leave that apple peeler?