I have two daughters both in their mid 20's now. I remember the fist girl being easy until 12 years old. The second girl had a mind of her own since day one, she was difficult to warm up to until maybe she was 4. Since they were only 2 years apart there was some really good times for many years. Even family vacations were great. I couldn't offer them the kinds of things that other parents got there kids,sometimes they would let us know about it but but for the most part they already knew that is TFB because Dad's working his a$$ off and can only do what we can with what we got. When they were 10 and 12 I opened up a small store in a building that I was rehabing, they got to run the store on Saturdays. It probably wasn't fair but they did learn how to deal with the public, and made their own money, then figured out how to save for what they wanted to buy. That part stuck with them . they work very hard and can squeeze a penny so tight it make Lincoln cry. But they also know how to shop a deal and get what they want.
Never be afraid to tell them that you love them , never be afraid to explain any situation to them, then ask the what they would do, there is no manual, but they always deserve your love and respect (money isn't either of those things).
Boys will fcuk up everything, they'll hide information from you because they won't know how you will react if you find out that they may like another boy besides you, that kind of scares them . But they do know that there will be some new things that they have heard about that they want to try on this new boy. That scares us as parents... they know that and feel guilty... that in itself makes all kinds of tention that will eventually come out as anger...it's how we learn to grow up...The kids don't have a manual either,they only know what we teach them and what they hear in school. This is hormones and decision skills being tested and ours too.
My oldest was maybe 15 when there was this boy with a car that was driving her around without me knowing about it. I found out. Told him the next time I see my girl in the car with him that I would call the police ,tell him my girl was kidnapped off the street by this individual in this kind of car. He looked at me like , you wouldn't do that would you? So I asked him how long it would take at the police station to talk his way out of this?
A year later , I'm walking down the street and his car drive by... there's nobody in it... it's going down main street by itself
!! Later I found out my daughter was in the car with all her friends and they all ducked so's I wouldn't see them in the car. Left an uneasy feeling in me gut so I let him off the hook. Once that happened she lost interest in him.
Girls ain't easy, they never are. But like all women ,you have to constantly reinforce the fact that you love them and that they are the reason that you exist, and that they can have some welcome input on how the way that things are gonna be. Be there for her and perhaps it won't be as bad as it could be, we only get one shot at this life, everything you do counts, everything that you don't do can count against you. Good luck Dad.
