I was in the pet store buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I told her that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete: high in protein but not very high in calories.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind the woman. Horrified the woman asked if I was in the hospital because I'd been poisoned by the dog food.
I said no...I'd been sitting in the street, licking myself, when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy was going to need to be carried out on a stretcher.
