Author Topic: Headlines for the year 2029  (Read 1406 times)

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Offline Jonesy

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Headlines for the year 2029
« on: August 07, 2006, 07:35:12 AM »
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029
 
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.  White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
 

 
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
 

 
Baby conceived naturally.  Scientists stumped.
 

 
Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the AmericanTerritory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq,Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
 

 
Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
 

 
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
 

 
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
 

 
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
 

 
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
 

 
85-year $75.8 billion study:  Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.
 

 
Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
 

 
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
 

 
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals, violates their civil rights.
 

 
Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.
 

 
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
 

 
Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
 

 
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
 

 
Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: Headlines for the year 2029
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2006, 09:58:24 AM »
 ;D ;D ;D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

eldar

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Re: Headlines for the year 2029
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2006, 11:07:02 AM »
I would laugh if I though that half of that was not accurate!

Offline cbjunkie

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Re: Headlines for the year 2029
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2006, 11:39:48 AM »
sha...yeah - pretty grim, right?
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