Author Topic: The meaning of life explained!  (Read 1981 times)

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Offline Jonesy

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The meaning of life explained!
« on: August 08, 2006, 08:34:10 AM »
On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

 So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?"

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you. ;D
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline cbjunkie

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2006, 09:06:41 AM »
...we're all SO pleased!
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2006, 09:07:58 AM »
Good one, pretty accurate also.  ;D
We'll all be someone else's PO some day.

Tinker

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #3 on: August 24, 2006, 12:38:37 AM »
Life Repeats Itself
At age 4 success is not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is having friends.
At age 16 success is having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is having sex.
At age 35 success is having money.
At age 50 success is having money.
At age 60 success is having sex.
At age 70 success is having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is having friends.   
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #4 on: October 12, 2006, 03:16:22 AM »
Clever 

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Offline ic455

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #5 on: October 12, 2006, 09:08:57 PM »
...we're all SO pleased!


Fishy,fishy,fishy,FISH! 

I wonder where that fish did go, a-fishy, fishy, fishy, fish- ohhhh!

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #6 on: October 12, 2006, 09:12:52 PM »
i LOVE THAT MOVIE

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Offline ic455

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #7 on: October 12, 2006, 09:16:19 PM »
There's already a little Monty Python discussion going on in another thread, but what the heck:

"Isn't it frightfully wonderful to have a dong"

That movie is going stay funny forever 8)

Offline Rsnip988

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Re: The meaning of life explained!
« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2006, 09:22:43 PM »
It has to, especially with great songs like...

"Every sperm is sacred"


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