10. Visit your local butcher and pay $10 to sit in his walk in freezer for an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
9. Go to your nearest hockey rink and walk across it 20 times in your ski boots carrying two skis and your accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car.
8. For ski boots simulation at home, put a pebble in your socks and put on your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
7. Buy a pair of expensive gloves and immediately throw one away.
6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $12.50 for a hamburger. Be sure to stand in the longest line.
5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motor bike very fast to make the ticker lacerate your face.
4. Drive very slowly for 5 hours - anywhere as long as it is in a snowstorm and your are following an 18 wheeler very closely.
3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the ice hit you in the face. You would almost believe you are skiing in front of a snow maker.
2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom.
1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday.
