Topic: Funniest CL ad?

[edwardmorris]

From here http://honda-cb750-s.456789.n3.nabble.com/craigslist-add-Too-Funny-td3414989.html

350x Honda - $704 (SEK)
Date: 2011-10-12, 12:21AM CDT
Reply to: sale-7zev4-2645348835@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Demons spawn 3 wheeler. If you buy this, you have to be careful. Last weekend I took this cold unforgiving bastard for a ride. This GD thing points me at a hill and I swear its like the handle bars lock. Well, with only one direction to go I hit the gas and fly up the hill. When I get to the top of any said hill, I turn around and remember back about a year and a half ago when I did the exact same thing up a pretty narly hill. On the way back down the front brake froze or some#$%*. I know it was not rider error because my hands had about 4 pairs of cheap gloves on to half ass my way to warm hands. I couldn't bend my hand to hit the breaks. How could I use the clutch you ask? Easy only 2 pairs of cheap gloves on my left hand. Duh. I failed at hand warmth. I flew over the #$%*ing handle bars like a test dummy. I am 6'2 270 so that's quite impressive really. As I tumbled down the hill I seen my ass directly in front of my face at one point. Until that time I honestly didn't know my ass was so flat.
Finally at the bottom of the hill, I lay in a crumpled heap, sobbing at my misfortune. Second or 2 later, I remembered the bike was still on its way down after me. Unlike me it was in normal position on all 3 wheels. The angry #$%* ran me over smacking my face on the skid plate. The idle was a bit high on the trike, so as I laid there crying, pretty sure I was paralyzed from at least the pecker down, the trike was still rolling towards the busy highway on its own. As I tried to pick myself up off the cold unforgiving ground, I learned there was a god. That god let me know I was very much alive by allowing me to feel the worst pain I've ever felt. Blind in one eye, cockeyed in the other, I couldn't feel my downstairs eye, I wasn't sure of his condition. I turned my head slightly to allow my cockeyed eye to see where the trike was. My girlfriend bless her heart, has never rode a ATV, so she did what any good woman with no experience does. She grabbed the grab bar only to have it drag her as she valiantly tried to stop the angry #$%* of a 3 wheeler. I seen it finally die and come to a rest. allowing me to cry and weep for about 30 more minutes.
Finally, I found out I was not actually paralyzed because I could feel the cold #$%*ing snow on my flat white ass. A few stitches, one cast and 3 broken ribs later and about 1700 bucks later, I am good as new with horrifying stories to share with people at the bar as we all get #$%* faced and #$%* about politics, pussy and exchanging the ever important Facebook friends requests. I'm gonna "like" a mother #$%*ers status, don't think I wont. And by politics I don't mean pussy #$%* like debt, social security or the upcoming presidential election. I mean important #$%* like, "Clinton was cool he got sucked off in the Oral Office" Or "Its bushes fault, he wanted the price of Oil to go high" or "Obama sucks because he is black".

Just for the record I'd banged Bushes daughters .

As for the bike itself, I am not gonna bull#$%* you like 99% of the other folks who try to sell their ATV's. This GD thing is mostly stock, sans the zip tie. I #$%*ing hate when people type that everything is new and after market. #$%* you off you #$%*s. your #$%*s just as stock as mine. Zip ties holding the rear fender together are after market however. Probably the can from Walmart with 100 different sizes and colors. These are white. The stitching job looks almost as good as the one I received after eating the skid plate on it when the #$%* ran me over as it come down the hill. Which to be honest, #$%*ing sucks! Whoever did this job before I bought it is a GD moron. I think it was my brother.

Anyway, it runs great. 3 kicks when cold. Its seen better days. rear fenders are rough. front brake needs attention, don't forget that #$%*! The rears work. Headlights dont work, no bulbs. No rear light either. It pulls my big ass around with no problem.

$704 bucks. Might trade for a 4x4 is someone wants to go that route for some reason. Email ASAFP!

Even though I didn't add the zip ties I am going to charge 4 dollar for them. I feel it's worth it.

    Location: SEK
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