Topic: My Dad's Current Situation Isn't Better

[bill440cars]

Hey Bill. Sorry to hear this my friend. I could say I know what you, your wife, daughter and Dad are going through, but I have no idea. I can only imagine what it might be like and that that doesn't even come close I'm sure. My Mom is 85 and right now she's in very good health for her age. She's on very little medicines of any type and still able to live by herself and still drives also. I hope and pray her health will stay good for a lot more years. My Dad died when I was only 12, I feel I hardly knew him, and didn't have a Dad to grow up with or do things with. I don't have to say this because I know you are, but just be thankful and feel blessed that you've had your Dad here with you all these years. I sure he was a great Dad(I'm not saying he was always perfect no one is) but I know y'all did a lot stuff together and have great memories. Looking at some of your older threads I'm sure that's who you got your love for motorcycles from him and your grandfather. What was it like being around all those bikes growing up? He is a very lucky man to have a son like you to take care of him during his later years.

           I really appreciate all of the support and input on here, from all of you and am VERY thankful for this place and the members, who are like family. My Dad liked to make a motorcycle his own. I don't know of any one motorcycle that he just bought and left it like he got it. A good example was a 1955 Royal Enfield 250 Street bike that he bought new in the crate (through my Granddad's motorcycle shop), had it delivered to my Grandmother's back porch (my Grandparents had a large back porch) and he put that Enfield together, the way he wanted it. He left off the stock steel fenders, lights and exhaust system. He then made fender braces and put them on with aluminum fenders and then built his own straight exhaust pipe (no muffler) and took that one straight to the woods, for off road events. If you go online to Royal Enfield,look up the Bullet and the "Trials Kit" and you will see a motorcycle that is almost the spitting image of the bike my Dad built back in 1955. Thing is, my Dad and my Granddad knew nothing about getting this patented. At the time he did this, Royal Enfields were being rebadged as Indians. The Indian name for the 250 Bullet was the "Fire Arrow" and in 1957, They introduced a new model called the Hounds Arrow which was their version of the one my Dad built. The Factory Rep. saw Dad's 250 and next thing you know, HIS version was an official model. This happened with tools that were used to work on the Indians as well. The only regret I have, about my growing up with a motorcycle shop in the family is I wish I could have been born sooner and had MORE time to enjoy it. I will ALWAYS be happy for the time that I did have though. Now, if ONLY I had the knowledge that my Dad and my Granddad had, of the motorcycles and the skills they used to do mechanic and fabrication work. Though the shop, my Granddad and my Dad influenced me to have the love for mechanical things, my Dad taught me the most. He not only had me put my first motorcycle together from parts, ever so often, he would quiz me as to how an engine works. And he kept after me, until I had it straight from start to finish. Yep, That was My Dad.     

[kghost]

All I can say is hang in there Bill

[bill440cars]

      Thanks Tim, sure trying and it has already been quite an experience. I know that there is more to come, though I don't know to what extent. 

[bill440cars]

       I could be wrong, but I think my Dad is closer to going. He hasn't been able to eat or drink much. He seems to be pretty much out of it, for the most part. There are times that he is pretty with it, but they are getting to be fewer. He is getting thinner and is actually skin and bones. 

[78 k550]

Sorry to hear this Bill.
Stay strong and celebrate his life not death. He will have no more pain to go through.

Paul

[bill440cars]

Sorry to hear this Bill.
Stay strong and celebrate his life not death. He will have no more pain to go through.

Paul

          Thank you, Paul. I appreciate that. Very early this morning, my Dad managed to get out of bed, without us realizing (bed alarm isn't distinctive enough) and fell in his bathroom. Fortunately, he didn't break anything or do any damage to himself at all. And he had taken off his oxygen hose. Managed to get him back in the bed, freshened him up and his bed. Got him all settled back in and then, about 5am or so, he tried it again. Being under Hospice, but at home, we have been given medications, as needed and as speculated will be needed as well and we have been working with them to determine what my Dad needs and so far, most everything leaves him acting really strange, or being hateful and, in some cases, staying awake for 2-3 days, which means WE are also awake that long. I wish we could get him some relief that wouldn't make him so haywire. any REAL communication with him now days, is not often at all. He took a swing at me this morning, when we kept him from getting up the 2nd time. He said (or actually shook his head that he knew he fell earlier, but if he REALLY knew he fell and remembered how that felt, looks like he wouldn't be so fired up to get out of the bed, I just thank God that he didn't do any damage to himself, when he fell. I can't begin to tell you how that shook us up, to find him on the bathroom floor. 

[78 k550]

he is really keeping you on your toe's. My dad had a similar case where he loved apples. So he never would bite an apple always slice it. He lost his balance and fell a flight of stairs with a knife in his hand. I to this day not sure how he didn't stab himself or break any thing.

Stay Strong. He still need's you through this hard time.

Paul

[bill440cars]

he is really keeping you on your toe's. My dad had a similar case where he loved apples. So he never would bite an apple always slice it. He lost his balance and fell a flight of stairs with a knife in his hand. I to this day not sure how he didn't stab himself or break any thing.

Stay Strong. He still need's you through this hard time.

Paul

            Yes, he is doing that! Sure trying to hang in there. All the while, I am thinking that IF I had a brother worth anything, then we could more easily take care of his needs and not put ourselves so much on edge, trying to make sure he is getting the coverage he needs. I promise you one thing, if He sleeps, we do also, AFTER we make sure that he is ion a deep sleep and even then, we make sure that one of us, is awake enough, to cover him for awhile. 

[jtb]

I know this is tough, Bill.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  He'll be at peace soon, remember the good things from his life.

John

[bill440cars]

I know this is tough, Bill.  Our thoughts and prayers are with you.  He'll be at peace soon, remember the good things from his life.

John

            Yes John, it is something I have never had to deal with, as far as being drawn out and several times, I thought it was almost over and then he would just come on back and go again. But, this time, it sure doesn't look like he's going to make a comeback. During the course of this period, he has bad mouthed me, saying I was after his money and David deserved everything. Now THAT was hard to take, since it was the other way round. But then, there have been a couple of times, lately, that he has apologized for causing such an uproar and thanked me for what we were trying to do for him. I know a lot of what he says and does, isn't him. One evening, when I went in and stopped him from getting out of the bed, he took a swing at me, saying he was gonna piss all over everything, if I didn't let him out of the bed and then, he settled down and we took care of his need. in the last few years, since around 2007/8, I have learned a lot of things and dealt with a lot, that I had no clue I ever would have to and I got a HUGE assist from right here, in the way of support, advice and concern. And The Family I have Right Here, just can't be beat!   

[78 k550]

You can't take it personally he is not in his right state of mind. Don't let it bother you. You know in your heart what is right and you my friend have gone above and beyond the call of duty to help your dad.

Paul

[bill440cars]

       Thank you, for the kind words Paul. I certainly have tried, that's for sure. And I have to say that my Wife (Michelle) has really helped out SO much with my Dad and my Daughter Karla has helped in many ways as well. But Michelle, jumps in to help and give me a break. Definitely have gotten myself One Fine Lady. Dad doesn't quite know how to take her.

[bill440cars]

  We are at the point now, that he doesn't eat much at all, mainly applesauce, pudding or jello. And medicine that can't be gotten in liquid form, is crunched and put in what he will eat, that we feed him. No real communication any more. Plus, he is getting combative at times. Hard to imagine, at this point, that a person going through this, was once a strong willed and pretty educated with definite skills in the mechanical field and other skills as well. Sorry for rambling  just sort of lost for the moment.

[78 k550]

Just hope he isn't suffering too much.
Tough times to go through.

Paul

[tomkimberly]

Bill, your story is very moving and brings back many memories for when my step mother passed a few years ago.

Stay strong and remember, none of us gets out alive and that death is a natural occurrence.

Tom

[bill440cars]

Just hope he isn't suffering too much.
Tough times to go through.

Paul

           I hear you, Paul. Thing is, I don't know if, when he moans and such, it is actual pain and discomfort or if he is dreaming things that he is responding to. I do know that he is having SOME pains, when we have to move him around, to take care of him, to clean him up and change him out, after an accident. we have a CNA through Hospice, who comes in and cleans him up and such, everyday, but, her arrival isn't always at a time, when he needs to be cleaned up. So, we do that. Not something that you would EVER think you'd be doing for your Dad, that's for sure. We are doing all we can, to keep his level of pain, down as much as possible. Had to go through several different meds, to find what he was most compatible with. Some of them, made him really act strange. Not trying to keep him sedated, just to where he isn't any more pain than necessary and can get some sleep. Until we found what was most suited for him, he might stay awake 2-3 days or more. And THAT meant that WE would also be awake as well. I have to say that since 2007, I have picked up an incredible amount of knowledge on things I never realized I would need to know. We have to keep a close eye on his feet and hands, as he is becoming combative at times. Thank you, Paul, for your concern and input here, Always good to hear from an old friend. 

[bill440cars]

Bill, your story is very moving and brings back many memories for when my step mother passed a few years ago.

Stay strong and remember, none of us gets out alive and that death is a natural occurrence.

Tom

          Sorry to hear about your Step Mother Tom. and she wasn't like my Dad is becoming.  I know that different folks are going to do differently. Yeah, I know that the last phase is death. I guess what doesn't help is that when my Dad is gone, I will be the oldest one of the Family then and I just Pray I can be here for some time to come, to make sure my Family is taken care of. I also Pray that when my time DOES come, I am not a burden to my Family.

[tomkimberly]

Bill, if I do it right, I'll spend my last days out on the high desert, but alone....

BTW, I got up last night to turn up the furnace, my daughter moved some furnature around, I did a header!!!