Topic: The Great Biker Spend Off - Hardley Functionson

[ElCheapo]

The Great Biker Spend off. At first these shows were ok. As time goes I am developing a great dislike for them. Nothing, but nothing original. Hey let’s put on a big fat fender….. MMM done already.. Ok then let’s put a huge rear wheel on it…. Oh…… that was done too.

I watch and listen to these booger eating Harley builders cry and complain about not having parts. Might I add, nice clean super pretty #$%* that is designed to fit together. Really I can not see why they can’t build them in 5 days. It is just a damn erector set.

No matter who is building it, it is SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME SAME. Watching these guys build no- ASSEMBLE their crap it is a bit like drinking Nyquil to get drunk, This is just not good in many ways.

Another thing that kills me is that I can build a bike from junk in a great time frame and make it much faster than some stupid chopper #$%*ter for less than the cost of the rear wheel from one of these great spend off bikes. I say show me some real metal fab, and not how much money you can spend.

All of these flag wavers forgot simple history education that our tax dollars were wasted on. The US was founded on individuals coming together as a group not a group trying to be individuals. They are all sheep. I say it is much harder to take even a running bike and tear it down completely and bring it back in a few short days than it is to build some bull #$%* from a catalog.

You bored and ready to look at pictures?

Look at a book with 30 years of import bikes (ANY BRAND), and the 30 years of Hardley Functionson. You will see, even if you are a moron that NO R and D has gone into the Hardley Functionson motors in better than 45 years. Sad I think. All of their sales pitch is “look at me” not “horsepower” base improvements from last model. They can’t they are all the same.

I would like to see any of these big idiots build in a tight budget without calling in expensive "parts" favors. If they can build a kick ass bike for under $2,000 then they can finally step to the plate.


And for the latest...

A quote from the episode tognight.

"I travel four and half hours to have this guy paint my bike".....................

Ummmmm dip#$%*....... it was aaaa was semi satin black...... The kind of paint a 2nd grader could have done.  even the worst painters could have done it within the 4 1/2 hours it took him to drive there.

[Jv550]

Watching these guys build no- ASSEMBLE their crap it is a bit like drinking Nyquil to get drunk

Mmmm, Nyquil... 

[Rsnip988]

I agree, Harleys are all cookie cutter bikes.  another thing that irritates me is the show "Amercan Choppers"  The OCC guys put form over function, sure it looks cool and one of a kind but is it safe and how longs the thing gonna last?

Sorry for the rant, but they look like monkeys slamming parts around moreso than mechanics.

just my 2 cents

RKS

[burmashave]

The prob is that most of us are neither the target audience for these shows nor the target market for HD bikes. 
   
When I took my MSF course, we got a tour of the HD dealership where the course was held.  It is hilarious how much floorspace and attention HD gives to "merchandise."  You name it -- from HD jewelry to HD dog toys.  Check out their catalogs.  The bike catalog is a skinny little brochure kind of thing.  The merchandise catalog is thick, full-sized and perfect bound.
   
This isn't unique to motorcycles -- as explained in Way of the Gun:
   
Longbaugh: But, you know, then you got the other side. You got these trigger-happy c*cks*ckers all about the shooting and posturing and 'you don't know who I am' kind of thing..."I been to prison."
Joe Sarno: 'cuase you got caught, dumb f*ck.
Longbaugh: These days, they want to be criminals more than they want to commit crime.
Joe Sarno: Well that's... that's not just crime. That's the way of the world.
   
The money is in the people who want to be bikers, instead of actually biking and working on bikes.  That's the way of the world. 

[Jay B]

A friend of mine talked to a guy who was putting gas in his new OCC bike. Asked him what he thought of it and he said if he could get his $68,000 back he'd get rid of the POS in a heartbeat. The guy just expected a lot more from those "premier" builders.

Anyway, I got nothing against HD's. Ithink they are pleasant bikes to ride, but the chopper thing has absolutely been done to death. There just aren't enough inovative/weird/stupid ideas to go round anymore.

[ElCheapo]

I don't really have anything against Harley's in particular. But I think if they spent as much money in R and D as they do in marketing stupid #$%* with their name on it we would all be riding Harley's.

Reminds me of the Ask.com commercial that was running. It was the one where the little kid said "Google, it's not better, just better known"

I see these guys all the time on their extra loud contraptions. It seems there are an awful lot of "commercial puppets" around. They are told what to like and told what to buy. The marketing alone around this "American" company makes it so anti-American it's not even funny. The 1%'ers by Harley's own standards are in fact 99%'ers. It's a good thing for them they were able to hide behind patriotism otherwise they would be defunct. The sad part is that most cagers are so blind they also believe these are the "only" motorcycles on the road. Maybe that's why these blind drivers fail to see us.

This whole "Fashionable" industry run by Harley goes against itself in less than two sentences when they are marketing thier stuff. They do the whole "Follow no one" - (except us), be a 1%er (just like the rest of us), and be one of a kind (just like your buddy).

To me they are little more than cages with 2 wheels.

What is real old school? Let's just take a look at the early 50's in Europe. And look to the cafe racer scene. These guys were not followers. These guys were the genuine article, a bike was much more than a bike. Just ask anyone who has worked as a courier on a bike.

The fact is Harley's and thier "culture" are Anti-American in everyway. Last I checked Americans were proud (if not bull headed people) who broke new trails and new ways. Just as a last funny here is a tag from the box side of a "American" motorcycle.

[Rushoid]

"Follow no one" - (except us), be a 1%er (just like the rest of us), and be one of a kind (just like your buddy).

Cheapo, I think those would look great on t-shirts! Maybe with the "Made In Japan" picture on the back! I'd buy one or three. 

[Raul CB750K1]

As a kid, when Willie G. Davidson couldn't get sleep, he was scared with The Boogey Man. When the Boogey Man couldn't get sleep, he was scared with El Cheapo...


Hey Tom, have you ever heard the fable of the fox and the sour grapes? 


Raul

[ElCheapo]

Not sour graping.

I have an "Old bike" and I paid "Old bike" prices...... I can tell you I do not feel dumb for it.

You have to understand where the fuel comes from for my "Anti-Harley" threads. I live less than an hour from Harleys sack`. Here in Harley land, they are little more than 2 wheel cagers.

Stupid people annoy and entertain me at the same time. Harley has made no major R and D breakthroughs in better than 30 years. Most of the bikes look, same same same same, oh looky looky... oh same. So when they race out and buy that new bike they are in fact buying the same old tired design. 

I did not buy my bike because of the name on it. It could have been a Yamaha... I bought it because it was a bike and it was the right price.

If Harley is supposed to be the "American" thing, then we should be embarassed. 

[nickjtc]

Yay, ElCheapo says it like it is, again.

Absolutely right with the stats thing. The cruiser types try so hard to be 1%-ers that they ALL look exactly the same.

[cmorgan47]

i just got back from up north and the "uniforms" some people wear really crack me up.  business har and leather all over.

i was banging my wife's civic hybrid through the turns quicker than some of these guys.


*antihate disclaimer...i know a few guys with sporties that are pretty solid.  the guys, not the sporties.

[nickjtc]

*antihate disclaimer...i know a few guys with sporties that are pretty solid.  the guys, not the sporties.

Ouch!

[kuyarico]

I pretty much agree you Mr. Cheapo. Especially the part about how these builders are really assemblers. For the most part I think that HD's are noise polluters. I got a chance to ride a big ass Fat Boy this past weekend for the first time and it was exactly as I expected it to be. Big, loud and heavy. Back to the topic of builders, did anyone catch Biker Build-off last night? The Walz Hardcore Mille Miglia is big(over 10 feet long), loud, probably heavy, but I WANT IT. And yes it does have a huuuugee rear wheel. I pretty much hate most custom builders like OCC, but the Walz bike just did it for me. Maybe it was the flat black paint and lack of chrome. Anyways, flame on.

[cmorgan47]

so is that exaust kicking out directly onto your right thigh?

[kuyarico]

so is that exaust kicking out directly onto your right thigh?

It's more like a Right Ass Cheek warmer.

I thought the same thing, but it didn't seem to bother him. He drove it a thousand miles to NV for the bike show.

[ElCheapo]

so is that exaust kicking out directly onto your right thigh?

Works nicely to warm the right sack.. So does this make this bike a sack warmer?

Actually is was last night biker spend off that sent me over the edge..... Maybe I should not skip my meds so often. Maybe I should not take other peoples meds 

Anyway, it just hit me as more BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Not impressed. Look at me I can spend all kinds of money to make other people make my bike. Builders are getting to the point of being owners. Why fab any level of it when you can get someone else to do it?

If I got on a biker build off I would make it a point to kick their ass with a bike that cost less than 1/3 of their overpriced POS. Might be the last "Biker Spend Off" Despicable Channel does.

Just getting sick of it all............ BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH... Get some balls and do something original.

[Raul CB750K1]

Is Harley technology outdated? -Yes
Are Harley bikes, performance wise, worst than 99% of the other brands? -yes
Do I believe most of Harley owners are posers? -yes
Are Harley bikes good-looking? -yes
Did the japanese brands copy Harley when launching the metric cruisers? - yes
Are Harley bikes overpriced? - yes
Would I like to have an Sportster? - yes
Would I like to have an Street Bob? -yes
Is Harley-Davidson the longest-living motorcycle manufacturer? - yes


Talking about, custom bikes...

Is Walz Hardcore german? - yes

[ElCheapo]

I do actually have some ideas for a "Chopper" build off that is nothing like the 2 cylinder tractors. Double the performance, half the motor size, half the 0-100mph time and twice the gas milage. Sure sounds much more American. Unless you want to go with present American attitude, in which case you would have a fuel line that just dragged leaking fuel all over the road for no apparent reason. Nothing tops one of these off like a good old fashoined baby seal beater accessory for the wheels. Maybe a good beer holder for those "between" bars times. 

I think this NASTY - DOUBLE NASTY SITE SAYS IT ALL..................

http://www.geocities.com/wiwifeexchange2003/home.html

They trade wives, must be like thier bikes, all the same. 

[Loudpipe]

Tom, I completely agree. While I think that build-off shows are better than most of the crap that's on TV, these guys make me a little sick to the stomach.

[nickjtc]

http://www.geocities.com/wiwifeexchange2003/home.html
They trade wives, must be like thier bikes, all the same. 

Someone please tell me that this is a big joke. Please. Anybody.

[burmashave]

Completely OT: It's the great avatar switcheroo.  El Cheapo, excellent avatar.  Are you a fan?
   
Slightly On Topic: He was the real deal.  Cash was flipping off BBC, who was filming the concert, because their camera men were getting in the way of his show for the prisoners at San Quentin:

"I'll tell you what, the show is being recorded, and televised for England, and ummm, they said, they told me, they said uh, they said, you gotta do this song, and you gotta do that song, you know, you gotta stand like this or act like this. They just don't get it, man, you know. I'm here to do what YOU want me to and what I want to do. Alright? Okay? Alright. So what do you want to hear? Alright. Alright. I'll Walk The Line."

This to a packed meal hall at a maximum security prison.

[nickjtc]

Completely OT: It's the great avatar switcheroo.  El Cheapo, excellent avatar.  Are you a fan?
   
Slightly On Topic: He was the real deal.  Cash was flipping off BBC, who was filming the concert, because their camera men were getting in the way of his show for the prisoners at San Quentin:

"I'll tell you what, the show is being recorded, and televised for England, and ummm, they said, they told me, they said uh, they said, you gotta do this song, and you gotta do that song, you know, you gotta stand like this or act like this. They just don't get it, man, you know. I'm here to do what YOU want me to and what I want to do. Alright? Okay? Alright. So what do you want to hear? Alright. Alright. I'll Walk The Line."

This to a packed meal hall at a maximum security prison.

Those gosh darn'd Brits...

[ElCheapo]

As a matter of fact I am a fan. He was "Goth" before it was remotely cool to be. Don't believe me, just read some of the words to his songs. Talk about some dark stuff.

Unfortunately I think that wife swapper site for Harley Retards is the real deal.

[burmashave]

As a matter of fact I am a fan. He was "Goth" before it was remotely cool to be. Don't believe me, just read some of the words to his songs. Talk about some dark stuff.

Yup.  Some of his music was very dark, as was his appearance.  All of his music was awesome.

And just how *did* you find that site?

[ElCheapo]

Funny thing was my wife was doing a search in google, I think it was something like "Harley Retards".. ok maybe not but anyway she found it.