The Lion tamer at a famous circus decided to retire. He had a young assistant, and the circus management persuaded the Lion tamer to teach the assistant all he knew, and he agreed.
The lion tamer started out by stressing the importance of approaching the Lion with the chair in the right hand, and the whip in the left hand. The assistant nodded in comprehension. "Point a leg of the chair directly at the Lions face, they don't like that and will back off" said the lion tamer.
"What," asked the apprentice "if the lion strikes with his paw, and knocks the chair out of my hand ? I've seen them do that before".
"Well, said the lion tamer, that is where the whip comes in, crack it sharply down by the lion's nose so that it makes a loud noise, and the lion will back off, because they cannot stand the sound of the whip".
"What," asked the apprentice "if the lion strikes with his paw, and knocks the whip out of my hand ? I've seen them do that before".
"Well, said the lion tamer, reach down to the ground, pick up some sh*te, stick it on the lion"s nose and he will back off, because they cannot stand the smell of sh*te".
"How can I be sure there will be sh*te on the ground ?" asked the apprentice.
"Don't worry lad" said the lion tamer, "at that point there'll be lots of sh*te !!!".
