John and his wife Eileen celebrated their sixtieth wedding anniversary with family and friends. On their way home their car was hit by a drunk driver and both were killed.
They arrive at the Pearly Gates and are greeted by St Peter. Welcome to Heaven he says, come with me. He takes them to a beautiful home, and says, this is your new home for eternity. When they ask how much, he tells them, this is part of your reward in Heaven. They walk out on the patio and there is this amazing golf course. John and Eileen had both been avid golfers since their children had grown up and left home. St Peter explains that the course changes every night at midnight, so every day playing is a fresh challenge. When they ask what the greens fees are, St Peter tells them, this is also part of their reward in Heaven, and there is no charge.
He then walks them over to the Country Club and shows them around. Every kind of rich food you can imagine is at the buffet. John asks what dues are, and how expensive this endless buffet of rich food costs. When St Peter tells John not to worry, it is all free, and there are no calories. John immediately gets angry and stomps out of the dining area. Eileen and St Peter follow him out, and his wife asks him what is wrong.
John angrily replies, if I knew this was waiting for me I'd have said "NO" to those bran muffins you've been feeding me for breakfast the last ten years!!
