Bapty was what they call in county Tipperary a « mountainy man » .
He lived up on the mountains, alone, tending his flock of sheep. A bachelor, used to his own company.
Every couple of months he would come down from the mountain driving a few beasts to the market, sell them, have a few drinks in the pub after the deals were done and head home again.
Early one year on market day, Bapty appears with some sheep but he is literally stumbling about the place. All day long he is bumping into things, can’t recognize anyone, is squinting and everybody reckons he had been into the Poitin (moonshine) before coming to market. But when approached, it appears that Bapty is as sober as a judge, but literally can’t see his hand in front of his face. The townsfolk persuade old Bapty to check into the hotel and go see the optician the next day, and he agrees.
Next day the optician tries out all his lenses in front of Bapty’s eyes but came to the very last set before Bapty could read the chart. “Jaysus Baptyâ€, says the optician “you’ve neglected your sight dreadfully, but not to worry, I’ll have the solution for you tomorrow with a fine pair of glasses, but mind, there is a lot of correction required manâ€.
Bapty stays in the hotel another night, and calls round to the optician the next day to collect his spectacles. The proud optician presents Bapty with a pair of glasses with lenses like the bottoms of jam jars, like really thick lenses, magnifying glasses so to speak.
“Will ya feck off out of it†cries Bapty “a man would have to have perfect eyesight to see through them thingsâ€.
