In court in a small sleepy town, the prosecution calls the first witness, a frail, really old lady.
The DA approaches the witness and asks:
- Mrs. Williams, you recognize me...
- Oh yes, I recognize you, Billy Thompson! I've seen you grow up, and you went from being disappointing to being despicable. You cheat on your wife, you lie as fast as you can breathe, you are manipulative, you slander honest people, and you're greedy. You think that you're great in the sack, while everyone in town knows that you shoot your load in ten seconds flat. I know you quite alright, and that's not something I'm proud of.
Taken aback and at a loss for words, the DA does not really know what to do, and points to the Defense, saying:
- Er... Mrs. Williams, and...
Before he can continue, Mrs Williams snaps:
- Yes, I know that wannabe-lawyer, Tommy Tyler. Since he was a baby, him too. He's lazy, he's obese, he's an alcoholic, and he has rotten teeth. He can't have sex unless he swallows pills, he's cheating on his wife with three different women, one of them being your wife. Yes, I do know him too...
The Defense lawyer is nearing a heart attack, but before he can open his mouth the Judge beckons them to the bench, with a stern look on his face.
They approach, and the Judge says, half-growling, in a low tone:
- Now listen very well, gentlemen: if any of you two scoundrels ask the lady if she knows me, I jail you both for contempt!
