An update for the next person who suffers this incident...
Well I've found the damn thing after 9 hours of searching (most of it from under the bike AND using an endoscope from eBay), I gave up and called in a favour. I took the engine out again (I've got this down to a fine art now and can get it out in 10 mins using webbing straps and a scaffold pole). Rocker cover/rockers/ camshaft/cam-sprocket removed I eventually discovered the washer sat on top of the crankcase gasket in a recess under the cylinders (see picture - they're not my barrels, I just used a pic from net and photoshopped it). A thin precision telescopic magnet got it out in the end.
All told I'll need to replace the rocker cover gasket and set the valve clearances, so it's not quite the disaster it could have been. I intend to be extremely careful putting it back together.
If this happens to you in the future, just bear it in mind. If the engine was in the bike you could lean it over as far as you can manage, it might slide off and drop down. Going from the underside is a nightmare though (oil drips on your face so wear goggles), even with the bike on a lift giving the best access, the magnet sticks to everything and if a washer gets lodged by the primary chain tensioner bolt, you'll have a hell of a time trying to get to it blind. If the engine isn't in the bike, you can poke a thin magnet down though the gap under the cam-chain sprocket, saving you removing it all- I expect I could have had quick success if id know to look there from the off.
Good luck!