Topic: So long my friends!

[Raul CB750K1]

I hope you will be fine. Really bad you have to sell your beloved bikes for hospital care.
Case like this reminds me how safe we are here in Sweden were hospital care is free. Only check-in fee of $12US plus food when having a longer visit.

If I'm sick months away from my job I get less, but not enough for selling house not paying bills. We have higher taxes...

No no, I'm not selling the bikes because I need the money. In Spain we have socialized medicine. The chemotherapy has costed me 0 euro so far. I'm also getting paid even if I'm not working. I'm selling stuff to clear things up. My point was that this kind of illness change your perspective in the things you do and the things you treasure, but specially makes you think about what your family will have to deal with when you are gone.

Have you ever talked with your wife about whether you want to be buried or cremated, what would you like to be done with your ashes etc? Even what would you think about her getting another spouse when you are gone? Believe me, it is not an easy thing to do but it is something you feel you have to do when you have the time. In some way you understand how somebody in the death row feel. You hope the moment will come the later the better, but you want to have things arranged just in case. Definitely not an easy thing, believe me. In such circumstances, selling your beloved bike becomes something easy by comparison.

[Kevin D]

Raul, I have a couple of stories to share. Not so easy to tell. I'm not an expert on any of this but willing to share my related experience with you.
 Before my mom passed, it became clear that she could not live by herself. We are not wealthy, and could not afford long term hospice care. It was proposed that she come and live in our home, with my wife as the primary caregiver. We have the space, but I was initially against it as we have a busy household, and I was worried that our home would be transformed into something with unpleasant memories.
                                  Boy, was I wrong about that.

Mom was thrilled to be spending so much time with her grandchildren. She came to the breakfast table and the dinner table as much as possible. The kids always said good morning and good night with hugs and kisses. My wife stepped up and hit a home run with Mom's frequent needs and doctor visits. Mom's many friends came by regularly and spent time with her. My wife was the hostess, and the coffee pot got a workout. These were the daily parties that I spoke of earlier, and of course I miss my Mom, but it's the daily party that I remember about her last days.

[Kevin D]

Second story, echoing what Bobby related in reply 43.
 My brother in law Fred, a medic in Vietnam, father of 8, teacher, believer. Fred lived 5 hours away in outstate Michigan. His first bout with cancer was 15? years ago, diagnosis prostate cancer. The local hospital sent him to Henry Ford Hospital in Detroit for robotic surgery which was successful and Fred was back on his feet in no time.
 Years later he started having difficulty again, jaundiced and itching, his bile duct was blocked. Diagnosis pancreatic cancer. The local hospital was unable to fully treat him, and again he came to Detroit, this time to the Karamanos Cancer Institute. They inserted a stent into the blocked duct, and he was OK for a while. He returned to his home and work, but became ill again within a year. He returned to Karamanos and because of his persistence, his durability, his strong faith, he became a candidate for a Whipple surgery. Now, I dont know a Whipple from a whistle, but the Whipple surgery helped Fred. He returned to his home, his work, he was declared cancer free. The de facto victory party was at my daughters wedding reception a few months later. It was a joyous event on several accounts, and there was no beer left at the end of the evening!
 He lived a regular life for several years on until he was stricken again, and passed away. But he had 15 years added to his life by seeking the best possible treatment available in the best hospitals. It wasn't easy time, we all worked hard to make things better for Fred. I hope and pray that you have the same strong advocates that Fred had, and also that you have access to the best Doctors, Hospitals, procedures, clinical trials, medicine.
                           Happy Thanksgiving and God Bless You and Yours, Raul

[Raul CB750K1]

Years later he started having difficulty again, jaundiced and itching, his bile duct was blocked. Diagnosis pancreatic cancer. The local hospital was unable to fully treat him, and again he came to Detroit, this time to the Karamanos Cancer Institute. They inserted a stent into the blocked duct, and he was OK for a while

Kevin, thanks for sharing those two stories. That with Fred is exactly what I went through: bile duct blocked, stents implanted, diagnostic: pancreatic cáncer, but located in the upper part of the liver, with methastasis in the peritoneum.


When I was diagnosed I asked for the odds: "only a few survive the fifth year". I replied: "i want to be one of them". Five years may seem to little, but also a lot! Even being healthy nobody guarantees you will live the next five years. Well, I'm on the 8th month, on my way.... :-)

As you say with your mom, it is all about the quality of life more than the quantity. That's more or less the way I'm living now, spending time with the family, talking about everything and nothing, enjoying a coffee, etc. My wife and I laugh together, cry together, and I love every morning that my kids Kiss me before my wife takes them to school. I want to treasure as many of those moments as possible.

I have had a port-a-cath implanted today. My next goal is Christmas. Then it would be february, my kid's birthday. Then it will be may, his first communnion. Then..... well I don't have goals after that. It all depends on how I'll be and how the cáncer has progressed. I would love to live 15 years more, but only if I can have a "regular" life. Until now I'm being a burden. But I'll fight till the end, because I know my family will find consolation in the fact that I have done all I can.

[demon78]

The talk with the wife, we had a few  ( my heart hits hyper speed every once in a while ) so a couple of years ago they had to take me into emerg and stop and start my heart, it was thought by all concerned that I would blink out first I was older by 9 years, and I had a bit of a rough life so with that and every thing I'm telling her where to find things how do certain things, how I wanted to be planted and such and yes those times were good, we got closer together less tight assed about the family and the world, and how if I lasted a certain length of time what tests were going to be done and she shouldn't mope and not let the kids to brow beat her into doing things she didn't want to do ( she was the nice one of the family and would go along with things ) and if she found a nice person and wanted to get married go for it. Probably all the things you've talked about with your wife. I also had the talk with her about saying #$%* off and die to anyone that was making her uncomfortable and meaning it. After all she was an intelligent mature woman and she didn't have to put up with BS. I'm sure you have covered all of it. It was an interesting time unfortunately she died in my arms just before Christmas a couple of years ago (her heart stopped) and I was devastated but in retrospect I think she had a better time mentally and more fun in the time after my problems and began to understand me better than she'd ever been to before, I know I loved her more in that time than I had in a long time and was more proud of her and her accomplishments then almost any time in our married life. So give your wife and kids a bear hug from the demon and tell your wife if she needs a hand to tell some to shag off just get a hold me and I'll be glad to.
Bill the demon.

[bill440cars]

             Raul, Hate to hear of what you have been through. My Prayers are with you, my friend. Have to say I enjoyed the times on the forum with You and the others. Hoping to see you around, for some time too, just cause the bikes are going, doesn't mean you can't pop in here and share your wisdom or whatever. Take care, My Friend.

[edwardmorris]

RIP Raul, you're missed

http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php/topic,158241.0.html

[CBGhia]

Damn.      

[vfourfreak]

Raul was a decent, brave man who faced up to his fate putting his family first and having no sense of self pity.

A fine man. His family will certainly know that and can draw some measure of consolation from the fact.

I had really hoped there was to be a miracle for him, but alas that was not to be.

Kev