Author Topic: You might be a redneck if.....  (Read 3073 times)

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Offline crash

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You might be a redneck if.....
« on: November 14, 2006, 01:28:31 PM »
A little rain doesn't spoil the fishing...

You need fashion tips from your husband...

You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture...


Your wedding picture looked like this...


And your wedding cake looked like this...


Your mailbox looks like this...


Your doghouse looks like this...


Your pickup looks like this...


You have a deer's butt for a door bell...


You don't need a lake to do a little skiing...


Or if your wife is quoted in the local paper saying...

« Last Edit: November 14, 2006, 01:36:52 PM by crash »
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2006, 02:02:55 PM »
I like the doorbell. It would add a rustic look to the old homestead.  ;D
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Offline Jonesy

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2006, 04:32:02 PM »
A few more...
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Offline Jonesy

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2006, 04:34:49 PM »
And still a few more...
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen

Offline nickjtc

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2006, 06:43:29 PM »
...there are no branches on your family tree.
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Ebrandon

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2006, 06:48:37 PM »
If you really want to know you should watch "the dancing outlaw" it was a pbs series call to the beat of another drummer.


Nestled deep within the heart of the mountains of Boone County, West Virginia reigns a King. The King - Jesco White, The Dancing Outlaw. Jesco is a living legend. The last of the Mountain Dancers, his style is unique to the mountain culture. Resembling tap dancing, it's a tradition passed down from father to son - as were his dancing shoes. His dance floor? An 8 by 4 piece of plywood or the roof of his canine companion Duke's doghouse.

His venue? The front yard, the den of Jesco's and Norma Jean's trailer, or any place the spirit moves.

But dancing isn't the only phenomenon that emanates from the cabin. On quiet nights, legend has it, you can hear the echoes of vintage Elvis tunes careening off the walls of Jesco's Elvis room and through the mountains of Boone county. Jesco belts out Elvis tunes as only a true King can. It's a beautiful thing, man.       Jesco's unique mountain wisdom and talents (and tattoos) have not gone unnoticed. His jewels of wisdom are downright profound. His talents have made him the subject of two documentary films and scored him an appearance with Dweezil Zappa ("Weezil" as Jesco puts it) as a country cousin on the "The Roseanne Show." (The tattoos were a big hit, just ask Tom Arnold.)
 Jesco's Jewels of Mountain Wisdom:

"I enjoyed myself from within myself on behalf of myself"

"My past is coming up into my future and messing with my good life"


« Last Edit: November 15, 2006, 08:19:36 AM by Ebrandon »

Offline nickjtc

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2006, 07:55:25 PM »
......the patriarch of the family, as introduced by one of the kids, is 'Uncle Dad'.
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Offline mrbreeze

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2006, 08:11:53 PM »
Holy s%$#!!!!!!!........Shop at the dollar store so you don't have to get all dressed up to go to Walmart? Now that's funny!!!!!.....I don't care who you are!!!!
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Offline ic455

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2006, 08:41:35 PM »
The pic with the riding mower on the back of the car is grossly inaccurate.  Everbody knows that all rednecks have pickup trucks.  It's a law.  Really. 8)

Offline seaweb11

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2006, 09:23:37 PM »
I hope Neil Young will remember,
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow"
--Lynyrd Skynyrd
 

Offline nickjtc

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #10 on: November 15, 2006, 06:23:24 AM »
OK, US members, is it true that readnecks only drink Coors products?? Up here Budweiser seems to be the beverage du jour of the great unwashed.
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Offline Rushoid

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #11 on: November 15, 2006, 07:47:38 AM »
Around here we...er...I mean... they drink mostly Bud, but it really doesn't matter.

 ;)
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Offline ic455

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2006, 05:05:04 PM »
I hope Neil Young will remember,
A Southern man don't need him around anyhow"
--Lynyrd Skynyrd
 

Hey, I resemble that remark ;D

Offline ic455

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2006, 05:07:37 PM »
OK, US members, is it true that readnecks only drink Coors products?? Up here Budweiser seems to be the beverage du jour of the great unwashed.

like rushoid says, it doesn't really matter, as long as it's alcohol.....Bud is pretty much on top of things, as far as what I've seen.  Now, the "unwashed" that I know only drink Natty Light.  If anybody knows to which beer I'm referring, you are a "son of the south" and probably live pretty close to me ;)

Offline ElCheapo

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #14 on: November 18, 2006, 09:21:22 AM »
You might be a Redneck if....

Your wedding reception was a trap shoot  ;D Fact it happened here recently.  ;D
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Offline Rsnip988

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #15 on: November 19, 2006, 11:46:57 AM »
good ones


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Offline Jonesy

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Re: You might be a redneck if.....
« Reply #16 on: November 19, 2006, 04:01:11 PM »
You might be a Redneck if....

Your wedding reception was a trap shoot ;D Fact it happened here recently. ;D

I was best man at my buddy's wedding a few years ago and the ceremony/reception was held outdoors at a state recreation area. Within earshot there is a DNR shooting range. It was kind of odd to hear wedding vows exchanged amid muffled gunfire.

To this day I tease him about hold a psuedo shotgun wedding.
"Every time I start thinking the world is all bad, then I start seeing people out there having a good time on motorcycles; it makes me take another look." -Steve McQueen