Topic: Bad Pick Up Lines

[Einyodeler]

Pick-up lines you might want to avoid using at the local bar!

1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your #$%* just to see where it came from.

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go #$%*.

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I'll give you the meat.

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
 Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you."
 Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

18. #$%* me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

22. I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

27. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

[aptech77]

30. There is a party in my pants and you're invited

[ElCheapo]

Hello may name is __________
My buddy over there...._________(you wave at him and like a dip he waves back) 
He is a real pig (shake your head), But ,we have a bet going..............

He thinks he is Pychic...........
He thinks he can guess the color of your underwear.

I bet him he can not....I need your help because I can not loose another $20 to this fool.

A small chuckle from her and you. She wants to prove you both wrong. But to do so............

Make your guess
She is glad to make you wrong.,and will tell you in an instant.

Then ask for some level verification, because you can not pay out on a bet or claim it unless there is proof.

Let's say, back in the day I was about 75% correct most times (read Cosmo and colors just come to you) and got a verification 99% of the time. 1% straight face slap like a dog.

HEHE

If you are a woman and have a problem with this one then there are opening in Habits allover the world............

[Jonesy]

31. Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

32. Do you have a library card?
cuz I'd like to sign you out.

33. Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

34. I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer " bed-rock."

35. Yer eyes are as blue & pretty as window cleaner.

36. If yer gunna regret this in the mornin,
we kin sleep til afternoon.

37. Yer face reminds me of a wrench,..... everytime I think of it my nuts tighten up!