Topic: Swearing At Work

[RevDoc]

To all Employees:
It has been brought to Management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings you are when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 new and innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and Information can continue to flow in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

5) TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You,
Human Resources

Have a Wonderful DAY ! ! !

[70CB750]

I just don't understand him

instead of:  He is a total moron.

[vfourfreak]

No doubt we will discover some minor bugs during system testing.

instead of :

This is a complete pile of sh**e, the whole thing needs to be rewritten.

[dusterdude]

This would go over like a lead brick where i work

Sent from my LG-D850 using Tapatalk

[Stev-o]

TRY:   The new girl in accounting is very nice.

Instead of:  That new #$%* who cuts the checks if #$%*ing hot!

[vfourfreak]

In my last few weeks as a corporate slut slave I got a little "demob happy" and fundamentally commenced to not give a sh1t as the (generous) severance package had already been agreed.

So one day I'm on a conference call with a team in India and a team in Austin, Texas. I represented Europe. What fun.

Anyways, the call swung round to finding a solution for a pressing business issue. In the absence of any suggestions from the 20 or so other people on the call, I cast out a possible way forward. Almost everyone objected, citing that it would not be "easy".
From the dark distant past a phrase from my youth in Ireland sprung to mind, and being from the 1960s it was of course utterly un PC. I said "Sure if it was easy we'd get girls to do it".
The saying "you could have heard a pin drop" was most apt.

My career has never recovered.

Kev

[754]

At least you didnt say,
If it was easy, we could get the Cee U Next Tueday, s..... up front to do it..