"While strolling round the Harbour this morning about 11 am., I noticed this character shouting "Allah be praised" and "Death to all infidels" and suddenly he tripped and fell into the water.
He was struggling to stay afloat because of all the explosives he was carrying. If he didn't get help he would surely drown. Being a responsible citizen, and abiding by the law of the land that requires you to help those in distress, I informed the Police, the Sheriff, the Coastguard, the Immigration Office and even the Fire Department.
It is now 4 p.m., the terrorist has drowned, and none of the authorities have yet to respond.
I'm starting to think I wasted those four stamps."