So here is what I did.
I went a ahead and took that hydraulic jack, put a piece of 2X4 on it, and wrenched the bike on its center-stand up enough to slide a cinderblock and another plank underneath. A few shims later, the bike was steady. It seems that many come up with the ceiling rafter idea, and I thought that was great but I have nothing strong enough to support that, so my dad held the thing for quite awhile as I got the wheel off, the caliper, and the rest of the mess just to get those forks off. As I suspected, a frozen one was the culprit, but one worked perfectly and was a full 3 inches longer. I put the new ones on, and suddenly I'm just a few weeks away from having this long project done with.... except for the oil leak of unknown severity.
Cheers,
Lawrence