So, I've been told to chill out and that all the sarcasm is in good fun only. In fact, Cal personally instructed me to loosen up and give it back to him like when we hang. Okay. So here is my attempt to be one of the gang. In good fun. My intent is not to cross the line but run with the big dogs. Like my mechanic skills, I'm sure I'll fall short of the experts here and be reminded as such over and over. But I can't be mean as you all, so this is G-rated.
(Throat clear.)
Listen Big Bird with a toolbox, no one told you to adorn those musty Crocs and emerge from your crick in the sticks and roam the Atlantic states on a Sunday looking for your motorcycle fix. Was Krispy Kreme not serving in VA Sunday?
Earth to Cal, it was "Father's Day" not "Further Day." But, I completely understand if your peeps gifted you a tank full of gas and map to the Queen City. I understand them. My kind of folks. Did they shout a southern plea to "go yonder pops" as you drove off in hopes of not having to share another meal where you spin the yarn thick on how you once wired an M-Unit in the dark? Lucky me, you selected the map.
Welch on the bet? What bet? Oh, you think I listen to you when you speak to me? That continuous up and down nodding when we hang isn't a confirmation of understanding, it's me trying to stay awake or extinguish my burning hair when you teach me to weld.
I arrived late purposely under the order of my cardiologist. He said the water around my heart has expanded 25% since meeting you for meals. Smash Burgers, sweet potato fries and vanilla shakes are making my arteries stiffer than the shaft drive on one of your beat up BMW RS-Whatever's.
And, sure, I had a barrage of questions. I was mumbling "why me?" but did you actually count 60 times? Apologies, I didn't realize I was saying it out loud.
Yea, the bike was a little low on oil, you would be too if you had to carry my 265 lbs on a hot June day for 120 miles after not running for four years. And, I don't know, I'm just saying, anyone who makes runs from Virginia to Florida and back as often as you do has more than 20W50 stashed in that trunk! Headlights for mom my ass! I'm thinking Blue Ridge moonshine or shall I say medicinal herbs. Close?
As for our departure, gosh darn man, I killed my running light, swerved lanes and hit 8k RPM and I still couldn't shake you. Don't you take a hint? Now, 30 minutes? Come on. It was more like 3 minutes. Is your dyslexia kicking in again? I know you have it because every part you installed on "Sallie" was put on backwards! "Instructions? Instructions? We don't need no stinking instructions!" (20 minute time lapse.) "Hey, what did you do with those instructions?"
As far as the last nick name afforded me in this thread, you and Maxine Waters are the only two I know to comfortably use that harsh phrase so easily in public! Ick. You kiss your lovely wife with that Dirty South mouth? As they say in your holler, Bless Your Heart.
Until we meet again!
Did I pass the test? That was kinda fun but not my nature.
