Once the stem is installed, the adjustment nut can be tightened up to insure the races are seated, 15ft/lbs should be adequate, and the triple turned back and forth. Re-tighten to 15 ft/lbs; if the nut moves, the bearings have shifted, so turn the triple back and forth again. If it doesn't move with the same torque, the bearings are seated, and you can move on to setting the pre-load. Loosen the nut, then tighten it up to .7-1.4 ft/lbs. You can get all scientific with a spring scale, but this is less than the torque to open a pickle jar; just snug it up by hand.
When the pre-load is correct, it should take only a slight pressure to move the triple, like with a pinky finger.
Note: this assumes that the adjustment is made without the front wheel and forks installed.