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what about simon garfunk wagnall??
'Ere's whatcha do, Guvna', just throw a couple dookie logs in the hearth and bob's your uncle!
I had a pointless thought while riding on a bumpy road last night. It might fit here. Do you deal with the jarring by clenching your teeth together or by hanging your jaw open? I use the slack jaw method
so, you say just tie myself on with this... and steer w/ this? ok. where's my goggles?