Are you embarrassed when colleagues walk by your office and see you spitting coffee all over your screen. Next time, try this:
Just as you notice them looking at you, grab your chest and fall to the floor. Be sure not to respond to their repeated attempts to illicit your current state with "Are you OK?" or other inane questions.
It takes dedication but if you can refrain from moving when they start compressions, you are home free. No one will ever make a comment about you spitting on your screen and you get a free ride with the lights on.
Disclaimer: Side effects include, but are not limited to, fractured/ broken ribs, colleague spit on your mouth, severe electrical burns on and about the chest, and death. (not necessarily in that order). Please consult your local mental healthcare professional before attempting this procedure. Any and all outcomes of attempts are the sole responsibility of the performing party. Cvillechopper, Inc. does not endorse, perform, or even know of anyone that has successfully performed this procedure. Good luck.
