One of my favourite drinks has always been snakebite, which is half lager, half cider with a dash of blackcurrant so......
My next plan is to do away with water altogether ( fish frollick in it you know), and make a batch of snakebite using a can of lager concentrate and apple/blackcurrant juice, one sachet each of appropriate yeast for lager and cider, shedloads of maltose
This should produce something approximating the flavour I'm after AND about 10% alc/vol
So, we'll have no more talk about this pointless watery substance, I've shown the way forward my children, go out and follow my lead