Ha ha, pump yourself up Dave! I'm happy to report that I'm a crap rider, but have been reasonably lucky over the years not to kill myself. I have had some spectacular crashes though, in 1978 I T Boned a HK Monaro on my brother's BMW R75/5 when the cockhead in the Monaro did a U turn in front of me (and then sued ME for damages) and I got some wicked air as I flew over the roof of the car and finished up around 40 feet from the car. The BMW's left hand cylinder head opened up the door and front fender of the Monaro like a can opener, and the only damage to the BMW was a busted fibreglass front fender, and bent forks.
The forks weren't that noticeable until my brother roared up our driveway and went to turn right, and couldn't as the wheel was hitting the front of the engine. Ooops..... I broke a finger, had some road rash on my knees and butt, and took the elbow out of my brother's new "Marlon Brando" jacket that he's only been given that day. (his birthday) Even though it wasn't my fault, he was pretty pissed off with me.
Then a few weeks later I (drunk as a skunk) had another go at taking myself out of the gene pool when I hit a gutter, mounted the sidewalk and smashed thru a small tree and into a sign pole @ 90 MPH on my shiny new CB750F. (it was a NOS 1975 model) It was about 10 pm in a quiet neighbourhood, and the only person who came outside to see what had happened was an old Italian lady, who, on seeing a downed biker and wrecked bike, turned around and went back into her house and turned off her porch light. I picked myself up, and stood my bike up. The alternator cover was smashed and oil was poring out, so I pushed it home.
I was on duty the next morning, so I fronted up for work in my best summer uniform, but I obviously didn't look too good, so the Duty NCO sent me down to the Regimental Aid Post (RAP) and the nurse there took one look and sent me off for XRays, it turned out that I'd busted all my ribs on my right hand side as I went thru the tree and hit the pole. Oh well, live (just) and learn.............
