And by that, I mean "F*ck me, and f*ck this damn clutch lifter plate."
I swear I made sure it was ALL lined up, splines on the hub and pressure plate lined up, everything good, and snuck up on tightening the bolts as much as I could. I felt two of the 4 bolts bottom out. On the third one: "Crack".
When I stop drinking, some time tomorrow, I'll start looking for another one.