Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 150320 times)

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1300 on:** March 10, 2023, 03:10:21 AM »

What’s the difference between a gun and a whiny liberal?
A gun only has one trigger.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1301 on:** March 10, 2023, 03:12:19 AM »

Know what the difference between eggs and you are?
Eggs are going to get laid.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1302 on:** March 10, 2023, 03:13:35 AM »

If a woman sleeps with 10 guys she’s called or considered a slut.
If a man does it, he’s gay, he’s definitely gay.

dhall57 · « **Reply #1303 on:** March 12, 2023, 03:26:48 AM »

I always thought it was a banana I was eating with my cereal every morning $:-\$

dave500 · « **Reply #1304 on:** March 14, 2023, 12:13:01 AM »

I wish

70CB750 · « **Reply #1305 on:** March 14, 2023, 02:28:54 AM »

I have a newborn son. Twenty inches and 5 pounds 8 ounces. Friends keep congratulating me; I wish one of them would tell me how to break the news to my wife.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1306 on:** March 14, 2023, 08:32:45 AM »

Got a text from my wife saying it was over we were breaking up.
I little while later she texted, “sorry disregard earlier message, wrong number”.

70CB750 · « **Reply #1307 on:** March 14, 2023, 03:03:28 PM »

Quote from: RAFster122s on March 14, 2023, 08:32:45 AM

Got a text from my wife saying it was over we were breaking up.
I little while later she texted, “sorry disregard earlier message, wrong number”.

Don R · « **Reply #1308 on:** March 14, 2023, 05:44:45 PM »

Only my wife can diagnose a furnace problem when it's set on 72 and the inside temp is 72. I was ready to take a break from the bike anyway.

70CB750 · « **Reply #1309 on:** March 15, 2023, 06:00:45 AM »

The fire chief walks into the crew room:

"Get ready boys, no rush. Only the IRS is on fire."

dave500 · « **Reply #1310 on:** March 24, 2023, 02:27:08 AM »

I was talking to a real dedicated surfer,he told me how it makes him feel real spiritual,how hes at one with the ocean and how it feels like the waves stole his soul,i asked was it a crime wave?

Don R · « **Reply #1311 on:** March 29, 2023, 11:11:07 AM »

I told my sister she drew her eyebrows on too high,
she looked surprised.

jgger · « **Reply #1312 on:** March 29, 2023, 12:49:28 PM »

A young boy was begging his mom to take him to McDonald's. She got to the point where she couldn't take it anymore so she told him "if you can spell McDonald's, I will take you there".

He thought hard for about 15 minutes then said "f#×@ it mom, take me to KFC"!

dave500 · « **Reply #1313 on:** March 29, 2023, 11:55:54 PM »

we say Maccas here,aussies abbreviate everything!i mean shorten.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1314 on:** March 30, 2023, 12:29:21 AM »

In America it is fondly known as 'Mickey D's
There's a kid song someone dreamed up about Mickey D's that one version goes,

McDonald's is your kind of place
Hamburgers in your face
French Fries between your toes
Hot pickles up your nose
And don't forget their Martian shakes
They come from outer space
McDonald's is your kind of place.

Don R · « **Reply #1315 on:** March 30, 2023, 03:16:31 PM »

Craftsmanship isn't a boat sold at Sears.

Don R · « **Reply #1316 on:** March 30, 2023, 06:52:04 PM »

Chili peppers don't practice archery because they don't habanero.

Don R · « **Reply #1317 on:** March 30, 2023, 10:12:09 PM »

My male member was in the Guinness book of world records,

Then the librarian insisted I take it back out.

PeWe · « **Reply #1318 on:** March 31, 2023, 07:15:39 AM »

mmmmm, food!

dhall57 · « **Reply #1319 on:** April 02, 2023, 03:22:08 AM »

RAFster122s · « **Reply #1320 on:** April 02, 2023, 03:23:37 AM »

dhall57 · « **Reply #1321 on:** April 04, 2023, 02:36:33 PM »

Magpie · « **Reply #1322 on:** April 06, 2023, 07:49:04 AM »

Paddy is out for a ride on his vintage single when it just quit running. He can't get it going. He hears a voice behind him "change the spark plug!". Looking behind him he sees a brown horse. He ignores the voice and continues to trouble shoot. Again he hears "change the spark plug!" Turning around all he sees in a brown horse. So, Paddy changes the spark plug and the bike starts and runs fine! Paddy is now quite confused so he rides to the nearest pub and orders a triple whisky. Seeing the look on Paddy's face the bar tender asks him what's going on. Paddy describes his encounter with the horse. The bat tender asks Paddy what colour the talking horse was. Brown says Paddy. Ah, says the bartender, good thing it wasn't the white one, he doesn't know #$%* about motorcycles!

PeWe · « **Reply #1323 on:** April 06, 2023, 09:33:10 AM »

Horse power!

Ichiban 4 · « **Reply #1324 on:** April 14, 2023, 12:56:41 PM »

Quote from: jgger on March 29, 2023, 12:49:28 PM

A young boy was begging his mom to take him to McDonald's. She got to the point where she couldn't take it anymore so she told him "if you can spell McDonald's, I will take you there".

He thought hard for about 15 minutes then said "f#×@ it mom, take me to KFC"!

____________________________________________________________________________________________________

Just reading over this today..

in Japan..McDonald's is pronounced "Macudo". Japanese tend to abbreviate a lot of words also..especially ones from other cultures.
BTW: "Macudo" is everywhere in Japan..the most popular sandwich tho is the fish "sando" (again abbreviation for sandwich).

Cheers..

Ichi

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Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 150320 times)