Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 105623 times)

jgger · « **Reply #25 on:** August 07, 2020, 09:56:48 PM »

Saw this today

Don R · « **Reply #26 on:** August 07, 2020, 11:50:12 PM »

Guy walks into a bar, he's carrying jumper cables. Bartender says hey buddy, don't try to start anything in here.

Don R · « **Reply #27 on:** August 07, 2020, 11:53:07 PM »

A guy with amnesia walks into a bar, asks the bartender do I come here often?

The Sovereign Man · « **Reply #28 on:** August 08, 2020, 01:08:06 AM »

Dog 1: Why do all the humans now have to wear muzzles?
Dog 2: Because they wouldn’t sit and stay.

Too soon for COVID humour? Apologies.

Old Moe Toe · « **Reply #29 on:** August 10, 2020, 11:24:17 PM »

Chris Rea and Dire Straits are coming out of retirement and joining up to form a super group.
Will be called diarrhoea.

Don R · « **Reply #30 on:** August 13, 2020, 07:32:01 PM »

Older parents are staying at their son's house and stumble on viagra in the medicine cabinet. The Dad asks the son about it. Son says I don't know Dad, it's pretty powerful and costs about $10 a pill it might be too much for you. Dad says, maybe I'll try one and pay you the $10. The next morning as they are heading home the Dad hands his son $110. The son says Dad, it's only $10 a pill. Dad says I know, the hundred is from your Mom.

Don R · « **Reply #31 on:** August 22, 2020, 01:26:20 AM »

What's it called when a chameleon can't change his colors? A reptile dysfunction.

70CB750 · « **Reply #32 on:** August 22, 2020, 03:42:19 AM »

How high you should be before you jump with a parachute?

I say three days of steady drinking should do it.

dhall57 · « **Reply #33 on:** August 22, 2020, 08:49:43 AM »

I went to the store to buy some camouflage clothes, but I didn't see any.

Don R · « **Reply #34 on:** August 23, 2020, 09:04:42 AM »

I got fired from the calendar factory, I took a day off.

My friend was shocked to discover that I'm a poor electrician.

I accidentally handed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick. She still isn't talking to me.

70CB750 · « **Reply #35 on:** August 24, 2020, 05:03:51 AM »

What's it called when a chameleon can't change his colors?

A reptile dysfunction.

70CB750 · « **Reply #36 on:** August 24, 2020, 05:05:22 AM »

So a burglar broke into the house.

I put the red dot on his chest and the cat did the rest.

70CB750 · « **Reply #37 on:** August 24, 2020, 05:06:53 AM »

I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart, while they've never even seen one of his paintings.

70CB750 · « **Reply #38 on:** August 24, 2020, 08:32:43 AM »

70CB750 · « **Reply #39 on:** August 24, 2020, 10:42:55 AM »

Holubs · « **Reply #40 on:** August 24, 2020, 10:56:45 AM »

Couldn't resist...

Don R · « **Reply #41 on:** August 24, 2020, 06:22:40 PM »

jgger · « **Reply #42 on:** August 25, 2020, 09:47:53 AM »

As long as we seem to be into "Dad" jokes.

Don R · « **Reply #43 on:** August 25, 2020, 04:23:32 PM »

My first Dad joke as told to me by my grade school daughter who is now perilously close to 40,

How does the snowman pay his bills?
Cold cash.

dhall57 · « **Reply #44 on:** August 25, 2020, 04:36:59 PM »

Mars to the planet Saturn, give me a ring sometime

Greaser Greg · « **Reply #45 on:** August 25, 2020, 07:28:12 PM »

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Where's the bar tender?"
Think about it.

dave500 · « **Reply #46 on:** August 26, 2020, 12:51:44 AM »

i went to the doctor and told him i think theres something wrong with my hearing,he said describe the symptoms,i said Homer is a fat bald guy and Marge has a green dress and big blue hair.

70CB750 · « **Reply #47 on:** August 26, 2020, 02:52:51 AM »

70CB750 · « **Reply #48 on:** August 26, 2020, 02:54:28 AM »

I can relate to this one alright, both sides actually

onepieceatatime · « **Reply #49 on:** August 26, 2020, 04:45:54 AM »

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

News:

Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 105623 times)

The Sovereign Man