Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 105624 times)

Don R · « **on:** July 24, 2020, 02:59:30 PM »

I thought there was one once but didn't find it in a search.

I'll start with a true story. My late Drag racing mentor owned a garage, a lady he knew came in and complained her Honda car died at the same stop sign every morning. He told her "don't go that way"

Don R · « **Reply #1 on:** July 24, 2020, 08:07:03 PM »

Anybody else? Hey, is this mic turned on?

HondaMan · « **Reply #2 on:** July 24, 2020, 08:48:28 PM »

Quote from: Don R on July 24, 2020, 08:07:03 PM

Anybody else? Hey, is this mic turned on?

Oh, sorry, I'll work on it!
After the week we just had, don't have one...

CaptFatCat · « **Reply #3 on:** July 25, 2020, 01:37:04 AM »

Here is a pile of new Harley mufflers...potato potato potato.

madmtnmotors · « **Reply #4 on:** July 25, 2020, 05:29:29 AM »

Lost my mood ring today...

not sure how I feel about it.

Don R · « **Reply #5 on:** July 25, 2020, 09:18:30 AM »

Made me smile, Thanks I needed that.

I tripped over my wifes bra, booby trap.

Steve F · « **Reply #6 on:** July 25, 2020, 09:29:54 AM »

A lady takes her car to the mechanic, and later goes to pick it up. The mechanic told her we couldn't fix your brakes so we made your horn louder.

2wheels · « **Reply #7 on:** July 27, 2020, 10:04:23 AM »

edit to fit

madmtnmotors · « **Reply #8 on:** July 28, 2020, 04:42:48 AM »

A snake walks into a bar.

The bartender says "how did you do that?"

Don R · « **Reply #9 on:** July 28, 2020, 08:08:22 AM »

A short guy walks under a bar.

Don R · « **Reply #10 on:** July 28, 2020, 08:16:04 AM »

An E flat walks into a bar, bartender says sorry, we don't serve minors.

BomberMann650 · « **Reply #11 on:** July 28, 2020, 04:51:54 PM »

Clicked this thread and was pleased to discover my screen name didn't come up.

2wheels · « **Reply #12 on:** July 29, 2020, 07:53:54 AM »

Definition of a farmer. Someone who is out standing in his (or her) field.
(yes bombermann, your cow made me remember this one) (and now your screenname is up)

Don R · « **Reply #13 on:** July 29, 2020, 11:46:49 AM »

A sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here.

70CB750 · « **Reply #14 on:** July 29, 2020, 12:25:57 PM »

Did you hear about the bread factory burning down?

They said the business is toast.

Steve F · « **Reply #15 on:** July 29, 2020, 07:54:37 PM »

A couple of strings walk into the bar. The bartender looks at the strings and says "we don't serve strings here, get out!"
So, the strings go outside, and still thirsty looking for a way to disguise themselves, one string says
"Tie your end into a knot and unravel and frazzle the end like this" So they tie up the end into a knot and fray out the loose end.

They walk back into the bar and the bartender gives them the stink eye, and suspiciously asks them "you aren't any of those strings are ya? We don't serve strings here."
To which they replied, "no, were a frayed knot".

Don R · « **Reply #16 on:** July 30, 2020, 07:40:58 AM »

A chameleon walks into a bar, tells the bartender if my wife calls, you don't see me.

CaptFatCat · « **Reply #17 on:** July 31, 2020, 05:47:45 AM »

A five dollar bill walks into a bar, the bar tender says "get the hell out of here, this is a singles club!"

70CB750 · « **Reply #18 on:** July 31, 2020, 07:23:16 AM »

My farmer friend used his stimulus money to bu baby chickens.

He got his money for nothing and his chicks for free.

333 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 04, 2020, 09:04:27 PM »

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese plant? Da Brie was everywhere.

70CB750 · « **Reply #20 on:** August 05, 2020, 03:07:06 AM »

If liar pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be more fun.

Don R · « **Reply #21 on:** August 05, 2020, 03:40:13 PM »

HondaMan · « **Reply #22 on:** August 06, 2020, 05:47:04 PM »

Quote from: 70CB750 on August 05, 2020, 03:07:06 AM

If liar pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be more fun.

Gman · « **Reply #23 on:** August 06, 2020, 08:33:03 PM »

Guy walks into a library and nervously slinks over to a librarian. In an anxious voice he asks, "Excuse me, but do you have any books on paranoia?"

The librarian replies, "We do; they're right behind you."

ewanhughes · « **Reply #24 on:** August 07, 2020, 08:19:54 AM »

An oldie but goodie

Duck walks into a bar...

"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"
"No...and if you ask me again i'll nail your beak to the bar"
"Got any nails?"
"No"
"Got any bread?"

News:

Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 105624 times)