Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 196680 times)

Don R · « **Reply #50 on:** August 26, 2020, 07:56:34 AM »

Why did the turkey cross the road?

It was the chickens day off.

Don R · « **Reply #51 on:** August 27, 2020, 10:27:35 PM »

So the guy on facebook says my speedo reads 10 mph different than my phone app. Thinks it's because his 77 has a different sprocket count than the 48 tooth one he read about. 10 or so posts later no one had yet told him his speedometer runs off the front wheel. Everyone got busy explaining the sprockets but not the cable that goes to the engine being the tach. Poor guy. One guy did a good job of explaining how the gauge works and why an old one might read off.
That's why I joined here, I saw a guy get what I thought was poor advise and had to chime in. Guess I'm just an old busybody.

Don R · « **Reply #52 on:** August 28, 2020, 08:15:25 AM »

My Daughter and her husband just bought a house with a pond and a pool. The seller likes frogs and encouraged the frog population to the point that the pool has a frog ramp so they can leave on their own after a swim.

Don R · « **Reply #53 on:** August 30, 2020, 04:59:28 PM »

Will glass coffins be popular? Remains to be seen.

CBJoe · « **Reply #54 on:** August 30, 2020, 05:54:08 PM »

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall
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Dam

CBJoe · « **Reply #55 on:** August 30, 2020, 05:54:58 PM »

Whats the last thing that went through the bugs mind as it hit the windshield
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its A$$

dave500 · « **Reply #56 on:** August 30, 2020, 07:37:58 PM »

i applied for a job as a chiropractor,they asked if i have any qualifications and i replied no but ill have a crack at it.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #57 on:** August 30, 2020, 08:20:01 PM »

Monday

Spanner 1 · « **Reply #58 on:** August 30, 2020, 08:54:57 PM »

The worst pub I ever went to was 'The Fiddle '..... it was a vile inn .

Don R · « **Reply #59 on:** August 31, 2020, 07:56:46 PM »

Today I gave away my dead batteries, they were free of charge.

I had to stop crushing cans, it was soda pressing.

dave500 · « **Reply #60 on:** August 31, 2020, 09:51:33 PM »

two teenage kids got nabbed by cops,one was drinking battery acid and the other eating fire crackers,one got let off the other got charged.

dave500 · « **Reply #61 on:** August 31, 2020, 09:52:28 PM »

a third was drinking brake fluid but said he wasnt hooked on it,he could stop any time he wanted.

dave500 · « **Reply #62 on:** August 31, 2020, 09:54:16 PM »

my wife just told me shes going to the beauty parlor,i asked what to get a quote?thats how got i got the black eye.

70CB750 · « **Reply #63 on:** September 01, 2020, 02:46:16 AM »

I asked her why is she watching cooking channel since she does not know how to cook.

She asked me why I watch porn.

CBJoe · « **Reply #64 on:** September 01, 2020, 08:16:18 AM »

Quote from: onepieceatatime on August 26, 2020, 04:45:54 AM

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

Whats brown and sounds like a bell?
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DUNGGGGGG

dave500 · « **Reply #65 on:** September 01, 2020, 01:55:35 PM »

my wife said if you really loved me youd spend more money on things that make me beautiful,i said ok more beer it is then!thats when i got the second black eye.

dave500 · « **Reply #66 on:** September 01, 2020, 03:08:10 PM »

i was driving with my wife when a cop stopped us and asked if this car has one of those faulty takata air bags,i said no but its a got a more dangerous air bag on the passenger seat,thats how my nose got broken.

333 · « **Reply #67 on:** September 01, 2020, 07:21:02 PM »

For you old timers;

Lawrence Welk had 4 daughters. Anna 1, Anna 2, Anna 3, Anna 4

scottly · « **Reply #68 on:** September 01, 2020, 08:04:15 PM »

Thank you, Stan.

RAFster122s · « **Reply #69 on:** September 01, 2020, 09:17:30 PM »

Who need enemies with a wife like this...

The Lone Builder · « **Reply #70 on:** September 02, 2020, 12:33:13 AM »

Guy walks into a bar, and says, “Ouch!” It was an iron bar.

Don R · « **Reply #71 on:** September 03, 2020, 07:17:52 PM »

I asked a lady how she met her husband, she said she worked in a pharmacy and he came in and asked for condoms in XXXXXXL. She married him right away and realized later that he stutters.

70CB750 · « **Reply #72 on:** September 04, 2020, 02:42:24 AM »

Quote from: Don R on September 03, 2020, 07:17:52 PM

I asked a lady how she met her husband, she said she worked in a pharmacy and he came in and asked for condoms in XXXXXXL. She married him right away and realized later that he stutters.

LOL!

dave500 · « **Reply #73 on:** September 04, 2020, 03:01:53 AM »

i used to think i was indecisive?but now im not so sure?

dave500 · « **Reply #74 on:** September 04, 2020, 03:05:40 AM »

i had a #$%* of a drill sargeant when i was in the army,he bellowed in my face one day "I DIDNT SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING!!!!!!"
i replied thank you sir.

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Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day. (Read 196680 times)