Author Topic: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.  (Read 105650 times)

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Offline spotty

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1600 on: February 04, 2024, 01:57:12 PM »
New paint job.  ;D

i like that, zombie intercept vehicle
i blame Terry

Offline Don R

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1601 on: February 12, 2024, 10:01:58 AM »
 I was surprised to learn that garbage men don't get any training. They just pick it up along the way.
No matter how many times you paint over a shadow, it's still there.
 CEO at the no kill motorcycle shop.
 You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

Offline grcamna2

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1602 on: February 12, 2024, 10:44:19 AM »
I was surprised to learn that garbage men don't get any training. They just pick it up along the way.

LOL  ;D ;D  Here in the USA,it's a 'crash course'  :D

I see quite a similarity in the sound of the dumpsters getting banged around,to the sound that 2 automobiles make when they crash into each other.  :D ;D
« Last Edit: February 12, 2024, 10:46:46 AM by grcamna2 »
75' CB400F/'bunch o' parts' & 81' CB125S modded to a 'CB200S'
  I love the small ones too !
Do your BEST...nobody can take that away from you.

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1603 on: February 14, 2024, 01:03:14 PM »
A Little 10-year-old girl was walking home, alone, from school one day, when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her.
After following along for a while, turns to her and asks,
"Hey there little girl, do you want to go for a ride?"
"NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking.
The motorcyclist again pulls up beside her and asks,
"Hey little girl, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back."
"NO!" says the little girl again as she hurries down the street.
The motorcyclist pulls up beside the little girl again and says,
"Okay kid, my last offer! I'll give you 20 Bucks "and" a Big Bag of Candy if you will just hop on the back of my bike and we will go for a ride."
Finally, the little girl stops and turns towards him and Screams Out...
"Look Dad" "You're the one who bought the Honda instead of the Harley... YOU RIDE IT!!".......
Prokop
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I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
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Offline jgger

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1604 on: February 15, 2024, 01:33:44 PM »
I don't know why the wife sent me this🙁
"The SOHC4 uses a computer located about 2-3 ft above the seat.  Those sometimes need additional programming." -stolen from  Two Tired

The difference between an ass kisser and brown noser is merely depth perception.  Stolen from RAFster122s

Offline jgger

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1605 on: February 16, 2024, 01:04:37 PM »
I got this from thr FJR forum...........it might be good advice for some of you!


New 

I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not having any of it. After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up-- 3 of them. I picked out a likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold.

The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a step away. I put a little tension on the rope, and then received an education. The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there looking at you funny while you rope it, they are spurred to action when you start pulling on that rope.

That deer EXPLODED. The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined. The only upside is that they do not have as much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of responsibility for the situation we were in. I didn't want the deer to have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind of like a squeeze chute. I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope back.

Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when ..... I reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they just bite you and slide off to then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head--almost like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was ineffective.

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my final lesson in deer behavior for the day.

Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves are surprisingly sharp... I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.

I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away. So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a scope......to sort of even the odds!!

All these events are true so help me God...An Educated Farmer

"The SOHC4 uses a computer located about 2-3 ft above the seat.  Those sometimes need additional programming." -stolen from  Two Tired

The difference between an ass kisser and brown noser is merely depth perception.  Stolen from RAFster122s

Offline grcamna2

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1606 on: February 16, 2024, 01:54:08 PM »
 ;D
75' CB400F/'bunch o' parts' & 81' CB125S modded to a 'CB200S'
  I love the small ones too !
Do your BEST...nobody can take that away from you.

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1607 on: February 17, 2024, 08:54:00 AM »
 :)
Prokop
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I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
Sidecar


CB900C

2006 KLR650

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1608 on: February 27, 2024, 11:47:10 AM »
 :P
Prokop
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Pure Gas - find ethanol free gas station near you

I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
Sidecar


CB900C

2006 KLR650

Offline Steve F

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1609 on: February 27, 2024, 02:32:23 PM »
I was surprised to learn that garbage men don't get any training. They just pick it up along the way.

LOL  ;D ;D  Here in the USA,it's a 'crash course'  :D

I see quite a similarity in the sound of the dumpsters getting banged around,to the sound that 2 automobiles make when they crash into each other.  :D ;D
Reminds me of that old neighborhood I used to live in where there was a church on the corner opposite my house and every Wednesday morning at 4 o'clock the garbage truck was there to empty the two roll-away dumpsters.  BANG-BANG-BOOM-CRASH BOOM!!! and that was just the first one.  I finally called the trash company responsible and reminded them they were in a residential neighborhood and should not be making unnecessary noise before 6:30.

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1610 on: March 19, 2024, 11:37:29 AM »
 :)
Prokop
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Pure Gas - find ethanol free gas station near you

I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
Sidecar


CB900C

2006 KLR650

Offline HondaMan

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1611 on: April 03, 2024, 06:45:58 PM »
See SOHC4shop@gmail.com for info about the gadgets I make for these bikes.

The demons are repulsed when a man does good. Use that.
Blood is thicker than water, but motor oil is thicker yet...so, don't mess with my SOHC4, or I might have to hurt you.
Hondaman's creed: "Bikers are family. Treat them accordingly."

Link to Hondaman Ignition: http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php?topic=67543.0

Link to My CB750 Book: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&page=1&pageSize=10&q=my+cb750+book

Link to website: www.SOHC4shop.com

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1612 on: April 10, 2024, 12:55:56 PM »
 ;D
Prokop
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Pure Gas - find ethanol free gas station near you

I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
Sidecar


CB900C

2006 KLR650

Offline HondaMan

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1613 on: April 10, 2024, 07:42:47 PM »
Works for me.
                         What?

See SOHC4shop@gmail.com for info about the gadgets I make for these bikes.

The demons are repulsed when a man does good. Use that.
Blood is thicker than water, but motor oil is thicker yet...so, don't mess with my SOHC4, or I might have to hurt you.
Hondaman's creed: "Bikers are family. Treat them accordingly."

Link to Hondaman Ignition: http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php?topic=67543.0

Link to My CB750 Book: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&page=1&pageSize=10&q=my+cb750+book

Link to website: www.SOHC4shop.com

Offline Kelly E

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1614 on: April 11, 2024, 05:28:31 PM »
What? 8)
Never Give Up - Never Surrender

The Rust Bros. Garage Collection
1974 Honda CB 550 K0                                            1971 MGB/GT
1975 Honda CB 400F Super Sport                          1972 MGB/GT
1977 Kawasaki KZ 1000 LTD                                   1985 GMC S15
1978 Kawasaki KL 250
1980 Suzuki GS 1100E
1982 Honda CB 900F Super Sport
1983 Honda CB 1100F
1984 Honda VF 700S Sabre
1984 Honda VF 1000F Interceptor
1990 Moto Guzzi 1000 Le Mans
1994 Kawasaki Concours ZG 1000A9
2005 Harley Davidson Fat Boy

Offline Don R

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1615 on: April 12, 2024, 06:33:19 PM »
 What him say?
No matter how many times you paint over a shadow, it's still there.
 CEO at the no kill motorcycle shop.
 You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

Offline Don R

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1616 on: April 19, 2024, 08:00:40 AM »
 The invisible man married an invisible woman,
 Their kids were nothing to look at either.
No matter how many times you paint over a shadow, it's still there.
 CEO at the no kill motorcycle shop.
 You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.

Offline RAFster122s

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1617 on: April 19, 2024, 03:18:41 PM »
 8)
The photo of the pipe contraption...Gen 2 Mini Cooper (BMW owned Mini(s) not Rover or earlier Type A motors... ). That my friends is a thermostat housing... And do you wonder why Gen 1 and Gen 2 motors were problematic? 2014 BMW finally got smarter and out a BMW designed motor in the F56 2 door Mini and the F56S was a twin turbo charged Mini...a fun motor in a fun car ...
« Last Edit: April 19, 2024, 03:21:21 PM by RAFster122s »
David- back in the desert SW!

Offline RAFster122s

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1618 on: April 19, 2024, 03:28:57 PM »
 :o
David- back in the desert SW!

Offline HondaMan

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1619 on: April 19, 2024, 05:00:34 PM »
Electric motorcycle....excellent!
:D
See SOHC4shop@gmail.com for info about the gadgets I make for these bikes.

The demons are repulsed when a man does good. Use that.
Blood is thicker than water, but motor oil is thicker yet...so, don't mess with my SOHC4, or I might have to hurt you.
Hondaman's creed: "Bikers are family. Treat them accordingly."

Link to Hondaman Ignition: http://forums.sohc4.net/index.php?topic=67543.0

Link to My CB750 Book: https://www.lulu.com/search?adult_audience_rating=00&page=1&pageSize=10&q=my+cb750+book

Link to website: www.SOHC4shop.com

Offline Ichiban 4

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1620 on: April 19, 2024, 06:31:37 PM »
Funny Stuff Rafster..LOL
Ichi
Al Summers

Present: '77 550K
Past: '73 CB450(twin), '72 CB175, '68 CB350, '58 Ariel Square 4 (1000cc), '58 Matchless Typhoon (650cc single), Whizzer Motorbikes '48 -'55 (Pacemaker & Sportsman)..Vespa, Lambretta scooters..etc.

Offline 70CB750

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1621 on: April 23, 2024, 03:28:56 AM »
 :)
Prokop
_______________
Pure Gas - find ethanol free gas station near you

I love it when parts come together.

Dorothy - my CB750
CB750K3F - The Red
Sidecar


CB900C

2006 KLR650

Offline RAFster122s

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1622 on: April 23, 2024, 09:45:50 AM »
 :-X
David- back in the desert SW!

Offline dusterdude

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1623 on: April 23, 2024, 02:02:43 PM »
I love calvin and hobbes.thanks

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mark
1972 k1 750
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Offline RAFster122s

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Re: Joke, or mood lightener of the day.
« Reply #1624 on: April 29, 2024, 04:29:28 PM »
 :-X
David- back in the desert SW!