A police officer pulled over a speeding car. The officer said, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver replied, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating?"
Not looking up from her knitting the wife, sitting next to him, said, "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer wrote out the ticket, the driver looked over at his wife and growled, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiled demurely and said, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did."
As the officer made out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowered at his wife and said through clenched teeth, "Damnit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowned and said, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver said, "Well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife said, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer was writing out the third ticket the driver turned to his wife and barked, "WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looked over at the woman and asked, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."
