Topic: My Mother died today

[grcamna2]

My family are cold,strange,controlling people who don't know how to show love.
I moved out of the house when I was 17,although I did my best to reach out to my Mother and siblings w/ my own human warmth over the years,there was no response;I'm still looking for warm people. My Mother lived on Martha's Vineyard.
I have been asking about her(her own phone wasn't being answered by the long-term live-in nurse for 8 months)to my sisters for over 6 months w/ no response;I just learned my Mother died today by a group text which my 4 sisters keep going and I happen to be included in,part time.

[Remcod]

My family are cold,strange,controlling people who don't know how to show love.
I moved away from them when I was 17,still looking for the right kind of people..
I just learned my Mother died today by a group text which my 4 sisters keep going and I happen to be included in.

Condolences mate

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[dusterdude]

So sorry to hear that,my condolences

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[Mark1976]

Sincerest sympathies,  very sorry for your loss..

[Alan F.]

All condolences Bill, we're here for you.

[newday777]

Man I'm sorry to hear that Bill.

[Johnie]

So sorry for you and the family.

[Kevin]

Condolences Bill, maybe the passing of your mother will bring your family closer together.

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[BenelliSEI]

Bill…. Sincere condolences. John D.

[grcamna2]

Thanks for the warm regards Men 

[Captainkirk]

So sorry for your loss.

[carnivorous chicken]

Condolences. I lost my mom a year ago, it was tough.

[HondaMan]

I'm sorry for your loss, Bill. It sounds like she was in poor shape for a while?

[MRieck]

 Very sorry to hear that. I've been losing good friends as well as my younger brother to COVID. Not making this about me but.....family can be absolutely crazy and unfortunately you cannot pick them. My ex sister in law ( second marriage) completely F'd me on everything my brother owned for absolutely no apparent reason. She gave all his prized possessions to other people. I only showed her respect and love.  My younger brother.....who I  loved more than anything and took care of after our mom died suddenly in 1971.....never drew up a will etc. Let that be a lesson to all you young guys!! He wasn't smart.....he was narcisstic. His second wife screwed his kids and even held back on his ashes. People can suck.....especially family.
 Sorry to hear about your loss AND especially the dysfunctional family. That's the hard part as it sounds like they are still around. Dude....it always gets better....I know that after over 50 years of living with big loss.

[grcamna2]

I'm sorry for your loss, Bill. It sounds like she was in poor shape for a while?

Yes,she drank heavily all my life(she quit drinking on her own a few years ago:drs. orders)and had numbers of strokes in the last 18 years;she had leg braces at first,then a walker and finally the electric wheel chair for the duration.
The nice Brazilian live-in caretaker/nurse would always answer the phone when I called,but that was almost a year ago.

[grcamna2]

Very sorry to hear that. I've been losing good friends as well as my younger brother to COVID. Not making this about me but.....family can be absolutely crazy and unfortunately you cannot pick them. My ex sister in law ( second marriage) completely F'd me on everything my brother owned for absolutely no apparent reason. She gave all his prized possessions to other people. I only showed her respect and love.  My younger brother.....who I  loved more than anything and took care of after our mom died suddenly in 1971.....never drew up a will etc. Let that be a lesson to all you young guys!! He wasn't smart.....he was narcisstic. His second wife screwed his kids and even held back on his ashes. People can suck.....especially family.
 Sorry to hear about your loss AND especially the dysfunctional family. That's the hard part as it sounds like they are still around. Dude....it always gets better....I know that after over 50 years of living with big loss.

I appreciate you sharing Mike.

[Kevin D]

So sorry for your loss Bill, and sorry for the tough circumstances.

[RAFster122s]

My condolences Bill, sorry for your loss. Even when not very close it isn't easy. Sorry you have gone through that. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction unfortunately, few are able to break the cycle. My two sisters and mom and dad were toxic to me to live near or try to involve in my life. I have lived far from where I grew up for most of my adult life. I share that to only say I can understand somewhat of what you are saying.

[grcamna2]

My condolences Bill, sorry for your loss. Even when not very close it isn't easy. Sorry you have gone through that. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction unfortunately, few are able to break the cycle. My two sisters and mom and dad were toxic to me to live near or try to involve in my life. I have lived far from where I grew up for most of my adult life. I share that to only say I can understand somewhat of what you are saying.

I understand.

[Stev-o]

Hey Bill...so sorry to hear of your loss.

It can be tough having a good relationship with immediate family, I had a terrible relationship with my Mother as a young man but once I moved out, things changed and I grew to love my parents in a good way. 

Unfortunately, she passed away about ten years ago and it was tough.  They say time heals all wounds, plz try to forgive her so you dont carry the burden.

[Bankerdanny]

Condolences Bill. Even when you aren't close losing a parent is hard. Both of mine have been gone for a while now, it's definitely hard.

[grcamna2]

Condolences Bill. Even when you aren't close losing a parent is hard. Both of mine have been gone for a while now, it's definitely hard.

Yes it is.

[Kelly E]

My condolences Bill

[Terry in Australia]

Condolences Bill, I had a difficult relationship with my dad and can understand your feelings to a point but I’ve had a much better relationship with my mum since his passing. He had a lot of emotional baggage that he carried through his life and I was always envious of the relationship my wife had with both her parents who were always there for both of us, and I enjoyed Christmas especially spent with her family much more than my own. I guess what I’m saying is that almost every family has at least one dud, so I’ve tried to be a better father to my two boys than my dad was to my siblings. Life goes on, and you just need to keep moving forward.

[Tracksnblades1]

Sincere condolences Bill.

Reading your post about your family and Mike’s and others, my 95 year old grandmother’s words came to mind. 

As she told me..” If you live as long as I have you”ll learn as I did, everything is normal. All families have their high and lows. All new parents raise their children and family to be the exception. You really can’t control much of it, so do your best, surround your family with those that make you happy and instill what’s good in your children”.

There are things we can’t change. Don’t beat yourself up over having a normal family. Even a good apple tree has a few bad apples…concentrate on your good apples..😇