Topic: Man! I feel like an ass! (Looking for a little "support" on this one)

[snyquist53]

And?? There has to be more to this tale.

it turned into a custom tank real quick.  luckily the cap and petcock was off.  it launch up off the work bench about a foot and hit my welding helmet.  the sides blew out and i almost had a heart attack

[jonbuoy]

self inflicted knobness...., had a VTR1000F, was really good a second gear wheelies..... mates down the street one day are eggin me on.... thought i was in second... was in first.... came up real quick, with the reaction of shutting the throttle off, big twin engine breaking, coupled with front wheel meeting terra firma =  smashed manliness on the tank!!!!!! . went about 20 metres then pulled into a car park, where i fell off b/c i couldnt get my legs down due to the pain....

yep i'm a knob..!!!!!

so dont feel bad mate... its all good.

peace

Great choice I still miss mine   one of the nicest sounding vtwins I reckon.

[mikedialect]

The first day I had my bike, I am down town with tons of people around. I jump on the kickstart, and it starts to move forward and I tip over. I kepted my hands on the handle bars so I reduced alot of the damange with only a little scuff on the bottom of the engine case.

Sadly I did the same thing with a bike I had....and the best part?

I had just received the card from the motorcycle safety foundation and I was in view of the instructor. I only had 3 hours of sleep the night before and I was dead tired- I passed- but I still made an ass out of myself and that poor bike

[Bikebuff]

it turned into a custom tank real quick. luckily the cap and petcock was off. it launch up off the work bench about a foot and hit my welding helmet. the sides blew out and i almost had a heart attack

Glad you're safe.  I was laughing myself sideways however. 

So I bought these sharp Marzocchi shocks for my '70 750 K0.  They're beautiful-black with not a mark on them.  So a couple of weeks ago I take the old shocks and lowering links off and try to get them on.  Now, mind you, it's on the centerstand and I've got less then 0.25 inch away from getting the bottem part of the shock set so I can thread the nut and then bolt it down.  Since the shocks are new and stiff, I'm panting and sweating until I'm cursing up a storm.  Since I'm alone, I'm trying to come up with every conceivable way to get these suckers mounted without scratching them and getting angry.  So, FINALLY, after a little breaker bar action I get both of them mounted and I am happy as a clam.  I revel in my success, and have a beer to celebrate.  The next morning (Sunday), I walk into the garage prior to going to church, strutting proud as I'm looking at my handiwork and realize that I mounted the right side reversed so the cover on top that spells out Marzocchi is backword and facing the inside toward the seat (and therefore you can't see it/read it), whereas the other one is mounted correctly.  And, there are multiple paint chips on both shocks.  Oops.

Oh, and there was this other time (like 3 weeks ago) I tried to get my motorcyle off of the pickup truck I rented to transport it from my brother's house to my home.  Alone.  Without a motorcyle ramp, BUT with a 2'x12' plank of (warped) wood.  I'll share that hare-brained scheme later. 

[Somemonkey]

Yesterday I took my bike out for a ride around Little Five Points Atlanta. I come to an intersection when this guy is turning left and he almost pulls in front of me. As I'm calling the guy a jackass in my head, I look down and realize I've been riding with my right turn signal on. The guy thought I was turning either before or at the intersection. Oops.

[c_kyle]

I feel like an ass when I stall my bike at intersections. I've done it about 4 times. But what makes me feel like more of an ass is when I try to put the bike on the center stand. I can't do it and I keep trying and I know everyone stops what they're doing to watch me not be able to put the bike on the center-stand. I'm f***ing short, too damn short to put the bike on the center-stand! I'm just going to remove it, since I can't use it at all.

Don't do that.  There's a trick.  It has nothing to do with height or lifting the bike.  Get the bike level on the ground-put the centerstand on the ground (both sides).  Then grasp the grab rail with your right hand and direct your energy between the two.  In other words spread the two apart.  Stand on the centerstand while pulling the grab rail.

I don't have a grab rail, but I'm going to go try that now.

I still can't do it...



...I'm a moron who can't put the bike on the center stand...

[super pasty white guy]

Do you have lowering blocks on that bike?  When I had them on mine (first week of ownership) I had a bear of a time getting the bike on the centerstand. 

It's all technique tho.  You might try putting the back wheel on a 1" or 2" piece of wood for a couple of tries till you get the hang of it.

Dave

[JP]

I used to wear house slippers when working in my garage.

My buddy takes my bike for a spin and parks it in an awkward position.  I go to back it up, but he has also left it in gear.  I decide to put it into neutral, but I'm wearing the slippers so I reach down with my left hand to pull on the shifter.

As I decend, my forehead smacks the clutch perch so I quickly raise up and let the bike rest back down on the kickstand- only to realize painfully that the kickstand was perfectly aligned with my big toe...... I screamed like a toddler.

I know longer wear house slippers in the garage.

JP

[clarkjh]

I'm sorry JP but I just had to laugh at that one.  Bet it hurt a lot worse then leaning down to turn the key on just after I put the fairing back on, windscreen right across the forehead.

James

[martini]

I've posted this episode before but as the topic has come up again here it goes. I'm sitting in a coffee shop with my bike parked outside the window. I'm admiring how good it looks and some guy even comes up and starts talking to me about it. Finally, I get up to leave, walk outside cool as can be,  throw my leg over, put the key, fire it up, won't start. Keep trying until battery dies, nothin. Okay, no problem, start to kick it over, nothin. Getting really annoyed, and hot. Take of my jacket helmet, etc., kick, kick, kick, nothin. People inside the coffee shop asking me if I need a ride, etc. Finally I give up, phone the wife, "please come and get me". So I'm sitting there on the bike waiting for her to arrive when I notice something - I never turned the damn kill switch on - d'oh! Flick it on, kick it once, bike starts first time. Of course by now my wife has left the house, I have our only cell phone, so I get to sit there and wait for her and then explain to her what an idiot I am.

[dusterdude]

I feel like an ass when I stall my bike at intersections. I've done it about 4 times. But what makes me feel like more of an ass is when I try to put the bike on the center stand. I can't do it and I keep trying and I know everyone stops what they're doing to watch me not be able to put the bike on the center-stand. I'm f***ing short, too damn short to put the bike on the center-stand! I'm just going to remove it, since I can't use it at all.

Don't do that.  There's a trick.  It has nothing to do with height or lifting the bike.  Get the bike level on the ground-put the centerstand on the ground (both sides).  Then grasp the grab rail with your right hand and direct your energy between the two.  In other words spread the two apart.  Stand on the centerstand while pulling the grab rail.

I don't have a grab rail, but I'm going to go try that now.

I still can't do it...



...I'm a moron who can't put the bike on the center stand...

dont feel bad,i cant either

[c_kyle]

Do you have lowering blocks on that bike?  When I had them on mine (first week of ownership) I had a bear of a time getting the bike on the centerstand. 

It's all technique tho.  You might try putting the back wheel on a 1" or 2" piece of wood for a couple of tries till you get the hang of it.

Dave

I'm going to throw some wood in a backpack and find a deserted parking lot in an abandoned town in the middle of nowhere and practice.

[Izzy]

Try rebulding and engine and then remembering you've forgot to put the valve stem seals in! Yup! Head off, valves out...yadda yadda

[bgfootball67]

While I have done some stupid stuff when riding my motorcycles, the best one I have ever seen happened while at Quaker Steak and Lube's weekly bike night.  The chain just had a new location open in Dayton, Ohio (Beavercreek) during their grand opening event they were letting people goof off a bit more than they usually do.  Well along with the usual burn outs and stuff, they had a few guys pulling wheelies. 

After seeing several young guys pulling wheels while leaving the venue, an older guy decides to take a whack at it.  He was riding a Sprint (I think), cracked it open hard core and just looked like he had no business on one wheel.  I noticed he was not paying much attention, just as he began to set the front wheel down, he hit the curb at the end of the drive flying head over heals over the handle bars.  He ended up leaving in and ambulance (not funny) but was fine.  I guess you had to be there, but I assure you it was hilarious...

[kach_me]

...I guess I don't feel quite so bad now... thanks for making me laugh! (I still feel like an ass though)

[Shenanigans]

About the center stand, I used to not be able to get it to budge at all. After trying diffrent position and angles for a half hour it finally went. With me I had to lean over the bike when I stood on the stand and it was very easy. If I can do it I believe anyone can do it, within reason. You just got to find that right spot.

[kslrr]

I must have done most of the 'OOPS' things: forget to turn on fuel, forget to switch on kill switch, forget to raise side stand, forget to lower side stand, try to start engine while in gear, after parking release clutch while still in gear, while dismounting catch pant leg on turn signal and fall on butt, etc., etc.

Oh well, just get up, smile and keep riding.  Maybe one day I will be perfect.  NOT!

[Skonnie Boy]

Kach_me, you are clearly my long lost brother.

Check this.  It wasn't very long ago.

http://www.sohc4.us/forums/index.php?topic=22079.msg227686#msg227686

I might also share the time I was working on the petcock, replacing the gaskets.  Figured I'd save time by not draining the tank first.  Upside down it goes, with a towel underneath.  10 minutes later turn it back over to find the towel completely soaked in gas and stuck to the tank.  I must say, terrycloth makes the most fascinating pattern of indentations on clearcoat.  Its like tiny little perfect divets wherever the cloth strands wick gas to whatever it touches.  The paint scheme was crap anyway, and I was gonna learn about wet-sanding sooner or later.  Fück. The. World.

I'll bet the Night Rider never gave a Shizzit about Clear Coat.   

[Andrew Foss]

pulled up to a stop sign at my school with the bike cold, stalled and had to kick it (no electric start) bike started, but the kicker had somehow gone into my pant leg, i didnt drop the bike, but it was close and must've looked hilarious..
-andrew

[droopy]

welded up a leak in my gas tank,  didn't wait long enough for the fumes to leave...

Been there done that
then to topoff the day had a backfire out the carbs bike shuts off and air filters catch fire at 60mph
  flames comming up around tank by the time I get stopped   total rewire total repaint and a valve job/ camchain replacement rebuild carbs 4 days after fire ride 500 miles round trip no problems after spending 30 hours fixing my screwup

[jaknight]

 

     Back in 1960 or '61, riding down a rough, sandy, and gravel road in Twenty Nine Palms, California, with my best friend on the back of the seat.  There was a small desert sand embankment on the edge of the "road."

     He said into my left ear, "Man, you are good at this, I trust you where I would never trust anyone else."  I turned my head to the left, trying to look at him,....... I said, "What?"

     The front wheel went funny in my hands.......... I turned my head back just in time to hit that ebankment at about 45 MPH............... Everything went out from under me........The view looked like I had just been shot out of a vertical canon......... As I'm flying through the air, I see my friend hanging on to the seat strap, going along on the motorcycle with no one up front driving.........

     I get lucky and land in a bunch of soft sand......... Get up and see my friend still hanging on,....... no one up front............ bike finally goes down behind some bushes........ I'm running, fearing for my friend's safety........... as I get closer, I hear him laughing........

     When I get around the back side of the bush, he's on the ground rolling and laughing.......... I said "What in the hell are you laughing at?"

     "Oh man,.......... did you look cool............... you took off over the handlebars like Superman............... Can you do that again?"

 

     ~ ~ ~ jaknight ~ ~ ~

[mwvachon]

Switching between vintage and more modern rides brings it's own headaches. The 'regular' ride is a 1999 Valkyrie Interstate, complete with all the modern electronics, interlocks, etc. The older bike in this scenario was the 1971 CB500 I had up until last year. When I first got the CB500, went through everything [didn't really need much - was in excellent shape to start with, only 12K miles], full tune-up, the works. Got it registered and was ready for my maiden voyage. Standing next to the bike [key point here], I leaned over, inserted the key, flipped the gas on, closed the choke, blipped the throttle, and reached over and punched the starter. The next thing I knew I was on my back 'wearing' the CB500! Ummm... Note to self: This bike CAN be started while in gear! Fortunately for me, the bike didn't fire right up! It simply lurched forward, off of the side-stand and proceeded to knock me over with it. I guess my body minimized any cosmetic damage [only bent a clutch lever], but twisted my ankle something awful! DOH! Fortunately for me there were no witnesses - thus I will disavow this story if ever brought up!

[croquesaveur]

I was severely jonesing to ride this spring.  The snow and ice were mostly gone from the roads.  Being a total dumbass, I spent ten minutes digging my bike out of a snow bank and getting it started.  I got about half a kilometer before I dropped it.  Broke my thumb.  I now have a plate in there.  http://www.chrass.com/?p=146

[Al_Aaraaf]

Stopped for gas. Forgot to put kickstand down, leaned it over to the left to get off the bike, and down she went.

I've actually had a few tip-overs. I've got total crap balance and a gimpy left leg.

[Rocker]

This happened to a friend while riding my bike.

I have a pair of U shaped bars (one on each side) that wrap around my lower engine block and connect to the lower mounting bolts of my frame. They are over sized frame sliders I think..lol. I personally do not like they way they look but have not had the time to pull the engine mounting bolts out to remove the bars. It is apparent the previous owner of my bike had highway pegs mounted on them at one point and I don't blame them. The bars are at the right level to stretch out your legs. Even though the highway pegs are gone, there is still enough room to prop my heal up on during long rides.

For one particular ride, my friend and I swapped bikes. He rode my 750 and I rode his vtx1800. He was wearing shorts and at one point I saw his prop his legs up on the bar. When we pulled over for gas he showed me his leg. He had vent burns from my motor on his inner right calf. My motor was just a little wider then what he was used to. He still has a small scar on his leg too.