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Author Topic: A couple of New Zealanders......................  (Read 1944 times)

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Offline Terry in Australia

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A couple of New Zealanders......................
« on: June 22, 2007, 09:22:19 PM »
Sconny and TD are panhandling at the freeway off ramp in Sydney.

TD only brings in 2 to 3 dollars a day.
 
Sconny drives a Mercedes, lives in a big house and his kids go to a private school.
 
TD asks Sconny how he can bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day.
 
Sconny says, "Look at your sign."  It reads: "I have no work, a sheep & 6 kids to support"
 
TD looks at Sconny's sign.
 
It reads: "I only need another 10 bucks to move back to New Zealand"! ;D
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

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Offline scunny

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2007, 03:35:50 PM »
Terry, you made me spill my coffee  ;)
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2007, 01:02:24 PM »
Australia/New Zealand inter-racial feeling is that bad, eh?
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Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2007, 11:56:33 PM »
Quote from: nickjtc on June 25, 2007, 01:02:24 PM
Australia/New Zealand inter-racial feeling is that bad, eh?

Nah, we just love taking the pizz out of each other, apart from Aussies, Kiwi's are the nicest race on the planet!  ;D (here it comes..................)
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline nickjtc

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #4 on: June 26, 2007, 08:31:04 AM »
Quote from: Terry in Australia on June 25, 2007, 11:56:33 PM
Nah, we just love taking the pizz out of each other, apart from Aussies, Kiwi's are the nicest race on the planet!  ;D (here it comes..................)

Now I am definately going to get beverage du jour and some popcorn. Oh wait, I'm at work..... ::)
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Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline toycollector10

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #5 on: June 26, 2007, 03:15:56 PM »
Q. What did the Aussie sheila use for protection during sex?

A. A bus stop shelter.



Q. How did the Aussie sheila turn the light on after she had sex?

A. She opened the car door.


I was talking to Terry the other day. He said that he was very impressed with the hospitality of us Kiwis. He said that on our west coast when you arrive at a local pub down there all the people make you feel very welcome. They buy you drinks and even take you home for a meal if that's what you want then put you up for the night. And on top of all that at the local pub you can get all the sex you want out in the car park. I said "Jeez, Terry, have you been visiting New Zealand" and he said
"No, but my sister has"

Boom boom
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #6 on: June 26, 2007, 04:02:16 PM »
Well, we all know that the Australian definition of foreplay is "Brace yourself, Sheila."
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Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline 750goes

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #7 on: June 26, 2007, 04:41:05 PM »
sorry nick you are wrong -we don't waste time with words..... ;D
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2007, 09:36:55 PM »
Quote from: 750goes on June 26, 2007, 04:41:05 PM
sorry nick you are wrong -we don't waste time with words..... ;D

I thought that was the case, but I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.
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Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline toycollector10

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2007, 11:36:46 PM »
You've got it all wrong. An Aussies idea of foreplay is "Are you awake"?
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Offline 750goes

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2007, 11:46:44 PM »
we have to check if they are alive or not - don't we ??

also .... snoring and or breathing is a form of consent...particluarly with mouth open..
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Offline nickjtc

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2007, 06:19:47 AM »
Quote from: 750goes on June 26, 2007, 11:46:44 PM
also .... snoring and or breathing is a form of consent...particluarly with mouth open..

It goes from bad to worse. 8)
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Nick J. Member #3247

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Offline Terry in Australia

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #12 on: June 27, 2007, 07:19:24 PM »
Quote from: toycollector10 on June 26, 2007, 11:36:46 PM
You've got it all wrong. An Aussies idea of foreplay is "Are you awake"?

Or if you're a Kiwi, patting the sheep as you tuck it's hind legs into your gumboots................ :)
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I was feeling sorry for myself because I couldn't afford new bike boots, until I met a man with no legs.

So I said, "Hey mate, you haven't got any bike boots you don't need, do you?"

"Crazy is a very misunderstood term, it's a fine line that some of us can lean over and still keep our balance" (thanks RB550Four)

Offline Hockers Choppers

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #13 on: June 27, 2007, 08:34:20 PM »
KACHOW!!!!!!
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Offline dpen

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #14 on: June 28, 2007, 01:51:43 AM »
How does a Kiwi find a sheep in long grass?

Delightful!
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Offline toycollector10

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2007, 11:13:40 AM »
Q.  What do you call an Australian who farms both sheep and goats?


A. Bisexual.


Q. What are the best four years of an Aussies life?


A. Fifth form.


« Last Edit: June 28, 2007, 11:23:26 AM by toycollector10 »
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Offline Bob Wessner

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Re: A couple of New Zealanders......................
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2007, 11:18:12 AM »
Quote from: toycollector10 on June 28, 2007, 11:13:40 AM
Q.  What do you call an Australian who farms both sheep and goats?


A. Bisexual




 ;D Got a chuckle out of that one.
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