Topic: European Terror Alerts

[Pinhead]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross."  Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the
blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.  Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."  The last time
the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the
great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."  The only two higher levels in
France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate."  The rise was precipitated by
a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
alert.  Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing."  Two more levels remain:
"Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."  They also have two
higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.
These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish
Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy.

[medic09]

 

[Dawdlin Dog]

 
That is the funniest thing I've read for a long time. Brilliant.
 

[dusterdude]

omg,that about killed me.

[malcolmgb]

I just read it.

I'm now Irritated

[Sam Green Racing]

If it wasn't really happening it would be real funny

Sam.

[malcolmgb]

Agreed, hence my reply. I don't feel at all comfortable right now, I visit East Midlands Airport every working day, I fly to the US in October, a while off yet I know and the town I live in has a large Asian (Middle Eastern) population centred close to where I live.

[Sam Green Racing]

I work with hundreds of them Malc, all nice guys but you can never tell.

We are having a new office complex built across the road to accommodate 600.
they are building into it a prayer room for them

I asked my boss why they are doing this and he said we have to cater for their needs, they are Muslims and have to pray.
I told him I am an alcoholic and want a bar fitting in the security room.

Sam.

[Pinhead]

Yeah horse #$%*. I'm Christian and want to pray, too. I GUARANTEE you won't see anybody cater to my needs. In fact, they're doing all they possibly can to ELIMINATE any possibility that i can pray in "public."

[Steve F]

Yeah horse #$%*. I'm Christian and want to pray, too. I GUARANTEE you won't see anybody cater to my needs. In fact, they're doing all they possibly can to ELIMINATE any possibility that i can pray in "public."

There you go!  Spot on! 

[GeoffT]

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist
threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or
even "A Bit Cross."  Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the
blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.  Terrorists have been
re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."  The last time
the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the
great fire of 1666.

They might be feeling the pinch in England but here in Scotland and in particular down in Glasgow things are done a little different. 

Check out this guy!! 

N.B. In the UK fag = cigarette

http://johnsmeaton.com/?page_id=8

Smeato Rocks

[eldar]

You know, even if I was in europe and this was happening, I would still laugh. After all the whole idea behind terrorism is terror. To make you live in fear and affect your way of life.   So to this end I claim the ALL terrorists are cowards that hide behind children and old women and will always get their butts kicked in any semblance of a decent fight.

[ieism]

Disclaimer:This is not intended as a political rant or debate about racism....

What a complete waste of time. We're not scared here in Europe, and will never be scared. Terrorism doesn't work, I'm pretty sure of this as I've lived in Israel for some time.
I witnessed a misile attack on a city in nothern-israel some ten years ago, and had no idea what was going on. Nobody was scared. They casually walked to the nearest bombshelter, and invited me to come along politely. No big deal. They even had cold beer there.

This hatred for Arabs and Muslims is uncalled for too. 99.9% of them are great people who've never done any harm to anyone and just want the freedom to live their lives and pratice their religion.
You whine about them having a place to pray in the office? Have you ever asked yourself why they might need such a space? Perhaps because unlike Christians they have to pray 5 times a day, and the nearest mosque is probably too far away to do this on coffeebrakes.
I guerantee that anyone taking the time to become friends with a Muslim or Arab, will find that they are no different than we are here in Europe, Jews, Catholics, Alcoholics, we're all the same.

The original post was hilarious by the way.

[malcolmgb]

Dear oh dear! did I open a can of worms? if so that was not my intention.
I did not use the word fear but I am still uncomfortable with current events.
As to GeoffT post, I'm not sure what he is trying to say, but his second link left me speachless, yes John Smeaton acted admirably as I'm sure many people of whatever nationality would in such circumstances.
There are other things I could say but this is the 'Humour' page and so should probably be left as such.

[Pinhead]

I didn't mean that they should be denied a place to pray... It just pisses me off that WE don't/can't.

Anyway... The original post was a joke... Hence being in the humor section.

[toycollector10]

Yeah Malcolm, and they are all Muslims too. As you well know. I could go on but it wouldn't do any bloody good.

[GeoffT]

Dear oh dear! did I open a can of worms? if so that was not my intention.
I did not use the word fear but I am still uncomfortable with current events.
As to GeoffT post, I'm not sure what he is trying to say, but his second link left me speachless, yes John Smeaton acted admirably as I'm sure many people of whatever nationality would in such circumstances.
There are other things I could say but this is the 'Humour' page and so should probably be left as such.

Just want to assure you that my earlier post was very much tongue in cheak. 

As you so rightly put it the original very witty post was put in the humour section. I wasn't particularly getting at anything, when I saw this post in humour thought I'd bring John Smeaton to your attention. This guys story has taken to the internet like a duck to water. Just google his name to see what I mean. Although I would point out that he was not the only one to get involved at Glasgow Airport. Some other poor guy just returned from his Hollidays and went to help the police and he got himself a leg broken in two places and several missing teeth.   

The third link I posted is to a site that was set up by some guy to show appreciation to the 'Smeatonator' - it is done very much in the spirit of fun. Take a look at it, its hilarious.  I know for certain that if there had been serious injuries or fatalities in London or Glasgow last week then The 'Smeaton' charachter would not have snow balled. The fact that there wasn't has allowed us, I think, to have a little smile along with 'Smeato' in a time when most of the world news gives us nothing to smile about.